a night of the past and present.
I sat there. A glow cast upon my face from the luminous computer screen. I had given up on TV. It was always hopeless to find something good on. I had decided to find some good music videos before I left again for Kiawah Island with my family.
I had just gotten back from a camp. A church camp. Most powerful camp I had ever been to. It renewed my faith as I felt God’s presence like never before. Now, I had a battle to face. Boredom, and missing my new friends from all over the two states of Kentucky and Indiana.
My parents were stressing me, as well as my brothers. My dad’s voice drowned over the beautiful music of Nirvana, telling me to bring down my suit case, which I wasn’t finished packing.
I used all my power to keep a “fuck you” from slipping from my lips. That’s all I wanted to do. Just scream “ fuck you!” to all of them, and live at camp. The closets thing I’d ever get to my dream world of oblivion. No television means no News stations bringing you bad news. No shit from the out side world that brought drama. Deep moments. Safety. No worries. Sobriety. Fun. Friends. But the best part was defiantly the separation from the real world. Nothing mattered there except for God and fun.
Now I would be swept away from my “home” and pushed into another world. A vacation world, filled with boring and stressful family moments. Just what I didn’t need.
A fake kiss was planted on my forehead, accompanied by my father telling me to go to sleep in thirty minutes. “Defiantly” was the response said out loud. “Suurrrreee. That’s gunna happen” was the real response in my head.
School was coming up. In less than a month, I was told, but I would just shove that thought out of my head, since a sick feeling in my stomach appeared every time it was mentioned or thought about.
I had run into my ex previously at the mall that day with my friends. He had gained weight, and I had lost it. I looked like shit still though because I didn’t get time to re-dye my hair or do a good job on my make up. Turns out, my prayers had been answered. He was going to high school with me.
Most people wouldn’t be happy about this, but I think we’ve moved on from that awkward stage that most people never move out of. We had known each other since we could remember. Spending time in school and cub scouts, even though I was a girl and wasn’t a real scout.. That’s a whole different story though.
I had had a crush on him in the first grade and had kept in touch over the years we didn’t have classes together. Reuniting in the fifth grade, and dating for almost two months. We had broken it off though. To tell you the truth, I had forgot I was dating him, so it was best. It had been three years with out him, considering we went to different schools, and only ran into each other once or twice a year.
I was glad. I might get to catch up on our lost relationship. We were one of those couples that might separate or fight, or something, but would always end up friends, no matter what happened.
He was a good guy. Trustable. Nice. Smart. Cool. Kinda dorky, but funny. Not amazingly goofy like Bert McCracken from The Used or Michael, a guy I liked and went to camp with, but he still managed to make me laugh.
Now it might seem that I had a crush on him, but I only did twice, and those times are eight and four years past.
I sat up late that night. Thinking, reading, writing, talking, promising, playing guitar, dreaming, and looking. The hours passed by, and the morning came, as I threw my bible into my bag and layed down in my bed. Here comes a new adventure, that I might regret….
I had just gotten back from a camp. A church camp. Most powerful camp I had ever been to. It renewed my faith as I felt God’s presence like never before. Now, I had a battle to face. Boredom, and missing my new friends from all over the two states of Kentucky and Indiana.
My parents were stressing me, as well as my brothers. My dad’s voice drowned over the beautiful music of Nirvana, telling me to bring down my suit case, which I wasn’t finished packing.
I used all my power to keep a “fuck you” from slipping from my lips. That’s all I wanted to do. Just scream “ fuck you!” to all of them, and live at camp. The closets thing I’d ever get to my dream world of oblivion. No television means no News stations bringing you bad news. No shit from the out side world that brought drama. Deep moments. Safety. No worries. Sobriety. Fun. Friends. But the best part was defiantly the separation from the real world. Nothing mattered there except for God and fun.
Now I would be swept away from my “home” and pushed into another world. A vacation world, filled with boring and stressful family moments. Just what I didn’t need.
A fake kiss was planted on my forehead, accompanied by my father telling me to go to sleep in thirty minutes. “Defiantly” was the response said out loud. “Suurrrreee. That’s gunna happen” was the real response in my head.
School was coming up. In less than a month, I was told, but I would just shove that thought out of my head, since a sick feeling in my stomach appeared every time it was mentioned or thought about.
I had run into my ex previously at the mall that day with my friends. He had gained weight, and I had lost it. I looked like shit still though because I didn’t get time to re-dye my hair or do a good job on my make up. Turns out, my prayers had been answered. He was going to high school with me.
Most people wouldn’t be happy about this, but I think we’ve moved on from that awkward stage that most people never move out of. We had known each other since we could remember. Spending time in school and cub scouts, even though I was a girl and wasn’t a real scout.. That’s a whole different story though.
I had had a crush on him in the first grade and had kept in touch over the years we didn’t have classes together. Reuniting in the fifth grade, and dating for almost two months. We had broken it off though. To tell you the truth, I had forgot I was dating him, so it was best. It had been three years with out him, considering we went to different schools, and only ran into each other once or twice a year.
I was glad. I might get to catch up on our lost relationship. We were one of those couples that might separate or fight, or something, but would always end up friends, no matter what happened.
He was a good guy. Trustable. Nice. Smart. Cool. Kinda dorky, but funny. Not amazingly goofy like Bert McCracken from The Used or Michael, a guy I liked and went to camp with, but he still managed to make me laugh.
Now it might seem that I had a crush on him, but I only did twice, and those times are eight and four years past.
I sat up late that night. Thinking, reading, writing, talking, promising, playing guitar, dreaming, and looking. The hours passed by, and the morning came, as I threw my bible into my bag and layed down in my bed. Here comes a new adventure, that I might regret….