TbF 23
Courtesy of the fabulous sussixer, I am now back on track; the 2 scenes I was having problems completing are completed and linked with the rest of the story, I have a random later on scene which has given me a direction in which to steer this fic. So it is her you have to thank for this latest update.
So thank you hun! *hugs
Title: Touched by Fire
Authour: Beloved
Pairing: Clark/Lex
Note: This fic would never have been continued had it not been for RogueSpike, greensloven, dianehc, bonnysprite and rose_etta, all of whom encouraged me - and all of whom deserve credit for more or less anything good in this, because they have written chunks of it!
They are absolute stars and wonderful people, and I thank God that I know them.
*squishy hugs*
Warning: Angst and self-harm!
Previous Part here: http://ilovedoyle.livejournal.com/291281.html
The blinding light settled to form a hovering figure. Jor-El, Lex determined by the familiar jaw line, sharp cheek bones and large eyes staring back at him. However, Lex was relieved at a significant difference; unlike the ocean-coloured eyes he so longed to drown in, these eyes were a dull, emotionless muddy brown. Clark must have gotten his eyes from his mother.
“Kal-El.” The voice boomed, echoing off the walls of the small space, cold and stern. It held none of the warmth that Clark’s soft timber did. Yet, it compelled one to listen. But Clark did not seem fazed.
“Jor-El.”
Lex was accustomed to hearing emotion overflow from Clark’s voice. Along with all the boy’s sheepish head ducking, and averting eyes, it was often the only means by which he was able to determine the truth behind his words. The sorrow behind the lies, that had so often slipped past his lush lips.
Now the voice he loved was empty of all emotions. Holding nothing, not sorrow, nor anger, hate or pain. It was a void of nothingness. His heart hurt at the sound, Clark should never sound that way. Lex moved to offer some comfort, anything to bring back his Clark.
“Be still, earthling.”
Against his will his limbs went rigid, stopping in mid motion. Even his lips refused to move, his eyes alone were allowed to move. They followed Clark as he jerked around.
“Lex!” He could not feel Clark’s hands frantically moving over him, attempting to undo what Jor-El had done, only watch.
“This is an unexpected visit, Kal-El.”
Whirling back towards his father, Clark shouted, with more hatred and fear than Lex had ever heard.
“What have you done??!!”
“What has brought you here, my son?”
“WHAT. HAVE. YOU. DONE???!!!”
“Unless you wish for him to remain thusly, I suggest you answer me.”
Lex watched as Clark snuffed his anger, replaced by a serene calm.
“I have been unwell.”
The image flickered, “This is not possible. You can not be harmed.”
Clark merely raised an eyebrow. Lex would have snorted if he could have.
“Nothing of Earth can harm you.” Jor-El corrected himself.
Lex watched as Clark shook his head and sighed. “Look at me.”
Clark took a few steps away, pulled off his shirt and held his arms out.
“What have you done to yourself?!” Jor-El almost sounded concerned.
“Long story short, I’ve been hurting myself, during the process I’ve lost my appetite, to such a degree that at times, the smell of food alone causes nausea.”
A narrow beam shot out from the ship and encased Clark. Lex’s heart skipped a beat. Only the rationale that Jor-El did not go to such extremes to save his one and only son to kill him now, stopped his need to fight against whatever invisible restraints were continuing to keep him immobile.
Simultaneously, the light around Clark disappeared and Lex was freed.
“Leave.” It was obvious who Jor-El meant, but Lex had been raised by Lionel, it would take a lot more to scare him off.
“I don’t intend to leave Clark.”
“You will have him leave if you wish for the purpose of your visit fulfilled.”
Clark’s pleading gaze stilled his protests; he followed him towards the stairs. “Are you sure?”
“I am, thank you Lex.”
Breaking out of character, he pulled Clark into a tight hug, “Don’t do anything stupidly heroic.”
“I won’t.”
Lex didn’t glance back even once as he made his way out, not wanting to give Jor-El the satisfaction.
******
“All right, Jor-El. He’s gone. Tell me.”
“I am your father, address me with more respect.”
“We’ve been over this. You are not my father, and respect should be earned. Please, if you care for me at all …”
Clark was beginning to feel the desperation of his situation. He was used to being in complete control and could not understand how he’d lost it all.
The image flickered again. If Clark didn’t know any better he could have sworn that the hologram was distressed.
“You have reached maturity.”
“Puberty? I’m eighteen -“
“I am not referring to what earthling’s equate to hormones. I speak of when Kryptonians come of age.”
“They become emotionally, mentally and spiritually crippled?” There was hysteria in the laugher that Clark’s question ended in.
“Compose yourself. Of course not. You have bonded. Given away a part of your eternal soul to a life mate, but you have not mated. You have not completed the bond. This has left you open to an unbalance of emotions.”
“I don’t understand.”
“We Kryptonians believe our souls to carry weight, that they anchor us to our bodies, mind, and hearts. They are our essence. When you reach maturity, when you find your mate, you share a part of your eternal soul with the one it has chosen. Your soul has chosen its mate, but a soul has not chosen you in kind. At least you have not completed the coupling that would cement this exchange. It has left you half empty. Not as strong in mind, body or spirit; weak and vulnerable to the emotions that lie dormant in your heart. You, my son, are ruled by your guilt and hurt induced by your entrance into this world, the lies you live by and the pain you have been forced to hand out in saving others. This is magnified a hundred fold now, and you have channelled it in the only way possible that would insure the safety of those around you.”
It was the longest and most civilized conversation Clark had shared with Jor-El, but the information he received made him miss the demanding, disagreeable version.
“What am I to do?”
“Copulate with your chosen one.”
“And if I can’t?”
“Why can you not?”
“Because he doesn’t want to?”
At the certainty in Clark’s voice, the hologram of Jor-El sighed. “If that is the case, you can give into the grief and let death eventually take you. Or, through time and surrounding yourself by positive reinforcements, coming to accept that you are not responsible for everything and everyone, you can bring the levels of torment under control. You will in short, be much like those of your world who are categorized as clinically depressed. Most days will be good, but some days will be ten times as bad.”
“Those are my only options?”
“Yes.”
“I suppose it could have been worse.”
Jor-El said nothing. He simply hovered. Clark let the words sink in. Nodding to himself, he finally looked into the eyes of the image that bore his biological father’s face. “Thank you.”
A flicker of surprise crossed features so like his own. “I do not wish you to die. Nor do I wish you unhappiness. Tell him. His response may not be as you assume.”
Then Jor-El was gone. The ships hum quieted by decibels before it went silent entirely.
*****
So thank you hun! *hugs
Title: Touched by Fire
Authour: Beloved
Pairing: Clark/Lex
Note: This fic would never have been continued had it not been for RogueSpike, greensloven, dianehc, bonnysprite and rose_etta, all of whom encouraged me - and all of whom deserve credit for more or less anything good in this, because they have written chunks of it!
They are absolute stars and wonderful people, and I thank God that I know them.
*squishy hugs*
Warning: Angst and self-harm!
Previous Part here: http://ilovedoyle.livejournal.com/291281.html
The blinding light settled to form a hovering figure. Jor-El, Lex determined by the familiar jaw line, sharp cheek bones and large eyes staring back at him. However, Lex was relieved at a significant difference; unlike the ocean-coloured eyes he so longed to drown in, these eyes were a dull, emotionless muddy brown. Clark must have gotten his eyes from his mother.
“Kal-El.” The voice boomed, echoing off the walls of the small space, cold and stern. It held none of the warmth that Clark’s soft timber did. Yet, it compelled one to listen. But Clark did not seem fazed.
“Jor-El.”
Lex was accustomed to hearing emotion overflow from Clark’s voice. Along with all the boy’s sheepish head ducking, and averting eyes, it was often the only means by which he was able to determine the truth behind his words. The sorrow behind the lies, that had so often slipped past his lush lips.
Now the voice he loved was empty of all emotions. Holding nothing, not sorrow, nor anger, hate or pain. It was a void of nothingness. His heart hurt at the sound, Clark should never sound that way. Lex moved to offer some comfort, anything to bring back his Clark.
“Be still, earthling.”
Against his will his limbs went rigid, stopping in mid motion. Even his lips refused to move, his eyes alone were allowed to move. They followed Clark as he jerked around.
“Lex!” He could not feel Clark’s hands frantically moving over him, attempting to undo what Jor-El had done, only watch.
“This is an unexpected visit, Kal-El.”
Whirling back towards his father, Clark shouted, with more hatred and fear than Lex had ever heard.
“What have you done??!!”
“What has brought you here, my son?”
“WHAT. HAVE. YOU. DONE???!!!”
“Unless you wish for him to remain thusly, I suggest you answer me.”
Lex watched as Clark snuffed his anger, replaced by a serene calm.
“I have been unwell.”
The image flickered, “This is not possible. You can not be harmed.”
Clark merely raised an eyebrow. Lex would have snorted if he could have.
“Nothing of Earth can harm you.” Jor-El corrected himself.
Lex watched as Clark shook his head and sighed. “Look at me.”
Clark took a few steps away, pulled off his shirt and held his arms out.
“What have you done to yourself?!” Jor-El almost sounded concerned.
“Long story short, I’ve been hurting myself, during the process I’ve lost my appetite, to such a degree that at times, the smell of food alone causes nausea.”
A narrow beam shot out from the ship and encased Clark. Lex’s heart skipped a beat. Only the rationale that Jor-El did not go to such extremes to save his one and only son to kill him now, stopped his need to fight against whatever invisible restraints were continuing to keep him immobile.
Simultaneously, the light around Clark disappeared and Lex was freed.
“Leave.” It was obvious who Jor-El meant, but Lex had been raised by Lionel, it would take a lot more to scare him off.
“I don’t intend to leave Clark.”
“You will have him leave if you wish for the purpose of your visit fulfilled.”
Clark’s pleading gaze stilled his protests; he followed him towards the stairs. “Are you sure?”
“I am, thank you Lex.”
Breaking out of character, he pulled Clark into a tight hug, “Don’t do anything stupidly heroic.”
“I won’t.”
Lex didn’t glance back even once as he made his way out, not wanting to give Jor-El the satisfaction.
******
“All right, Jor-El. He’s gone. Tell me.”
“I am your father, address me with more respect.”
“We’ve been over this. You are not my father, and respect should be earned. Please, if you care for me at all …”
Clark was beginning to feel the desperation of his situation. He was used to being in complete control and could not understand how he’d lost it all.
The image flickered again. If Clark didn’t know any better he could have sworn that the hologram was distressed.
“You have reached maturity.”
“Puberty? I’m eighteen -“
“I am not referring to what earthling’s equate to hormones. I speak of when Kryptonians come of age.”
“They become emotionally, mentally and spiritually crippled?” There was hysteria in the laugher that Clark’s question ended in.
“Compose yourself. Of course not. You have bonded. Given away a part of your eternal soul to a life mate, but you have not mated. You have not completed the bond. This has left you open to an unbalance of emotions.”
“I don’t understand.”
“We Kryptonians believe our souls to carry weight, that they anchor us to our bodies, mind, and hearts. They are our essence. When you reach maturity, when you find your mate, you share a part of your eternal soul with the one it has chosen. Your soul has chosen its mate, but a soul has not chosen you in kind. At least you have not completed the coupling that would cement this exchange. It has left you half empty. Not as strong in mind, body or spirit; weak and vulnerable to the emotions that lie dormant in your heart. You, my son, are ruled by your guilt and hurt induced by your entrance into this world, the lies you live by and the pain you have been forced to hand out in saving others. This is magnified a hundred fold now, and you have channelled it in the only way possible that would insure the safety of those around you.”
It was the longest and most civilized conversation Clark had shared with Jor-El, but the information he received made him miss the demanding, disagreeable version.
“What am I to do?”
“Copulate with your chosen one.”
“And if I can’t?”
“Why can you not?”
“Because he doesn’t want to?”
At the certainty in Clark’s voice, the hologram of Jor-El sighed. “If that is the case, you can give into the grief and let death eventually take you. Or, through time and surrounding yourself by positive reinforcements, coming to accept that you are not responsible for everything and everyone, you can bring the levels of torment under control. You will in short, be much like those of your world who are categorized as clinically depressed. Most days will be good, but some days will be ten times as bad.”
“Those are my only options?”
“Yes.”
“I suppose it could have been worse.”
Jor-El said nothing. He simply hovered. Clark let the words sink in. Nodding to himself, he finally looked into the eyes of the image that bore his biological father’s face. “Thank you.”
A flicker of surprise crossed features so like his own. “I do not wish you to die. Nor do I wish you unhappiness. Tell him. His response may not be as you assume.”
Then Jor-El was gone. The ships hum quieted by decibels before it went silent entirely.
*****