Christmas 2: Electric Boogaloo!
Holy hell. I knew I had one more present coming in the mail, but I was expecting to be able to tack it on the end of the other post. Instead I ended up making a WHOLE NEW POST, because... well... you'll see.
My friend Roni who sent this kept warning me that I was getting "something weird". I was a little nervous she had gotten me fake dog doo or a baby Jesus buttplug or something, because that is her sense of humor. What I got instead was... a box. A huge box, one that I knew was too big to hold a DVD, or a buttplug, or dog doo. In the box was.... a bag.
It was an Archie McPhee surprise bag! When I started digging into all this stuff, I was pretty giddy. It felt like a little-kid Christmas, opening toy after toy that I will never use but NEED TO HAVE on some inane, compulsive-hoarder level. The awesome absurdity of these toys pretty much speaks for itself, so I'm just going to put up the pics and explain what they are. I'll say right up front, I failed like hell at photography here. I choose to blame this on the fact that I was listening to I Am Spock and kept giggling over the nuclear wessels.
Here we have Hawaiian stickers, little girl hair accessories that you better believe I will use, and 7 Deadly Sins wristbands. You remember those Livestrong type bracelets everyone was wearing a few years ago? These are their more sinister brethren. Envy and Vanity are pretty good ones, though it would've been more accurate if I'd gotten Gluttony and Sloth.
Black cat swizzle sticks, Halloween greeting cards, and... whatever those cat things are. I'm sure I'll find some ridiculous and/or nefarious use for them.
The box contained an insane amount of things branded as "Parasite Pals". This is the girlier 2/3 of them. Here we have a bunch of little erasers, a pack of Valentines, a notepad, an address book, and some zippered pouches.
Annie Oakley! And cowboy napkins! You wouldn't expect a grab bag like this to contain full-size action figures, but Annie just proved you wrong. Plus, she's educational! Frankly I didn't know shit about Annie Oakley, and the back of the box has a bio. I'm lernding.
Here's the rest of the Parasite Pals: two "Dig Dig Head Louse" comb and mirror sets, a matching wallet, and a little notepad. I love little notepads!
A zebra-striped Devil Duckie, and his numerous minions. The minions are erasers, but I'm more likely to use them as some sort of army.
Novelty tape: Tiki Tape and Rosie the Riveter! Now I can pretend my house is the scene of some kind of feminist, South Pacific crime.
Pen for writing secret messages (which apparently has a tiny blacklight for reading them), coasters that will forever make me hungry for sushi, and hobo-themed bubblegum cigarettes.
Yo dawg I heard you like boxes of stupid toys so we put a box of stupid toys in your box of stupid toys so you can pretend to be five while you pretend to be five.
The contents...
...and the contents of the contents. It's hard to see what these are because my photography sucks so bad, but it's basically an assortment of your standard cheap kid-prizes: whistles, army men, little puzzles, that sort of thing. Boy do these take me back. I had this kind of crap scattered ALL over my room as a kid, and you probably did too.
If I disappear for weeks, don't be too alarmed. I'm just distracted by small, spinning pieces of plastic. Thanks Roni!
My friend Roni who sent this kept warning me that I was getting "something weird". I was a little nervous she had gotten me fake dog doo or a baby Jesus buttplug or something, because that is her sense of humor. What I got instead was... a box. A huge box, one that I knew was too big to hold a DVD, or a buttplug, or dog doo. In the box was.... a bag.
It was an Archie McPhee surprise bag! When I started digging into all this stuff, I was pretty giddy. It felt like a little-kid Christmas, opening toy after toy that I will never use but NEED TO HAVE on some inane, compulsive-hoarder level. The awesome absurdity of these toys pretty much speaks for itself, so I'm just going to put up the pics and explain what they are. I'll say right up front, I failed like hell at photography here. I choose to blame this on the fact that I was listening to I Am Spock and kept giggling over the nuclear wessels.
Here we have Hawaiian stickers, little girl hair accessories that you better believe I will use, and 7 Deadly Sins wristbands. You remember those Livestrong type bracelets everyone was wearing a few years ago? These are their more sinister brethren. Envy and Vanity are pretty good ones, though it would've been more accurate if I'd gotten Gluttony and Sloth.
Black cat swizzle sticks, Halloween greeting cards, and... whatever those cat things are. I'm sure I'll find some ridiculous and/or nefarious use for them.
The box contained an insane amount of things branded as "Parasite Pals". This is the girlier 2/3 of them. Here we have a bunch of little erasers, a pack of Valentines, a notepad, an address book, and some zippered pouches.
Annie Oakley! And cowboy napkins! You wouldn't expect a grab bag like this to contain full-size action figures, but Annie just proved you wrong. Plus, she's educational! Frankly I didn't know shit about Annie Oakley, and the back of the box has a bio. I'm lernding.
Here's the rest of the Parasite Pals: two "Dig Dig Head Louse" comb and mirror sets, a matching wallet, and a little notepad. I love little notepads!
A zebra-striped Devil Duckie, and his numerous minions. The minions are erasers, but I'm more likely to use them as some sort of army.
Novelty tape: Tiki Tape and Rosie the Riveter! Now I can pretend my house is the scene of some kind of feminist, South Pacific crime.
Pen for writing secret messages (which apparently has a tiny blacklight for reading them), coasters that will forever make me hungry for sushi, and hobo-themed bubblegum cigarettes.
Yo dawg I heard you like boxes of stupid toys so we put a box of stupid toys in your box of stupid toys so you can pretend to be five while you pretend to be five.
The contents...
...and the contents of the contents. It's hard to see what these are because my photography sucks so bad, but it's basically an assortment of your standard cheap kid-prizes: whistles, army men, little puzzles, that sort of thing. Boy do these take me back. I had this kind of crap scattered ALL over my room as a kid, and you probably did too.
If I disappear for weeks, don't be too alarmed. I'm just distracted by small, spinning pieces of plastic. Thanks Roni!