The SAP:

[iloveeverything]

Yeah....I don't know. I think I detach myself from reality sometimes to such an extent that when I actually sit down to reacquaint myself with the real world and the concrete facts, I end up with a painful realization that I don't always see things the way they really are. I don't feel good. I feel like lately especially I might be living under false pretenses... I just want to be told the truth, I don't care if it's going to hurt. I also think that I wonder too much about things I shouldn't and that just leaves me worrying myself sick. This is very uncomfortable for me because I don't usually think like this and as much as I hate to give the possible satisfaction to those people who make me feel this way, I have to admit that it does causes me to feel very bad. I don't want to mention any specifics, obviously...it's just that if I'm not doing something I'll just end up thinking about it and inevitably going crazy. I noticed today how stubborn I am when it comes to warming back up to someone who has hurt me in the past. If you think this is about you, it probably is. I just really hate feeling rejected and/or pushed aside.

And my mom is moving to Florida to live with her new boyfriend. He's all I've been hearing about from her for the past month and a half. Cool, second best. wah wah wah I'm 18 and I still want my mommy to tell me I'm #1. eat shit.

-missy