(no subject)
I give up. Why try anymore? I am not going to fight for someone's friendship when they don't want it.
Anyways, today, I went to my grandmothers house. I basically stayed in my room the whole time though, listening to Megadeth and Slayer. That was cool, I guess.... I don't know. I was bored. But I got a lot of thinking done.
Some random thoughts:
1. I used to say, love causes pain.. in the end, that's all it would ever do. One person always told me I was wrong, but I was so bitter and angry and hurt, I wouldn't listen. I was pissed- and that's all that mattered to me. I thought, if I hadn't fallen in love, I wouldn't have been so hurt, I thought I could be mad at that one person forever. But I was so wrong... love doesn't cause pain, not at all. Well one is truly in love, yes, they can get hurt, but the memories - in the end- will overcome the anger... the good memories will shine through brighter then the bad memories, or the pain, and will help you smile a little bit. Love brings smiles and happiness, not anger and depression. People say all the time, "Oh, I want to kill myself now, I'm so sad over *someones name*, I love them so much...", etc, but really, if you truly are in love, you would be like "I am so thankful I am friends with this person/I am glad I could be with them for the time I was, though I wish things could maybe be different.." Something like that. Love should make you try and see the bright side of things.
2. Just because I flirt with a lot of guys, just because I like having fun and being with a lot of different guys doesn't mean I should be called a slut. I used to consider myself a slut, but I am not. I just like flirting my ass off - that's it, I am a total flirt. No one has the right to call me a slut..... I have cheated on guys before, but this last relationship I didn't, so I am getting better. Even if I make out with a lot of people, random people, no one should think of me as a slut. I am NOT. I just like having fun. And really... I would probably just make out with a lot of different people, but I wouldn't do much more with just anyone. And to have sex with someone... well I have to care about them. There are only about three people I would consider sleeping with, one I already have, one I will never meet, and the other one doesn't even care about me, so really, I am NOT A SLUT!
3. I shouldn't take so much shit from people. I don't deserve it, I am better then that. If someone doesn't want to be friends with me, I should NOT keep begging for their friendship and taking a bunch of shit from them. I tried. And that's it, I am done trying. I don't like being called a whore. I don't like being called a slut. I don't like people being rude to me. I don't like people being assholes. So guess what? I'M DONE WITH IT.
...
Okay, I'm sorry about the rant. It's over with. <3333
Anyways, today, I went to my grandmothers house. I basically stayed in my room the whole time though, listening to Megadeth and Slayer. That was cool, I guess.... I don't know. I was bored. But I got a lot of thinking done.
Some random thoughts:
1. I used to say, love causes pain.. in the end, that's all it would ever do. One person always told me I was wrong, but I was so bitter and angry and hurt, I wouldn't listen. I was pissed- and that's all that mattered to me. I thought, if I hadn't fallen in love, I wouldn't have been so hurt, I thought I could be mad at that one person forever. But I was so wrong... love doesn't cause pain, not at all. Well one is truly in love, yes, they can get hurt, but the memories - in the end- will overcome the anger... the good memories will shine through brighter then the bad memories, or the pain, and will help you smile a little bit. Love brings smiles and happiness, not anger and depression. People say all the time, "Oh, I want to kill myself now, I'm so sad over *someones name*, I love them so much...", etc, but really, if you truly are in love, you would be like "I am so thankful I am friends with this person/I am glad I could be with them for the time I was, though I wish things could maybe be different.." Something like that. Love should make you try and see the bright side of things.
2. Just because I flirt with a lot of guys, just because I like having fun and being with a lot of different guys doesn't mean I should be called a slut. I used to consider myself a slut, but I am not. I just like flirting my ass off - that's it, I am a total flirt. No one has the right to call me a slut..... I have cheated on guys before, but this last relationship I didn't, so I am getting better. Even if I make out with a lot of people, random people, no one should think of me as a slut. I am NOT. I just like having fun. And really... I would probably just make out with a lot of different people, but I wouldn't do much more with just anyone. And to have sex with someone... well I have to care about them. There are only about three people I would consider sleeping with, one I already have, one I will never meet, and the other one doesn't even care about me, so really, I am NOT A SLUT!
3. I shouldn't take so much shit from people. I don't deserve it, I am better then that. If someone doesn't want to be friends with me, I should NOT keep begging for their friendship and taking a bunch of shit from them. I tried. And that's it, I am done trying. I don't like being called a whore. I don't like being called a slut. I don't like people being rude to me. I don't like people being assholes. So guess what? I'M DONE WITH IT.
...
Okay, I'm sorry about the rant. It's over with. <3333