ninety-six tears, crycrycry
While I write my grizzly bear paper in the UGL, slightly panicking because the geography lab doesn’t seem to be open and my project is due tomorrow and whywon’tanybodyemailmebackaboutthis, I find myself distracted. Somebody on the bus was talking about what their day would be like if everybody was replaced by celebrities, so kind of going off of that, here’s this:
I would like to be woken up in the morning by Adam Brody, because male or female, straight or gay, young or old, you must admit that he’s adorable and would be a pleasant sight to wake up to. I would brush my teeth and wash my face while being serenaded by Jamie Lidell (in real life, change this to Kristofer), which would get me happy and pumped for my day. Jamie Oliver Dave Lieberman would have breakfast cooked up for me in the kitchen, and we’d enjoy the delicious meal with sunshine coming through the windows. George Clooney* would pick me up in the Batmobile and take me to school, dropping me off close to the desired building, and not at the stupid bus circle. On the drive over, he would sing Soggy Bottom Boys songs to me (even though it wasn’t his voice, shut up). Once in class, I would see that Harrison Ford was my professor for the class, inspiring me to write on my eyelids, a la Indiana Jones. My fellow classmates would be the gang from Freaks and Geeks, and all sorts of funny lines and snarky comments would be made. Oh, education! Oh, James Franco! Dave would show up again around lunch time, with something delicious in hand, and would join Steve Martin and I in the meal, where we would discuss Steve’s new film, Picasso at the Lapin Agile. When I showed up to work at Java City Empire Records, there would naturally be a hoard of wacky things going on and 90’s music being played. After BatClooney dropped me off at my apartment, where suddenly my two Indian roommates have been replaced with puppies, I would play video games with Vince Vaughn a la Swingers. A slew of hip young celebrities would join Kara and I in a meal cooked by Dave, followed by a small but happening dance party. The music would be performed by David Bowie. After a late-night snack, bearded Matt Sharp would sing me to sleep.
The End.
*I am well aware that Clooney was not the best Batman
I would like to be woken up in the morning by Adam Brody, because male or female, straight or gay, young or old, you must admit that he’s adorable and would be a pleasant sight to wake up to. I would brush my teeth and wash my face while being serenaded by Jamie Lidell (in real life, change this to Kristofer), which would get me happy and pumped for my day. Jamie Oliver Dave Lieberman would have breakfast cooked up for me in the kitchen, and we’d enjoy the delicious meal with sunshine coming through the windows. George Clooney* would pick me up in the Batmobile and take me to school, dropping me off close to the desired building, and not at the stupid bus circle. On the drive over, he would sing Soggy Bottom Boys songs to me (even though it wasn’t his voice, shut up). Once in class, I would see that Harrison Ford was my professor for the class, inspiring me to write on my eyelids, a la Indiana Jones. My fellow classmates would be the gang from Freaks and Geeks, and all sorts of funny lines and snarky comments would be made. Oh, education! Oh, James Franco! Dave would show up again around lunch time, with something delicious in hand, and would join Steve Martin and I in the meal, where we would discuss Steve’s new film, Picasso at the Lapin Agile. When I showed up to work at Java City Empire Records, there would naturally be a hoard of wacky things going on and 90’s music being played. After BatClooney dropped me off at my apartment, where suddenly my two Indian roommates have been replaced with puppies, I would play video games with Vince Vaughn a la Swingers. A slew of hip young celebrities would join Kara and I in a meal cooked by Dave, followed by a small but happening dance party. The music would be performed by David Bowie. After a late-night snack, bearded Matt Sharp would sing me to sleep.
The End.
*I am well aware that Clooney was not the best Batman