I don't even know
so school starts the day after tomorrow. what fun. not. i really Don't want to go but hopefully since i'm gonna be a senior it wont be so bad. i'm seriously considering dropping spanish. its a waste of time, but since one of my other years in high school i took intro, it might not count for any good colleges. some people say intro does count, others say it doesnt. i donno, im confused. i dont even know where i want to go to school or anything. everyone already has like top 5 choices and i am so confused. an actress, thats what i wanna do. but its such a longgggggg shot and i dont even have a backup.
growing up sucks so bad. and i still have to sign up for the stupid SATS.
on a darker note, im sick again. its always this fucking throat thing. i dont know whats wrong with me. its not like i even have a cold or anything, i just feel weak and dont want to do anything, and tired, and then my throat burns. everything i eat/drink tastes bad b/c my throat burns so i dont want to eat. it sucks so bad. this thing hits me literally every 2 months. i donno if it has something to do with the fact that im a pescitarian or what. i mean, i always get checked for strep or mono and its none of that. i donno if my immune system is weak due to the fact that i dont eat real meat.. but what does that have to do with my throat? i'm so confused. the doctors don't even know whats wrong with me. they thought i was allergic to my cats or something, but turns out i wasnt. i dont know. i hate this. i hate not knowing whats wrong with me.
and i've thought so hard before about giving up being a pescitarian and just eating like, chicken or something. but i honestly dont think i can. it doesnt even look appealing to me, it wouldnt settle in my stomach just b/c i've given up real meat for the past 5 years. since 7th grade. i don't know. i'm so lost. and the guilt would also hit me hard. i dont know what im doing. i dont know whats wrong with me. Ugh. what do i do.
growing up sucks so bad. and i still have to sign up for the stupid SATS.
on a darker note, im sick again. its always this fucking throat thing. i dont know whats wrong with me. its not like i even have a cold or anything, i just feel weak and dont want to do anything, and tired, and then my throat burns. everything i eat/drink tastes bad b/c my throat burns so i dont want to eat. it sucks so bad. this thing hits me literally every 2 months. i donno if it has something to do with the fact that im a pescitarian or what. i mean, i always get checked for strep or mono and its none of that. i donno if my immune system is weak due to the fact that i dont eat real meat.. but what does that have to do with my throat? i'm so confused. the doctors don't even know whats wrong with me. they thought i was allergic to my cats or something, but turns out i wasnt. i dont know. i hate this. i hate not knowing whats wrong with me.
and i've thought so hard before about giving up being a pescitarian and just eating like, chicken or something. but i honestly dont think i can. it doesnt even look appealing to me, it wouldnt settle in my stomach just b/c i've given up real meat for the past 5 years. since 7th grade. i don't know. i'm so lost. and the guilt would also hit me hard. i dont know what im doing. i dont know whats wrong with me. Ugh. what do i do.