rawr
okay, so i'm just going to spill. i don't want people to make this out to be a big thing.... at all.
i've been doing alot of thinking, i'm wondering if i've made the right decisions on certain parts of my life. for instance, phil. i gave up alot when i turned away from him. he seemed to care alot about me, no matter if it was childish or not. granted i'll never get him back, and i don't know if thats what i really want. i do however, wish that we could just be cool. he was always a good listener and its just begining to seem like i really need someone to lend me an ear.
i'm kinda jelious of everyone, in their perfect relationships. not saying it to be mean. i mean, i had that... i just gave it up. i wanted to be normal, and see how it is being just me without someone elses name right next to mine. but maybe i was intended to be with that person, and i just ruined it. who knows it could possibly have been the best thing i've done yet.
you know i could have been in the windy city by now, but i think i made the right decision on that part. at least thats what i hope. i fell in love with that guy when i was 14 and i just thought that things would be good. granted hes probably really pissed at me right now, mainly because he had everything planned to the T for us moving, he was ready to sacrafice everything. including his family. i turned on him, but i think if i would of left i would have been turning on my family and friends.
everything seemed to be going so well, at least when we were in high school. granted i talked alot of shit, and i said somethings that i shouldn't have, but high school was just so easy. thats something that i'll never have again. i made so good friendships and then again i haven't. but theres always good people and bad people in the world.
i'm not saying i'm perfect by any means. i've made some really messed up decisions. i just wish i could fix them. i'm begining to wonder what my purpose in life really is.
i'm begining to already feel like the third wheel with someone. they don't really call, unless its just to chat. i miss hanging out and i'm wondering if this is going to be how our friendship is really going to be. i hope not. i would be confiding in this person right now, but i just don't want to be intruding. i still haven't gotten a call, and its probably going to be like this. i'm begining to feel like its exactly like i called it before that person came back. i'll just deal with it. i love her, shes like a sister... i guess i feel a little torn....
on the other hand.... ricky is full of shit. i don't want to be with him... nor do i have the intention of fooling around with him. i'm not looking to be with him, and i wasn't in the first place. i would rather be on an insland with a monkey... at least then, i would be more entertained. lol. so fuck him. not literally.
peace out
kristin marie
i've been doing alot of thinking, i'm wondering if i've made the right decisions on certain parts of my life. for instance, phil. i gave up alot when i turned away from him. he seemed to care alot about me, no matter if it was childish or not. granted i'll never get him back, and i don't know if thats what i really want. i do however, wish that we could just be cool. he was always a good listener and its just begining to seem like i really need someone to lend me an ear.
i'm kinda jelious of everyone, in their perfect relationships. not saying it to be mean. i mean, i had that... i just gave it up. i wanted to be normal, and see how it is being just me without someone elses name right next to mine. but maybe i was intended to be with that person, and i just ruined it. who knows it could possibly have been the best thing i've done yet.
you know i could have been in the windy city by now, but i think i made the right decision on that part. at least thats what i hope. i fell in love with that guy when i was 14 and i just thought that things would be good. granted hes probably really pissed at me right now, mainly because he had everything planned to the T for us moving, he was ready to sacrafice everything. including his family. i turned on him, but i think if i would of left i would have been turning on my family and friends.
everything seemed to be going so well, at least when we were in high school. granted i talked alot of shit, and i said somethings that i shouldn't have, but high school was just so easy. thats something that i'll never have again. i made so good friendships and then again i haven't. but theres always good people and bad people in the world.
i'm not saying i'm perfect by any means. i've made some really messed up decisions. i just wish i could fix them. i'm begining to wonder what my purpose in life really is.
i'm begining to already feel like the third wheel with someone. they don't really call, unless its just to chat. i miss hanging out and i'm wondering if this is going to be how our friendship is really going to be. i hope not. i would be confiding in this person right now, but i just don't want to be intruding. i still haven't gotten a call, and its probably going to be like this. i'm begining to feel like its exactly like i called it before that person came back. i'll just deal with it. i love her, shes like a sister... i guess i feel a little torn....
on the other hand.... ricky is full of shit. i don't want to be with him... nor do i have the intention of fooling around with him. i'm not looking to be with him, and i wasn't in the first place. i would rather be on an insland with a monkey... at least then, i would be more entertained. lol. so fuck him. not literally.
peace out
kristin marie