(no subject)
its interesting to think about what everything really means.
i'm a tell a story.
my roomate, ian, has a friend, we'll call s.
they're really, really close. she's his best friend's sister, and, at least reciently, his girlfriend(ish. its complicated to the point where i cant begin to comprehend it)
s is 18 years old, and was diagnosed with breast cancer last week.
let's put it like this: it hasnt been going well.
she was scheduled to go into surgury on thursday (today, well, yesterday) but she ended up needing to go in on tuesday. or monday. i forget.
skip ahead to about 1/2 hour ago.
s. calls ian up, finds out that she had an alergic rxn to the post-operative pain killers she was on.
and they find more growth.
he finds this out as another one of my buddies who lives on the other side of the wall (about 8 in away from ian's bed) is having quite possibly the best sex of his life. i mean, me and ian were sitting in here, laughing, cause we could hear the girl he was with moaning and whatnot.
talk about fucked up.
and i really dont know what to make of it. i mean, one would think that shit like this happening would force you into some profound intellectual and spiritual discovery. but it hasnt.
its really wierd.
i mean, im not any sort of religous man. hell, im not even sure that i believe in God, or if he really exists or not. and shit like this happening, well, i dont even know what it does.
it makes me think about everything ive done in my life, and everything that's happened to me, between junior year, to my uncle, to not going to church, to doing alot of things.
i dunno.
but i felt somthing that i haven't felt in a very, very long time tonight.
the desire to talk with a priest. to go to church. to pray.
i was outside with ian, just kinda hanging around the corner, making sure he didnt do anything stupid (cause he just had this horrible news dropped on his lap, and he's absolutely drunk as fuck), and i started crying. weeping.
it was the strangest thing that's ever happened to me.
it wasnt that i was crying because i was in any pain, physical or emotional.
i cried for s. i cried for her parents. i cried for ian, and for everyone i'd ever met.
i suppose it's going to sound very strange, coming from me (the psudo-atheistic bastard), but i have a request for anyone who reads this entry.
pray for her. pray for her to have the stregnth to beat it. pray for her parents, pray for ian.
even if you dont pray, send some positive energy twards her. or somthing.
i dont know, man. its really scary to realise that this shit can happen to someone who youre really close with.
where i'm going with this,i have no idea.
and i appologise for any run- on sentences and spelling errors i've made in this entry. but it is 3am.
ive been sitting for ten minutes, trying to figure out what to say next, but ive drawn a blank.
so, thats it.
ps: rxn (for those who dont know) is chemical shorthand for reaction. and please, dont feel sorry for me, becuae im not going through anything. direct your sympathy and empathy and any other sort of -athys twards s., her family and ian. i really appreciate it
i'm a tell a story.
my roomate, ian, has a friend, we'll call s.
they're really, really close. she's his best friend's sister, and, at least reciently, his girlfriend(ish. its complicated to the point where i cant begin to comprehend it)
s is 18 years old, and was diagnosed with breast cancer last week.
let's put it like this: it hasnt been going well.
she was scheduled to go into surgury on thursday (today, well, yesterday) but she ended up needing to go in on tuesday. or monday. i forget.
skip ahead to about 1/2 hour ago.
s. calls ian up, finds out that she had an alergic rxn to the post-operative pain killers she was on.
and they find more growth.
he finds this out as another one of my buddies who lives on the other side of the wall (about 8 in away from ian's bed) is having quite possibly the best sex of his life. i mean, me and ian were sitting in here, laughing, cause we could hear the girl he was with moaning and whatnot.
talk about fucked up.
and i really dont know what to make of it. i mean, one would think that shit like this happening would force you into some profound intellectual and spiritual discovery. but it hasnt.
its really wierd.
i mean, im not any sort of religous man. hell, im not even sure that i believe in God, or if he really exists or not. and shit like this happening, well, i dont even know what it does.
it makes me think about everything ive done in my life, and everything that's happened to me, between junior year, to my uncle, to not going to church, to doing alot of things.
i dunno.
but i felt somthing that i haven't felt in a very, very long time tonight.
the desire to talk with a priest. to go to church. to pray.
i was outside with ian, just kinda hanging around the corner, making sure he didnt do anything stupid (cause he just had this horrible news dropped on his lap, and he's absolutely drunk as fuck), and i started crying. weeping.
it was the strangest thing that's ever happened to me.
it wasnt that i was crying because i was in any pain, physical or emotional.
i cried for s. i cried for her parents. i cried for ian, and for everyone i'd ever met.
i suppose it's going to sound very strange, coming from me (the psudo-atheistic bastard), but i have a request for anyone who reads this entry.
pray for her. pray for her to have the stregnth to beat it. pray for her parents, pray for ian.
even if you dont pray, send some positive energy twards her. or somthing.
i dont know, man. its really scary to realise that this shit can happen to someone who youre really close with.
where i'm going with this,i have no idea.
and i appologise for any run- on sentences and spelling errors i've made in this entry. but it is 3am.
ive been sitting for ten minutes, trying to figure out what to say next, but ive drawn a blank.
so, thats it.
ps: rxn (for those who dont know) is chemical shorthand for reaction. and please, dont feel sorry for me, becuae im not going through anything. direct your sympathy and empathy and any other sort of -athys twards s., her family and ian. i really appreciate it