The lack of Days in my Life
Well, well. of course this small room could truly be called the epitome of my life. How apathetic, that must sound, but right now my frustration can cover up any concern I might have for sounding apathetic. The situation I am in is nothing unusual but in a place that is so unique that it is perfect for a first time release, my situation hasn't changed. I am still stuck in a goddamn room.
All my life being the youngest and only girl in my family has made me feel like a stranger to any kind of freedom. Maybe that's why I've tried so hard to fight against becoming more of a typical female. all these years my parents have allowed my older brothers so many chances, and excepted every mistake they have made, and they are always rewarded with another chance, something they have never given me.
Every day I have sat inside my house and watched boys of all ages leave standing tall and proud because they have the option to leave. They have the option to be alone and carry an adventure with their own two hands. Here I am, the only child in my family, who has never been caught doing something wrong, and yet my parents won't give me the freedom they so easily pass to my undeserving brothers. I am glad that my brothers have had such eventful lives and have those options, and although I sound bitter, my bitterness isn't meant for them. I'm glad they have gotten the opportuneities that I have only dreamed of. I only wish that I could share the same fortune.
I have never been lucky enough to be given the option to go out on my own or make my own mistakes. So even though they worked on moving my brother into his new dorm, here in Olympia, I was at home studying how to walk to some places I would like to venture without them. In what seems like a perfectly polite and safe town, that is small enough to not get lost in, I am confident I can navigate my way through with little help. Because I studied that map for the same five hours they stayed in this room that I am now stuck in, I have the upper hand, and yet I still don't have the option of making my first mistake.
So it seems my destiny is for rooms instead of the outside real world that I know my parents try to protect me from. Until the day I am eighteen I will probably never leave the house alone, or a t least not for long. My parents will keep me in this controlled environment built out of wood and plaster. I almost hope, just to spite them, that the day I turn eighteen I walk out of the house on my first adventure, my lack of experience will lead my into the wrong place at the wrong time, and I hope that my parents can cry and feel the guilt for not letting my out to explore even the bunny hill here in Olympia. I hope one day their mistake will bite them, even if it means biting me first.
All my life being the youngest and only girl in my family has made me feel like a stranger to any kind of freedom. Maybe that's why I've tried so hard to fight against becoming more of a typical female. all these years my parents have allowed my older brothers so many chances, and excepted every mistake they have made, and they are always rewarded with another chance, something they have never given me.
Every day I have sat inside my house and watched boys of all ages leave standing tall and proud because they have the option to leave. They have the option to be alone and carry an adventure with their own two hands. Here I am, the only child in my family, who has never been caught doing something wrong, and yet my parents won't give me the freedom they so easily pass to my undeserving brothers. I am glad that my brothers have had such eventful lives and have those options, and although I sound bitter, my bitterness isn't meant for them. I'm glad they have gotten the opportuneities that I have only dreamed of. I only wish that I could share the same fortune.
I have never been lucky enough to be given the option to go out on my own or make my own mistakes. So even though they worked on moving my brother into his new dorm, here in Olympia, I was at home studying how to walk to some places I would like to venture without them. In what seems like a perfectly polite and safe town, that is small enough to not get lost in, I am confident I can navigate my way through with little help. Because I studied that map for the same five hours they stayed in this room that I am now stuck in, I have the upper hand, and yet I still don't have the option of making my first mistake.
So it seems my destiny is for rooms instead of the outside real world that I know my parents try to protect me from. Until the day I am eighteen I will probably never leave the house alone, or a t least not for long. My parents will keep me in this controlled environment built out of wood and plaster. I almost hope, just to spite them, that the day I turn eighteen I walk out of the house on my first adventure, my lack of experience will lead my into the wrong place at the wrong time, and I hope that my parents can cry and feel the guilt for not letting my out to explore even the bunny hill here in Olympia. I hope one day their mistake will bite them, even if it means biting me first.