And by Wednesday, I can't sleep...
Well, today I didn't go to school. If anyone knows me, they know how I get with my period. And since I wasn't on my birth control for the past month, it hit hard. So I got to spend the day in bed. Which was relaxing. And all I was looking forward to was talking to Gavin.
He called me as soon as he got out of work. Which made my day.
We talked for a while, and just about random things.
Then he went out and did his thing.
We talked online while I was watching Ashlee.
But something occured where he said he didn't want to argue.
I'm just upset that we've been arguing all the time.
And about the stupid little things too.
It upsets me because I know we're better than that too.
I asked him if I should take my shower then call him ( have to call after 9)
And he got all blah and was like fine take you're shower I'll go to sleep.
I called him, and he didn't answer. That broke my day.
I called him an asshole online, and I signed off.
Something I'm really regretting right now.
But now I have to sit out, and wait till tomorrow to see where this goes.
I want to apologize now, so I don't have to spend the rest of tomorrow and the remaining time tonight upset.
All of my girls have school tomorrow, so I can't call them when I'm upset.
I mean they say I can, but I know they'd be angry if I called.
I'm feeling more alone than I should.
I'm going to call Cara. For the past few weeks she has been talking to me everynight. And I think it's great that our friendship has gotten so close again. Her and I are kinda in the same boat with SOME situations. I know what she's going through cause I went through it all. So I'm always happy to lend her advice. I want to call her. but she's prolly talking to her boyfriend or studying for her GED test. But hey, I'm in need, and I know she'll be there to listen.
So I'm going to go smoke my stog. Vent to Cara. And then write in the REAL journal.
"I find myself wrong again,
Staring out my window,
Wondering what it is,
I should have said.
I find myself at home again,
Waiting for the after call,
From a fall out,
That feels like,
Such a mess.
Oh, I can only be myself,
I'm sorry that's hell for you."
lend me.
He called me as soon as he got out of work. Which made my day.
We talked for a while, and just about random things.
Then he went out and did his thing.
We talked online while I was watching Ashlee.
But something occured where he said he didn't want to argue.
I'm just upset that we've been arguing all the time.
And about the stupid little things too.
It upsets me because I know we're better than that too.
I asked him if I should take my shower then call him ( have to call after 9)
And he got all blah and was like fine take you're shower I'll go to sleep.
I called him, and he didn't answer. That broke my day.
I called him an asshole online, and I signed off.
Something I'm really regretting right now.
But now I have to sit out, and wait till tomorrow to see where this goes.
I want to apologize now, so I don't have to spend the rest of tomorrow and the remaining time tonight upset.
All of my girls have school tomorrow, so I can't call them when I'm upset.
I mean they say I can, but I know they'd be angry if I called.
I'm feeling more alone than I should.
I'm going to call Cara. For the past few weeks she has been talking to me everynight. And I think it's great that our friendship has gotten so close again. Her and I are kinda in the same boat with SOME situations. I know what she's going through cause I went through it all. So I'm always happy to lend her advice. I want to call her. but she's prolly talking to her boyfriend or studying for her GED test. But hey, I'm in need, and I know she'll be there to listen.
So I'm going to go smoke my stog. Vent to Cara. And then write in the REAL journal.
"I find myself wrong again,
Staring out my window,
Wondering what it is,
I should have said.
I find myself at home again,
Waiting for the after call,
From a fall out,
That feels like,
Such a mess.
Oh, I can only be myself,
I'm sorry that's hell for you."
lend me.