[J1W] Dream
[Dean = jstliketherifle, Sam = likely_evil, Agent 99 = failuretotrust. Castiel is not binding on any muse. Set in the new Sam/99 verse.]
She felt him before she saw him.
It was the subtle shiver down her spine, an involuntary flinch without the word Christo even having been said. Opposites attracted, they found each other in the mess that was the world, in the mix of powers and power struggles, and Ruby wasn’t dead yet. That was probably the fact that surprised her the most. An angel had her, alone for the most part, and hadn’t taken the opportunity to smite and destroy yet. Her eyes scanned slightly, looking around the mostly empty bar for the one that might be the angel, and tightening her fingers around the knife on her hip. It wouldn’t do her very much good, but at least it was a start.
It was about a year and a half after Dean kicked. She had spent the first six getting Sam up to par to actually take the bitch, and about three after that trying to track her down. By the end February, Lilith was dead in a big way, and Ruby was out on her ass for not doing as Sam wanted. Though, when what Sam wanted was to die, Ruby figured she was better off being out on her ass than hanging around, trying to get Sam to take her back. She wasn’t going to help Sam commit suicide. That just wasn’t on the agenda. If he waned to be dead so badly, he could do it himself. She’d been on her own for about nine months now, and for the most part, demons were either stupid and tried to challenge her, or they were smart and left her alone. The stupid ones ended up dead, and maybe some of the smarter ones too, if she was feeling pissy enough, but for the most part, she was a girl without a purpose. She’d gotten what she wanted. Now she had an eternity to figure out where to go from here, and to be honest, she wasn’t all that motivated. There was one thing she was sure of though. She wasn’t looking for death by angel.
He was rather unsuspecting looking, but that was what was deceiving. When he sat down in front of her, in his trench coat and slacks, she wanted to laugh. Because everything about him was giving off the scary ‘I can kill you without even blinking’ vibes, and yet, if an average every day person was looking at him, they’d think he was just some poor CPA, having a drink after a long day at work. Ruby, however, was relatively certain he was going to kill her.
“Hello, Ruby.”
And he knew her name. This was never a good sign. Her eyes slid black involuntarily, kind of like a cat puffing up to try and intimidate their opponent, but compared to the angel sitting in front of her, she was a baby kitten who couldn’t even open her eyes yet.
“I’d return the favor, but I don’t really know who I’m speaking to,” she said with a snort as the black faded, and she reached forward for the beer in front of her, trying to be nonchalant, but knowing that she was failing miserably.
“My name is Castiel.”
“Nice to meet you,” Ruby said with a sigh. “Always like to know the name of the guy who’s going to try and kill me.”
That was when the meeting started to get a little weird. Because the angel looked confused. Honest to God confused. Which in turn made Ruby confused and a little unsettled, because she was expecting a quick and fiery death here.
“I’m not here to kill you.”
“Oh, so you’re here to ask me to the prom? Hate to break it to you, big boy, but I’m already taken.” She snorted slightly, before shaking her head. “I’m a demon. You’re an angel. If you’re not here to kill me, then what do you want?” She hated when things didn’t go like they were supposed to, because that-in turn-usually meant very bad things for her.
“We have orders for you.”
Ruby flat out choked on her beer. It took her a few minutes to compose herself, before she started laughing. Laughing. Because she could have sworn that the angel said he had orders for her. Which was absolutely ridiculous in and of itself. “Excuse me?”
“We have orders for you,” Castiel repeated, the confused look remaining in place on his face.
“I’m a demon,” Ruby repeated, because the guy just wasn’t seeming to get the message.
“But your loyalties don’t seem to be to Hell’s side,” Castiel said slowly. “We were watching the work that you did with Sam Winchester and Lilith. We want to offer you the opportunity to continue with that good work.”
“Uh-huh,” Ruby said, now studying the angel with an almost academic interest. “You know, I have contacts I could talk to about you-find out if you’re on the level. You could get into a bit of a trouble with some of the higher ranks for approaching me like this.”
Castiel’s mouth pressed into a thin line, before responding. “These orders come from Heaven. We’re not afraid of whatever demonic retaliation may come because of them.”
Ruby paused again for a moment, still not sure what the angel was getting at, but willing to give it a shot anyway. “So what’s in it for me?”
“I’m sorry.”
“Oh, don’t tell me you didn’t come in here with a bargaining chip,” Ruby smirked slightly. “I may not like most of my fellow species, but I’ve still got some self-respect. This is like making a deal with the Devil here. What do I get if I go through with this?”
Castiel paused for a moment, before responding carefully. “Redemption.”
At that, Ruby’s face softened slightly, a more curious look crossing her face. “Seriously?”
“We don’t throw this offer around lightly, Ruby,” Castiel said firmly. “And we understand that accepting these orders are not going to make things easy for you. We’re going to make it worth your while.”
Ruby considered this for a moment. Death or redemption-either way, things were starting to look pretty good on her end. She looked back at him for a moment, then nodded. What did she have to lose? “So what are these orders anyway?”
“When the time comes, you’ll know.”
At that, she shot up a bit. “Hey, whoa, whoa, whoa-you’re recruiting me on some holy mission and you’re not even going to tell me what the hell it is?” She glared back at the angel, demanding an answer, but not getting one right away. “That’s not fair.”
A bang went off from some far end of the bar, and her head snapped to it on instinct, looking for the source of the sound, and by the time she turned back, Castiel was gone, leaving her in an empty booth with nothing but her beer and the knowledge that she had probably just done something very, very stupid.
“Fucking angels.”
***
Six months after that, Ruby’s sitting in a demon bar somewhere in the middle of Nebraska when she hears a whispers that Dean Winchester was pulled from Hell. Previous to that, any mention of Dean was one more of fear, than curiosity. He was doing some serious work down in the Pit, and frankly, as far as Ruby was concerned, it would be best for all parties considered if he would stay there. But this talk now was more-panicked. Almost as though this wasn’t part of the grand plan. Like he wasn’t a demon.
Ruby spun around forcefully injecting herself into the conversation. “What do you mean, he was pulled from the Pit?”
“Why the fuck should I tell you, bitch?” one of them replied, glaring back at her. Ruby, in turn, reached for her knife then gestured down to the two dead bodies that she had placed in front of her booth, indicating that she didn’t want to be disturbed. The demon looked slightly worried for a moment, before responding. “Apparently the big boys upstairs decided that Dean was too good to be a demon, or something. Came in some time in the last few days and just pulled him right out. Word on the street is that he’s human again.”
It took Ruby a minute to put two and two together. And when she did, it was incredibly obvious what her job was. “Son of a bitch.”
“You know Ruby, you’d think you’d be happier. With you being the Winchesters’ bitch and all.”
Ruby turned back to him with a glare, before muttering. “Shut up.” After that, it was a quick slice and dice and the two demons were too busy bleeding out all over the furniture. She didn’t want that rumor going any further than it had to, though she had a feeling that this was very much easier said than done.
It took her two weeks to track Dean down, and by the time she did, she was surprised that the guy was still standing. Especially since he was currently being double teamed by two very nasty customers. Dean took a hard blow to the stomach and doubled over on the ground before Ruby got there, and took care of business. It took both bodies dropping to the ground before Dean actually looked up at her, eyes wide with fear.
“Look, please-I don’t want any trouble.”
“Relax, Dean-I’m here to help.” She started to reach for his arm and he jerked away from her, his body practically shaking he was so scared. She sighed slightly, raising an arm to rub against her forehead, before looking around. There were other demons coming, and they needed to leave. “Look, short bus, we don’t have time for this, alright? We gotta go. Now.”
His eyes drifted from the knife in her hand to her face, but something clicked in that twisted brain of his, and he frowned, confusion this time instead of fear. “Ruby?”
“Wow. You’re not as stupid as you look. Shocker.” She reached for his arm again, and this time he took it, letting her help him to his feet and brace his weight on her shoulders as she moved them towards one of the cars in the parking lot. She found the one that wasn’t locked, dropped Dean in the passenger’s seat, then jumpstarted the car and got them the hell out of there, driving as far away from that town as they could.
Dean was quiet for most of the drive, and it wasn’t until they were far enough away that he turned back to her, still clearly confused. “Why are you helping me?”
Ruby paused for a minute, glancing back at him. “Because I was asked to by someone who scares me a lot more than the demons who want you dead do.” Which was saying something in and of itself. Dean just studied her for a moment, before nodding, and turning his eyes back to the window. He was quiet again for a while, before curling more into himself.
“Why is this happening to me?”
Ruby snorted quietly, before shaking her head. “Dean, I wish I knew.”
***
Dean Winchester was broken.
Almost beyond repair-if Ruby didn’t know better, she’d say that he was an impossible case. Two hundred forty years of Hell all crammed in and forced on a human soul-no one could handle that kind of guilt. Especially with the rumors going around of just what exactly Dean had been up to down there. No wonder every demon within fifty miles wanted him dead-he’d torn a lot of them apart. But anyone who tried to make a move never got very far-usually coming to a short stop at the end of Ruby’s knife.
They slept in churches for the first few weeks, considering that was where Dean would be the safest, and that Ruby had a high enough paygrade to walk on holy ground. It wasn’t exactly fun, considering that you know-it was still holy ground and she was still a demon, but at least it didn’t feel like she was burning from the inside out. However, she wouldn’t exactly call it sleeping either. She didn’t sleep-it just wasn’t needed-but Dean didn’t because he couldn’t. Every time he did, it was never more than a few hours before he’d wake up screaming, drenched in a cold sweat, muttering about the things he’d done. Things that when she tried and ask, he would just clam up on her, not say a word, but he clung to her like a scared child-something the old Dean would have never done, but apparently, the new one saw her as some kind of safety net.
Ruby did what she could. She held him together as best she could. She knew that she couldn’t take him to Sam like this-it would kill Sam to see his brother this broken. So she just kept them moving, kept them safe, and hoped that somewhere down the line, Dean wouldn’t remember what his brother had meant to him.
They had just walked into St. Michael’s, a small church somewhere in the vicinity of Iowa, when she felt it again. The subtle shiver of an angel’s presence. Her eyes flickered back immediately, and Dean’s grip tightened on her arm, sensing that she was on edge. “What is it?” he demanded, and she didn’t respond, didn’t relax, until she saw Castiel rise from somewhere in the pews, looking at them both expectantly.
“Hello, Dean.”
Dean looked to Ruby, and she nodded, signaling that it was okay. “He’s a friend,” she explained, though friend wasn’t exactly the term she’d use. It made sense, though, to him, and he nodded, before looking back at him.
“Who are you?”
“My name is Castiel. I’m an angel of the Lord.”
Dean looked back to Ruby again, and she nodded, gesturing that it was okay for him to move closer. “An-an angel?”
Castiel nodded slowly. “I’m the one who gripped you tight and raised you from perdition.”
Dean frowned slightly, his eyes darting back and forth as his mind raced, trying to figure out how this made sense. “I don’t-I don’t understand. Why me?”
“Because we have work for you, Dean.” He paused, only for a moment, before moving closer to Dean slowly. “You have suffered much. Rest now.” Then there were two fingers to young man’s forehead, and Dean slumped forward against him, Castiel catching him around the waist as he dropped into a deep sleep.
Ruby jerked slightly when she saw Dean collapse, on instinct, but she trusted Castiel not to have gone through all the trouble of bringing Dean back, only to kill him again. She watched as the angel moved Dean over to one of the pews, placing him down on the wood gently, before turning back to Ruby.
“We need to talk.”
“What else is new?” Ruby replied, still looking rather worriedly in Dean’s direction. “What did you-”
“He should sleep through the night,” Castiel replied. “No nightmares.”
“Oh,” Ruby shifted slightly. She was getting to the point where she’d been ready to use witch craft to get him a decent night’s sleep, but if Castiel was going to do it his way, that was a bit better. “Good. Because you really did a bang-up job bringing this guy back, by the way.”
“What do you mean by that?”
“Look, I don’t know what you want Dean for, but I can almost guarantee you that he’s not going to be able to do it. He’s too far gone. You waited too long.”
“I wouldn’t write him off yet.”
“Look, Castiel, I get that you work for the big man upstairs, but let me tell you what I know. I know that he was in Hell for two years? In Hell time, that’s more like two hundred and forty. No one lasts that long and still holds onto themselves. He has to make peace with what he did down there, and he can’t. It’s too much for a human soul to handle.”
“His soul is strong. He just needs to find faith,” Castiel replied. “He needs you to help him find it.”
“You’re asking a demon to help Dean Winchester find God. You’re aware of how twisted that sounds, right?”
“Not God, Ruby. Faith.” He paused for a minute to let the word sink in. “There’s a difference.”
“Yeah,” Ruby sighed, rubbing her forehead lightly as she did. She had no idea what he was getting at, but she figured that, like all things with angels, she would figure it out when the time came. “Whatever.”
Castiel just looked at her for a moment, before sighing slightly. If angels could sigh. “This place should be safe for the night. Get some rest as well, Ruby.” And then he was gone again, a flutter of wings and light, and she was more confused than she was before.
But then again, with angels she was starting to learn that that was par for the course.
***
It was about six months into their time together that Dean started asking about Sam. Where he was, if he was okay-Ruby deflected the questions as best she could, but the more Dean started to feel like himself, the more insistent he was that she answer his questions with more than just a simple “He’s fine.” It took some time, but eventually she told him about Lilith, what went down there, and them moving on.
“You two were together, weren’t you?” Dean said to her, as their first year together was coming to a close. “And I mean that in the gross, dirty way.”
Ruby rolled her eyes slightly. “I gave Sam what he needed to keep him going. That was it.”
“Right.” Dean snorted slightly, before leaning back in the bed, wincing as she started to stitch up his side. They’d graduated from churches to motel rooms somewhere along the way, but the room itself was still heavily warded, with salt lines and hex bags to keep them hidden, not wanting to attract any kind of trouble that they couldn’t handle. Any demon that actually managed to recognize Dean met a very ugly death at the end of Ruby’s knife. They both wanted to keep his sudden rebirth as quiet as possible-they just saw the people he cared about as being safer that way. “Alright, you axed Lilith. Then what?”
“We split after a while,” Ruby sighed. She wasn’t going to go into the circumstances because telling Dean just how suicidal his brother was wasn’t going to help him keep the frame of mind he was currently holding. Truth be told, this was the longest Dean had been completely sane, and she wanted him to stay that way. There were still small cracks, but for the most part, he was holding together, which was better than nothing at all. “Last I heard he was in DC, working with that girl you were seeing for a while-Beth, I guess her name is?”
It took Dean a moment to place the name, his brain ciphering through the memories until he found the one he wanted, the one that made sense. Then he nodding slowly, biting back a slight cry as the needle dug into a particularly sore spot. “Right. Beth. Of course.”
Ruby ignored the cry as she continued to work, finishing stitching and cleaning the wound, before pulling back from him and going to wash her hands. When she came back, Dean was sitting up, looking at her with big eyes. “I want to see him, Ruby.”
“Dean,” she began, her face softening slightly. “I don’t know if that’s a good idea-”
“He’s my brother. He thinks I’m dead,” Dean said with a sigh, and the silent I need him rested on the top of his tongue. He didn’t have to say it, Ruby knew it was there. She sighed heavily, before nodding.
“Fine. We’ll swing around to DC. But I still think this is a bad idea.”
“Yeah, well-you usually do.” He paused for a minute, looking down at his lap. She knew the question was coming, and he hated it. Because he hated asking her for help when it wasn’t in an ass-kicking variety, still-even after a year. He hated admitting that he had a weakness, and he knew as well as she did that he needed to feel the weight of the things he’d done. But he knew he needed to sleep too. “Help me sleep? I don’t want to show up there looking like a raccoon.”
Ruby paused for a minute, before nodding. “I’ll get the stuff.” Funny that he’d still pick drugs over witchcraft. But at least it was something.
“And Ruby?”
“Yeah, short bus?”
He snorted slightly at the nickname before turning back to face her seriously. “Thanks.” She could sense that there was more to the word than just drugging him to help him sleep, so she didn’t say the smart ass remark she had planned, and just nodded.
“What I’m here for, Dean.”
***
She left Dean alone to deal with Sam his way, because she knew it would just make things easier. It was bad enough he’d kept him from Dean for a year, Sam didn’t need their history being thrown in with whatever he had with Beth. So she disappeared, leaving him across the street from their apartment building and going to get something to eat. When she returned an hour later, however, cheese fries smothered in ketchup in hand, Dean hadn’t moved, and was staring at the apartment complex across the street like someone inside it had repossessed his puppy. Not stolen, mind you-stolen would imply that there was something he could get back. Dean was definitely looking like he’d lost something in an irrevocable way, which was leaving Ruby a bit confused.
“You talk to Sam?”
Dean paused slightly, glancing over at her, before shaking his head. She raised an eyebrow in response, and he sighed, running a hand over his face. “He’s happy, Ruby. He’s got the whole white picket fence life he’s always dreamed about. I can’t take that away from him now.” He paused, his eyes dropping to the ground. “I’m only gonna get him killed.”
Ruby nodded slowly, before tossing him the car keys. “C’mon-you’re driving.”
“You’re letting me drive?” Dean said, before giving her a grin. “Awww, Ruby-you feel bad, don’t you?”
“Well, I could sit around and watch you mope for a few hours, but I figured it might be easier if I just let you drive and be done with it.”
Dean smirked at her, before making his way over to the car and heading for the driver’s seat. He glanced back at the apartment complex, before looking over at Ruby again. “I’m doing the right thing, right?” His voice was so much more hesitant than it had been just a few minutes earlier, and Ruby looked back at him, before nodding slowly.
“Yeah, Dean-you’re doing the right thing.”
He looked down again, before nodding as he reached for the door. “Good.”
3879 words
She felt him before she saw him.
It was the subtle shiver down her spine, an involuntary flinch without the word Christo even having been said. Opposites attracted, they found each other in the mess that was the world, in the mix of powers and power struggles, and Ruby wasn’t dead yet. That was probably the fact that surprised her the most. An angel had her, alone for the most part, and hadn’t taken the opportunity to smite and destroy yet. Her eyes scanned slightly, looking around the mostly empty bar for the one that might be the angel, and tightening her fingers around the knife on her hip. It wouldn’t do her very much good, but at least it was a start.
It was about a year and a half after Dean kicked. She had spent the first six getting Sam up to par to actually take the bitch, and about three after that trying to track her down. By the end February, Lilith was dead in a big way, and Ruby was out on her ass for not doing as Sam wanted. Though, when what Sam wanted was to die, Ruby figured she was better off being out on her ass than hanging around, trying to get Sam to take her back. She wasn’t going to help Sam commit suicide. That just wasn’t on the agenda. If he waned to be dead so badly, he could do it himself. She’d been on her own for about nine months now, and for the most part, demons were either stupid and tried to challenge her, or they were smart and left her alone. The stupid ones ended up dead, and maybe some of the smarter ones too, if she was feeling pissy enough, but for the most part, she was a girl without a purpose. She’d gotten what she wanted. Now she had an eternity to figure out where to go from here, and to be honest, she wasn’t all that motivated. There was one thing she was sure of though. She wasn’t looking for death by angel.
He was rather unsuspecting looking, but that was what was deceiving. When he sat down in front of her, in his trench coat and slacks, she wanted to laugh. Because everything about him was giving off the scary ‘I can kill you without even blinking’ vibes, and yet, if an average every day person was looking at him, they’d think he was just some poor CPA, having a drink after a long day at work. Ruby, however, was relatively certain he was going to kill her.
“Hello, Ruby.”
And he knew her name. This was never a good sign. Her eyes slid black involuntarily, kind of like a cat puffing up to try and intimidate their opponent, but compared to the angel sitting in front of her, she was a baby kitten who couldn’t even open her eyes yet.
“I’d return the favor, but I don’t really know who I’m speaking to,” she said with a snort as the black faded, and she reached forward for the beer in front of her, trying to be nonchalant, but knowing that she was failing miserably.
“My name is Castiel.”
“Nice to meet you,” Ruby said with a sigh. “Always like to know the name of the guy who’s going to try and kill me.”
That was when the meeting started to get a little weird. Because the angel looked confused. Honest to God confused. Which in turn made Ruby confused and a little unsettled, because she was expecting a quick and fiery death here.
“I’m not here to kill you.”
“Oh, so you’re here to ask me to the prom? Hate to break it to you, big boy, but I’m already taken.” She snorted slightly, before shaking her head. “I’m a demon. You’re an angel. If you’re not here to kill me, then what do you want?” She hated when things didn’t go like they were supposed to, because that-in turn-usually meant very bad things for her.
“We have orders for you.”
Ruby flat out choked on her beer. It took her a few minutes to compose herself, before she started laughing. Laughing. Because she could have sworn that the angel said he had orders for her. Which was absolutely ridiculous in and of itself. “Excuse me?”
“We have orders for you,” Castiel repeated, the confused look remaining in place on his face.
“I’m a demon,” Ruby repeated, because the guy just wasn’t seeming to get the message.
“But your loyalties don’t seem to be to Hell’s side,” Castiel said slowly. “We were watching the work that you did with Sam Winchester and Lilith. We want to offer you the opportunity to continue with that good work.”
“Uh-huh,” Ruby said, now studying the angel with an almost academic interest. “You know, I have contacts I could talk to about you-find out if you’re on the level. You could get into a bit of a trouble with some of the higher ranks for approaching me like this.”
Castiel’s mouth pressed into a thin line, before responding. “These orders come from Heaven. We’re not afraid of whatever demonic retaliation may come because of them.”
Ruby paused again for a moment, still not sure what the angel was getting at, but willing to give it a shot anyway. “So what’s in it for me?”
“I’m sorry.”
“Oh, don’t tell me you didn’t come in here with a bargaining chip,” Ruby smirked slightly. “I may not like most of my fellow species, but I’ve still got some self-respect. This is like making a deal with the Devil here. What do I get if I go through with this?”
Castiel paused for a moment, before responding carefully. “Redemption.”
At that, Ruby’s face softened slightly, a more curious look crossing her face. “Seriously?”
“We don’t throw this offer around lightly, Ruby,” Castiel said firmly. “And we understand that accepting these orders are not going to make things easy for you. We’re going to make it worth your while.”
Ruby considered this for a moment. Death or redemption-either way, things were starting to look pretty good on her end. She looked back at him for a moment, then nodded. What did she have to lose? “So what are these orders anyway?”
“When the time comes, you’ll know.”
At that, she shot up a bit. “Hey, whoa, whoa, whoa-you’re recruiting me on some holy mission and you’re not even going to tell me what the hell it is?” She glared back at the angel, demanding an answer, but not getting one right away. “That’s not fair.”
A bang went off from some far end of the bar, and her head snapped to it on instinct, looking for the source of the sound, and by the time she turned back, Castiel was gone, leaving her in an empty booth with nothing but her beer and the knowledge that she had probably just done something very, very stupid.
“Fucking angels.”
***
Six months after that, Ruby’s sitting in a demon bar somewhere in the middle of Nebraska when she hears a whispers that Dean Winchester was pulled from Hell. Previous to that, any mention of Dean was one more of fear, than curiosity. He was doing some serious work down in the Pit, and frankly, as far as Ruby was concerned, it would be best for all parties considered if he would stay there. But this talk now was more-panicked. Almost as though this wasn’t part of the grand plan. Like he wasn’t a demon.
Ruby spun around forcefully injecting herself into the conversation. “What do you mean, he was pulled from the Pit?”
“Why the fuck should I tell you, bitch?” one of them replied, glaring back at her. Ruby, in turn, reached for her knife then gestured down to the two dead bodies that she had placed in front of her booth, indicating that she didn’t want to be disturbed. The demon looked slightly worried for a moment, before responding. “Apparently the big boys upstairs decided that Dean was too good to be a demon, or something. Came in some time in the last few days and just pulled him right out. Word on the street is that he’s human again.”
It took Ruby a minute to put two and two together. And when she did, it was incredibly obvious what her job was. “Son of a bitch.”
“You know Ruby, you’d think you’d be happier. With you being the Winchesters’ bitch and all.”
Ruby turned back to him with a glare, before muttering. “Shut up.” After that, it was a quick slice and dice and the two demons were too busy bleeding out all over the furniture. She didn’t want that rumor going any further than it had to, though she had a feeling that this was very much easier said than done.
It took her two weeks to track Dean down, and by the time she did, she was surprised that the guy was still standing. Especially since he was currently being double teamed by two very nasty customers. Dean took a hard blow to the stomach and doubled over on the ground before Ruby got there, and took care of business. It took both bodies dropping to the ground before Dean actually looked up at her, eyes wide with fear.
“Look, please-I don’t want any trouble.”
“Relax, Dean-I’m here to help.” She started to reach for his arm and he jerked away from her, his body practically shaking he was so scared. She sighed slightly, raising an arm to rub against her forehead, before looking around. There were other demons coming, and they needed to leave. “Look, short bus, we don’t have time for this, alright? We gotta go. Now.”
His eyes drifted from the knife in her hand to her face, but something clicked in that twisted brain of his, and he frowned, confusion this time instead of fear. “Ruby?”
“Wow. You’re not as stupid as you look. Shocker.” She reached for his arm again, and this time he took it, letting her help him to his feet and brace his weight on her shoulders as she moved them towards one of the cars in the parking lot. She found the one that wasn’t locked, dropped Dean in the passenger’s seat, then jumpstarted the car and got them the hell out of there, driving as far away from that town as they could.
Dean was quiet for most of the drive, and it wasn’t until they were far enough away that he turned back to her, still clearly confused. “Why are you helping me?”
Ruby paused for a minute, glancing back at him. “Because I was asked to by someone who scares me a lot more than the demons who want you dead do.” Which was saying something in and of itself. Dean just studied her for a moment, before nodding, and turning his eyes back to the window. He was quiet again for a while, before curling more into himself.
“Why is this happening to me?”
Ruby snorted quietly, before shaking her head. “Dean, I wish I knew.”
***
Dean Winchester was broken.
Almost beyond repair-if Ruby didn’t know better, she’d say that he was an impossible case. Two hundred forty years of Hell all crammed in and forced on a human soul-no one could handle that kind of guilt. Especially with the rumors going around of just what exactly Dean had been up to down there. No wonder every demon within fifty miles wanted him dead-he’d torn a lot of them apart. But anyone who tried to make a move never got very far-usually coming to a short stop at the end of Ruby’s knife.
They slept in churches for the first few weeks, considering that was where Dean would be the safest, and that Ruby had a high enough paygrade to walk on holy ground. It wasn’t exactly fun, considering that you know-it was still holy ground and she was still a demon, but at least it didn’t feel like she was burning from the inside out. However, she wouldn’t exactly call it sleeping either. She didn’t sleep-it just wasn’t needed-but Dean didn’t because he couldn’t. Every time he did, it was never more than a few hours before he’d wake up screaming, drenched in a cold sweat, muttering about the things he’d done. Things that when she tried and ask, he would just clam up on her, not say a word, but he clung to her like a scared child-something the old Dean would have never done, but apparently, the new one saw her as some kind of safety net.
Ruby did what she could. She held him together as best she could. She knew that she couldn’t take him to Sam like this-it would kill Sam to see his brother this broken. So she just kept them moving, kept them safe, and hoped that somewhere down the line, Dean wouldn’t remember what his brother had meant to him.
They had just walked into St. Michael’s, a small church somewhere in the vicinity of Iowa, when she felt it again. The subtle shiver of an angel’s presence. Her eyes flickered back immediately, and Dean’s grip tightened on her arm, sensing that she was on edge. “What is it?” he demanded, and she didn’t respond, didn’t relax, until she saw Castiel rise from somewhere in the pews, looking at them both expectantly.
“Hello, Dean.”
Dean looked to Ruby, and she nodded, signaling that it was okay. “He’s a friend,” she explained, though friend wasn’t exactly the term she’d use. It made sense, though, to him, and he nodded, before looking back at him.
“Who are you?”
“My name is Castiel. I’m an angel of the Lord.”
Dean looked back to Ruby again, and she nodded, gesturing that it was okay for him to move closer. “An-an angel?”
Castiel nodded slowly. “I’m the one who gripped you tight and raised you from perdition.”
Dean frowned slightly, his eyes darting back and forth as his mind raced, trying to figure out how this made sense. “I don’t-I don’t understand. Why me?”
“Because we have work for you, Dean.” He paused, only for a moment, before moving closer to Dean slowly. “You have suffered much. Rest now.” Then there were two fingers to young man’s forehead, and Dean slumped forward against him, Castiel catching him around the waist as he dropped into a deep sleep.
Ruby jerked slightly when she saw Dean collapse, on instinct, but she trusted Castiel not to have gone through all the trouble of bringing Dean back, only to kill him again. She watched as the angel moved Dean over to one of the pews, placing him down on the wood gently, before turning back to Ruby.
“We need to talk.”
“What else is new?” Ruby replied, still looking rather worriedly in Dean’s direction. “What did you-”
“He should sleep through the night,” Castiel replied. “No nightmares.”
“Oh,” Ruby shifted slightly. She was getting to the point where she’d been ready to use witch craft to get him a decent night’s sleep, but if Castiel was going to do it his way, that was a bit better. “Good. Because you really did a bang-up job bringing this guy back, by the way.”
“What do you mean by that?”
“Look, I don’t know what you want Dean for, but I can almost guarantee you that he’s not going to be able to do it. He’s too far gone. You waited too long.”
“I wouldn’t write him off yet.”
“Look, Castiel, I get that you work for the big man upstairs, but let me tell you what I know. I know that he was in Hell for two years? In Hell time, that’s more like two hundred and forty. No one lasts that long and still holds onto themselves. He has to make peace with what he did down there, and he can’t. It’s too much for a human soul to handle.”
“His soul is strong. He just needs to find faith,” Castiel replied. “He needs you to help him find it.”
“You’re asking a demon to help Dean Winchester find God. You’re aware of how twisted that sounds, right?”
“Not God, Ruby. Faith.” He paused for a minute to let the word sink in. “There’s a difference.”
“Yeah,” Ruby sighed, rubbing her forehead lightly as she did. She had no idea what he was getting at, but she figured that, like all things with angels, she would figure it out when the time came. “Whatever.”
Castiel just looked at her for a moment, before sighing slightly. If angels could sigh. “This place should be safe for the night. Get some rest as well, Ruby.” And then he was gone again, a flutter of wings and light, and she was more confused than she was before.
But then again, with angels she was starting to learn that that was par for the course.
***
It was about six months into their time together that Dean started asking about Sam. Where he was, if he was okay-Ruby deflected the questions as best she could, but the more Dean started to feel like himself, the more insistent he was that she answer his questions with more than just a simple “He’s fine.” It took some time, but eventually she told him about Lilith, what went down there, and them moving on.
“You two were together, weren’t you?” Dean said to her, as their first year together was coming to a close. “And I mean that in the gross, dirty way.”
Ruby rolled her eyes slightly. “I gave Sam what he needed to keep him going. That was it.”
“Right.” Dean snorted slightly, before leaning back in the bed, wincing as she started to stitch up his side. They’d graduated from churches to motel rooms somewhere along the way, but the room itself was still heavily warded, with salt lines and hex bags to keep them hidden, not wanting to attract any kind of trouble that they couldn’t handle. Any demon that actually managed to recognize Dean met a very ugly death at the end of Ruby’s knife. They both wanted to keep his sudden rebirth as quiet as possible-they just saw the people he cared about as being safer that way. “Alright, you axed Lilith. Then what?”
“We split after a while,” Ruby sighed. She wasn’t going to go into the circumstances because telling Dean just how suicidal his brother was wasn’t going to help him keep the frame of mind he was currently holding. Truth be told, this was the longest Dean had been completely sane, and she wanted him to stay that way. There were still small cracks, but for the most part, he was holding together, which was better than nothing at all. “Last I heard he was in DC, working with that girl you were seeing for a while-Beth, I guess her name is?”
It took Dean a moment to place the name, his brain ciphering through the memories until he found the one he wanted, the one that made sense. Then he nodding slowly, biting back a slight cry as the needle dug into a particularly sore spot. “Right. Beth. Of course.”
Ruby ignored the cry as she continued to work, finishing stitching and cleaning the wound, before pulling back from him and going to wash her hands. When she came back, Dean was sitting up, looking at her with big eyes. “I want to see him, Ruby.”
“Dean,” she began, her face softening slightly. “I don’t know if that’s a good idea-”
“He’s my brother. He thinks I’m dead,” Dean said with a sigh, and the silent I need him rested on the top of his tongue. He didn’t have to say it, Ruby knew it was there. She sighed heavily, before nodding.
“Fine. We’ll swing around to DC. But I still think this is a bad idea.”
“Yeah, well-you usually do.” He paused for a minute, looking down at his lap. She knew the question was coming, and he hated it. Because he hated asking her for help when it wasn’t in an ass-kicking variety, still-even after a year. He hated admitting that he had a weakness, and he knew as well as she did that he needed to feel the weight of the things he’d done. But he knew he needed to sleep too. “Help me sleep? I don’t want to show up there looking like a raccoon.”
Ruby paused for a minute, before nodding. “I’ll get the stuff.” Funny that he’d still pick drugs over witchcraft. But at least it was something.
“And Ruby?”
“Yeah, short bus?”
He snorted slightly at the nickname before turning back to face her seriously. “Thanks.” She could sense that there was more to the word than just drugging him to help him sleep, so she didn’t say the smart ass remark she had planned, and just nodded.
“What I’m here for, Dean.”
***
She left Dean alone to deal with Sam his way, because she knew it would just make things easier. It was bad enough he’d kept him from Dean for a year, Sam didn’t need their history being thrown in with whatever he had with Beth. So she disappeared, leaving him across the street from their apartment building and going to get something to eat. When she returned an hour later, however, cheese fries smothered in ketchup in hand, Dean hadn’t moved, and was staring at the apartment complex across the street like someone inside it had repossessed his puppy. Not stolen, mind you-stolen would imply that there was something he could get back. Dean was definitely looking like he’d lost something in an irrevocable way, which was leaving Ruby a bit confused.
“You talk to Sam?”
Dean paused slightly, glancing over at her, before shaking his head. She raised an eyebrow in response, and he sighed, running a hand over his face. “He’s happy, Ruby. He’s got the whole white picket fence life he’s always dreamed about. I can’t take that away from him now.” He paused, his eyes dropping to the ground. “I’m only gonna get him killed.”
Ruby nodded slowly, before tossing him the car keys. “C’mon-you’re driving.”
“You’re letting me drive?” Dean said, before giving her a grin. “Awww, Ruby-you feel bad, don’t you?”
“Well, I could sit around and watch you mope for a few hours, but I figured it might be easier if I just let you drive and be done with it.”
Dean smirked at her, before making his way over to the car and heading for the driver’s seat. He glanced back at the apartment complex, before looking over at Ruby again. “I’m doing the right thing, right?” His voice was so much more hesitant than it had been just a few minutes earlier, and Ruby looked back at him, before nodding slowly.
“Yeah, Dean-you’re doing the right thing.”
He looked down again, before nodding as he reached for the door. “Good.”
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