The Green Opal Affair (Act III)...
When we last saw Napoleon, he was staring rather, um, vacantly at us, courtesy of a blow dart from one of Brach’s minions. Let us join him, and see how he is recuperating…
280
We rejoin Napoleon as he awakens from his poison-induced stupor...
Napoleon: Oh, my aching head!
Me: Yeah, synthetic curare will do that to you every time!
Poor guy!
281
282
Chris comes over to Napoleon and places a cool cloth on his forehead. "Oh, yeah," he sighs in relief. "I feel like I fell on a cactus." Huh? That seems an odd way to describe it. Chris informs him that one of the Indians shot him with a dart.
283
284
285
"How did I react?" Napoleon asks. "Like a robot," she tells him. "Did he ask me any questions?"
286
287
288
"No," she responds. "Well, that comes later, I guess."
289
290
291
"What are we going to do?" Chris asks as she rises and moves to the veranda railing. Napoleon joins her and says, "Well, about the only thing we can do, I guess. Wait."
292
293
294
"I keep telling myself that this is all a terrible nightmare, and I'm gonna wake up in my own house and everything'll be just fine."
295
296
"Chris, let's, uh, try to figure out what happened to you," Napoleon prompts. "I don't know," she declares vehemently. "Well, the last thing that you said that you remembered was shopping in the local supermarket in Bethesda, Maryland, right?"
297
298
"That's right. I was planning a trip to New York to see... to see my mother." Napoleon, of course, notices her hesitation, but says nothing immediately. Chris continues, "I wanted to make sure there was enough food in the house for David."
299
Now, Napoleon presses gently. "Was there any particular reason why you were going to see your mother?" Chris takes a deep breath and admits, "Yes, I was leaving my husband."
300
301
302
"Oh. Why?" Chris snaps, "I don't think that's any of your business!" She starts to stalk away, but Napoleon gives her a reality check with, "Chris, if we spend any time arguing here, there's a very good possibility that they may take away our heads and never give them back."
303
304
Chris apologizes, and opens up to Napoleon. She tells him it was to be a trial separation, so she could think things over. She and David were married just four years ago, while he was a graduate student at MIT. He has since become a space engineer with a prestigious engineering firm in Washington.
305
306
"Well, was he in an important position?" Napoleon asks, looking for the angle to explain her kidnapping. "David?" she replies, rather incredulously. "No. I'm afraid not, Mr. Solo.
307
308
309
"You see," she continues, "David is a very sad case. He's a borderline genius in science. If he ever really tried, he could be one of the most important men in Washington. The whole world, for that matter." Chris walks slowly along the veranda as she speaks...
310
311
312
313
... and Napoleon trails after her, listening without interrupting, as she goes on. "Except in David's strange little world, ambition is a dirty word. I love him very much. I just can't live with a man, and watch him slowly destroy himself and a wonderful career."
314
315
"Does he want to get out of the profession?" asks Napoleon. "Yes," she answers. "I think he'd rather be a Little League umpire than Albert Einstein."
316
Napoleon notes the approach of Chuke (formerly known as 'the big guy') and quips, "Well, I see that the cruise social director is announcing games on the main deck." Calmly, he leads the way, and Chris quietly follows.
317
318
319
"Tell me, Chukie, what's a nice ghoul like you doing in a place like this?" Ah, that suave Solo humor, lol.
320
321
"Well, good afternoon, Mr. Solo," Brach greets him. "I trust you enjoyed your rest." "Yes, as a matter of fact, I did," Napoleon politely replies. "With the help of your... tranquilizer, thank you." "You're welcome," returns Brach, not to be out-polited (to coin a phrase). "Are we about to have a guided tour of your chamber of horrors?" inquires Napoleon. Brach chuckles and responds in the affirmative.
322
323
"No doubt the questions in your mind are 'what', 'why' and 'how'. Well, shall we clear away the puzzlement?" "Yes, as a matter of fact, that would be very kind." So Brach, wheeled by Chukie, begins the tour.
324
325
326
They pause in front of a room of sorts, though with the 'fourth wall' being of glass so that they can see inside, and Brach begins his obligatory maniacal villain exposition. "Now then, this is where our subjects are oriented during the two days that they are missing.
327
328
329
"What you people in U.N.C.L.E. call, I believe, a 'cover'." Napoleon and Chris see a man within, furiously scribbling on racing forms and placing bets at a mocked up betting window; all this while he is examined by Brach's doctor, but with no indication the man is aware of anything or anyone other than his imagined binge betting.
330
331
"He's obviously been conditioned," notes Napoleon. Indeed he has, and the man, a technician at a company called Neutron Force, will be back at his job in a couple of days, his gambling compulsion conditioned out of him, now ready to rise through the ranks quickly, to a point where Brach can make use of him.
332
333
...
334
"How did you manage to slip up with Tenley?" asks Napoleon. "Oh, we didn't slip up with Tenley, Mr. Solo," Brach contests. "Mr. Tenley was simply the bait. You're the catch.
335
336
"Tenley was conditioned to break down at a prearranged moment, to provide U.N.C.L.E. with provocative clues. So that you, Mr. Solo, would swallow that bait." Ooh, devious plan! Devious, and successful, at least so far.
337
338
339
Brach leads the way to the next orientation room. Within is a young Nigerian who is expected to rise high in his government; he is being conditioned to have a 'fine, subconscious hatred of beloved England'.
340
Napoleon finds nothing to say in response to the foulness of this plot.
341
342
They are then guided to observe one last subject, a Polish officer who is being conditioned to believe he has been captured and interrogated by American Intelligence, but has told them nothing. The plan is for him to 'escape' and return to Warsaw, where he will be promoted.
343
344
"So you see, Mr. Solo, each one has been chosen with an eye to intelligence, fitness, and above all, ambition. When one of them reaches a specified career level, he'll suddenly discover in himself an unshakeable loyalty to a certain organization."
345
346
347
"And would that be... Thrush?" Napoleon asks, knowing already the answer. Which is good, because Brach doesn't deign to reply.
348
349
350
Napoleon nods and explains to Chris, "Thrush is an organization that believes the world should have a two party system: the masters and the slaves.
351
352
353
"Wouldn't you say that was right, Mr. Brach?" "Very nicely put, Mr. Solo," Brach admits.
354
Napoleon continues. "And Dr. Schtallmacher here is in charge of the... brainwashing." "No!" Schtallmacher instantly denies forcefully. "No! Something more... delicate, more precise! Brain alteration. It's my own method, involving exact resectioning of nerve patterns."
355
356
Napoleon smiles a mirthless smile. "How's that for ambition, Chris?" Properly chastised for her own ambition, she spits, "Horrible."
357
358
"Neither horrible or painful, my dear," the doctor disagrees. "I've undergone the operation myself!" Brach expounds, "Everyone in this house except me has been operated upon." Indeed? It appears so, but Napoleon notes Dr. Schtallmacher turns to give Brach's numerologist, Mrs. Karda, a lingering look.
359
360
The doctor proudly continues to extol the virtues of his procedure. "There is absolutely no pain, no scarring, no external bleeding. My technique has nothing -" Brach interrupts him, saying, "After all, these people won't remember either you or your operation."
361
362
363
Brach directs Chuke to wheel him back for a glass of some noxiously healthy substance from Mrs. Karda, and Chris asks in utter confusion, "Why did you choose me? I'm just an ordinary housewife. I can't even drive a car without an automatic shift!" No one answers her, and she finally shrieks, "Well, what do you want me for?!"
364
"Oh, give her something to calm her nerves, Mrs. Karda," snaps Brach. As the woman moves toward Chris, shaking a large handful of pills into her palm, Chris panics and tries to flee. Thus giving Napoleon the opening he's been on the alert for!
365
366
He races to the fence which surrounds the compound and begins to vault over it... only to be stopped by the force of the powerful surge of electricity coursing through the metal, and now, his body!
367
368
In agony, he slumps to the ground, unconscious. Brach, a grinning Chuke, a subdued Chris and the others gather around Napoleon's still form. "Why can't he move?" Chris gasps. "Oh, don't be alarmed, Mrs. Brinel," Brach assures her. "The voltage is regulated only to punish him a bit.
369
370
"You know, Napoleon Solo is an ingenious choice on the part of Thrush. Someday, he'll become, undoubtedly, top director for all sections of U.N.C.L.E., and Thrush."