baby hands can't hold this in
I've recently, within the past five hours to be precise, decided to try something. I'm not all too sure it is a healthy something, but chances are this experiment will turn out for the bast.
About a year ago I was in a very 2dimensional, withdrawn, and altogether very very unhappy place, to sugar coat it. There wasn't a whole lot going on upstairs and I was generally apathetic towards absolutely EVERYTHING, largely contributed to a wicked new combination of abandonment (which I've come to accept as irrational) and huge amounts of self pity. Had evolution sped up, my stomach would've probably turned into it's own coffee filter since that's mostly all I consumed. (not coffee filters.) Given the chance to confront 2008 Casey, I would do some hardcore rearranging of her face, make the girl a pot of tea and sober her up, probably pass her a bowl, and cuddle her back to happiness because when you've got no one else to lean on you've always got yourself.
During that winter though, I made some damn good art. Photography went on hiatus, but I was drawing ALL the time! Go figure.
Now I've got all these ideas jogging circles in my brain and I think, if I can get myself into the right coffee filter self-pitying state of mind for a few hours at a time, whenever I please, I'll be golden. Weird, but golden.
I'm glad I can talk bout this and be comfortable. I'm doing laundry at 2.55 in the morning and keep getting mega creeped out because something in either the washer or dryer is uneven and it's making really terrifying thudding sounds in the basement. Good thing I was raised to think my dad eats monster with ketchup. And we have PLENTY of ketchup.