I am this bored
If I were a month, I’d be December because I'm ~glittery~
If I were a day of the week, I’d be Sunday because I enjoy sitting on my ass.
If I were a time of day, I’d be evening, because I... enjoy sitting on my ass.
If I were a planet, I’d be Vulcan because I'm a goddamned pacifist hippie and I also like watching gay boys wrestle each other.
If I were a sea animal, I’d be GRACIE THE PREGNANT SPACE WHALE. THAT OR SPONGEBOB
If I were a direction, I’d be up your butt and around the corner.
If I were a piece of furniture, I’d be one of those like, swings that hangs from the ceiling. The therapy ones. Not a sex swing.
If I were a liquid, I’d be that puddle of weird silvery shit that Alex Mack turns into.
If I were a tree, I’d be A HAPPY LITTLE TREE PAINTED BY BOB ROSS. Or a Christmas tree covered in shiny crap.
If I were a flower, I’d be PRETTY.
If I were a kind of weather, I’d be a thunderstorm. Like, the peaceful ones that make you want a nap. Not the scary kind.
If I were a musical instrument, I’d be a keytar. You will never be as rad as me.
If I were a color, I’d be ALL OF THE COLORS
If I were an emotion, I’d be fangirl squee
If I were a fruit, I’d be a dandy little lad.
If I were a sound, I’d be KAZOO MUSIC
If I were an element, I’d be ununquadium 'cause that's fun to say
If I were a car, I’d be a hippie van
If I were a food, I’d be TACOS
If I were a place, I’d be the inside of a bouncy castle
If I were a taste, I’d be sweet, but the kind of sweet that burns off the inside of your mouth, like a green apple Blowpop haha I said blow
If I were a scent, I’d be the smell of kindergarten, like a mix of Play-doh, tempera paint and floor wax
If I were an object, I’d be FAIRY DUST
If I were a body part, I’d be a spleen
If I were a facial expression, I’d be a look of consternation
If I were a song, I’d be that song from Animaniacs where Yakko sings all the countries really fast
If I were a day of the week, I’d be Sunday because I enjoy sitting on my ass.
If I were a time of day, I’d be evening, because I... enjoy sitting on my ass.
If I were a planet, I’d be Vulcan because I'm a goddamned pacifist hippie and I also like watching gay boys wrestle each other.
If I were a sea animal, I’d be GRACIE THE PREGNANT SPACE WHALE. THAT OR SPONGEBOB
If I were a direction, I’d be up your butt and around the corner.
If I were a piece of furniture, I’d be one of those like, swings that hangs from the ceiling. The therapy ones. Not a sex swing.
If I were a liquid, I’d be that puddle of weird silvery shit that Alex Mack turns into.
If I were a tree, I’d be A HAPPY LITTLE TREE PAINTED BY BOB ROSS. Or a Christmas tree covered in shiny crap.
If I were a flower, I’d be PRETTY.
If I were a kind of weather, I’d be a thunderstorm. Like, the peaceful ones that make you want a nap. Not the scary kind.
If I were a musical instrument, I’d be a keytar. You will never be as rad as me.
If I were a color, I’d be ALL OF THE COLORS
If I were an emotion, I’d be fangirl squee
If I were a fruit, I’d be a dandy little lad.
If I were a sound, I’d be KAZOO MUSIC
If I were an element, I’d be ununquadium 'cause that's fun to say
If I were a car, I’d be a hippie van
If I were a food, I’d be TACOS
If I were a place, I’d be the inside of a bouncy castle
If I were a taste, I’d be sweet, but the kind of sweet that burns off the inside of your mouth, like a green apple Blowpop haha I said blow
If I were a scent, I’d be the smell of kindergarten, like a mix of Play-doh, tempera paint and floor wax
If I were an object, I’d be FAIRY DUST
If I were a body part, I’d be a spleen
If I were a facial expression, I’d be a look of consternation
If I were a song, I’d be that song from Animaniacs where Yakko sings all the countries really fast