(no subject)
yeaaah...so basically on christmas eve ben called me up and asked me to go to the ocean with him....we didnt go to the ocean, but we went out to eat and then hung out and he gave me back my keys, and told me that he felt empty without me...so for like a week we were good. but then sunday he decided to hang out with some girl all night....i found her livejournal...and i was worried about where he was. so then i got home from work on monday and he was home, and i was just like "where have you been?" and i told him i was worried...and he told me not to ask where he has been, that it is not my business...he said he was not my boyfriend, and blah blah blah....so then he left again that night. i stayed home, fell asleep. so then we hung out on tuesday night, he was acting really nice. but then tonight, he freaked out on my cause this girl he has been hanging out with called him and told him i emailed her, which i did...but not a mean email or anything, i just asked her if she had seen him cause i was hadnt seen him in 24 hours and i was worried. so yeah he flipped out on my and told me that he doesnt feel the same way about me as i do about him, that im crazy, that i want to ruin his life...and that he wants me out of his life...even though he has always told me that he doesnt want me out of his life andthat i am one of his favorite people. so i packed all my stuff...after fighting with him cause he was screaming at my and getting very hostile....so then my friend paala picked me up and creamy and we are staying at her place until i find an apartment. she has 2 male cats and creamy keeps fighting with them...god, i am so tired...ben is so different..things were good...i just wanted him to like me and not cheat on me. i just dont understand anything anymore...i need help. i miss my mommy.