yesterday...today..and tomorrow..

Jun 04, 2004 13:55

So..it's summer time...I'm really looking forward to a lot of things this summer. The one that sticks out the most though is..I don't know who I am. Emeinem should change it to "The Real Sam Laurence"...because the real Sam Laurence needs to stand up...I'm going to be a junior in high school and after two full years of high school, I still feel confused and I'm not sure where I want to go and what I want to do. That's why I need to find myself. It seems like most people know who they are by the end of their sophomore year...but I don't. A lot of things my sophomore year changed me, and I think they changed me to where I don't know who I am anymore. I've learned a lot from those people who have changed me, and their attitude towards me wasn't the greatest and I sure hope my senior year won't be like that. I guess that's who they are..the typical high school kids...stuck up and think they're the shit. I wish I could go back to being "Me", the girl I was my freshman year, it seemed like I knew who I was then, where I wanted to go and what I wanted to do, I don't even know that girl anymore. She got lost over the summer, and over my sophomore year..it's like there's a wall blocking me from getting to that girl. I guess I'm not ready to be a junior..mentally. I still want to be that little freshman girl that doesn't know what's going on and is carefree with no worries, only if I could find her. Being a junior requires us to be aware of things, our grades, college applications, and trying to keep up with friendships. I think about what will happen after our high school days. When we come back for that 5 year class reunion...who got married to who, who is still friends with who, and if they are in college. I have a lot to do this summer and I feel better I get to "express" it to everyone who reads this. Things change. People change. Hopefully, they don't change for the worst.
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