Denial. And I ain't talking about the river in Egypt
Hello, dahlings. The time has come for me to dish about yesterday. I was going to write last night, but I was frankly too busy having fun. Here is what it looked like. Saturday night, Heather got here. We watched TWW, Stockard's Inside the Actor's Studio (and laughed at how fucking smart Stockard is..."Bachanellian," "Dionysian," and the way she says "That's hot," and "orgasmic." Why is she so fucking cool?) some OOP, Six Degrees of Separation, and gay porn lmfao. Really, really bad gay porn. It was the most hilarious, most disgusting thing I have ever watched. There's me and Heather, sitting on my couch drinking wine coolers, eating popcorn, and watching Snowbound in Manhattan. "
Excerpt from gay porn:
Gay Guy #1: Hmm. The phone doesn't work. Oh, no.
Gay Guy #2: That's okay. You can stay here with us for the night.
Gay Guy #1: Well, I guess that'd be okay.
Gay Guy #3: We were just jacking off. Would you like to join us?
Gay Guy #1 *pause*: Why the hell not?
*threesome ensues*
So fucking awesome. Anyway. We didn't get to sleep until around 4am and we had to wake up at 9am, so that was fun. Amanda arrived at 10 and we all got ready. We left at 11, and the first upset of the day was: the Drag Queen Graphic Sex Mix CDs that I made wouldn't work in Heather's car, no idea why. So that was fucking sucky. We ended up jamming to oldschool Alanis Morisette. We got into Philly, had a fight with the parking attendant about backing in and the possibility of a trap door, and beholded the Prince Theatre on Chesnut Street. *sigh* Also, the amount of gay people hanging around was enormous (and fantastic). We checked out the theatre, picked up our tickets, and then set off to walk around Philly. Philly happens to be one of the lamest cities on earth where there's nothing to do. First stop: Starbucks. We ended up sitting there for about a hour just chatting. Then we decided to leave, and we ended up at Cosi for lunch. Where we also sat for about an hour just chatting. Finally we left, went to Tower Records for about a freakin' hour. Then...and only then...did we go to the greatest furniture store on earth. I don't technically know what it's called, but you know what it said in the window? Tipper Gore. Inside. Now. So, naturally, we went inside now. We surmised that Tipper now has her own furniture line. There were copies of An Inconvenient Truth all over the place. It was sexy. Finally we left, when the store employees started looking at us funny.
The show! At 4pm, we went into the theatre. We got great seats in maybe the fourth or fifth row. It was a huuuuge theatre. Second disappointment: Chloe Sevigny didn't show. Fucking whore. She was supposed to be at both shows, but apparently she booked out after last night's show. I could kill her. Thanks a lot, Chloe freakin' Sevigny. Just for that, I am going to continue pronouncing your name wrong, just out of spite! Our friend bartender at the theatre, who gave me free candy, said he talked to her last night and she was "Okay. She was Hollywood." And I asked if she was snobby and he said "Yeah, kinda." Now, onto the show itself.
Well. Let's see. We supposedly saw the director's cut, though you couldn't really tell. Okay, I'll just describe the film first before I start analyzing it.
The film was split into three sections, like three separate short films. The first one was the one set in China, with Lucy Liu. It was interesting, hardly any dialogue, but the plot was severely lacking. It was very difficult to understand what was going on. Most disturbing scene: Lucy Liu delivering her own baby while crouching in a field of rice and biting the umbilical cord off herself. *shudders*
The third one was set in South Africa with Chloe Sevigny (*spits*), Sandra Oh, and Olympia Dukakis. Again, this section was a little hard to understanding, but not because the plot was lacking but because the plot needed a lot more time to fully develop. I'm gonna have nightmares for the rest of my life about Olympia Dukakis being raped. WTF?! That was seriously disturbing. Sandra Oh was amusing, she was kind of comic relief. Chloe was really good, but I'm still mad at her for stiffing us.
The second one. Ahhhhhh, the second one. *grins* Set in Montreal, Canada. Denny (Shawn Ashmore, who is SO fucking gorgeous, I want to have sex with him) is a porn star with AIDS. His father is dying, can barely move and is on Oxygen and all that. Denny steals his blood samples from his father so he can continue to work, so nobody knows he has AIDS. His awesomely sexy mother, Olive (Stockard), is a waitress who has no idea where Denny gets all his money from. The funniest/saddest part was when Denny's doctor comes onto the set of his latest porn film and says "Denny, according to your blood sample, you've been dead for about four hours." So Denny runs his ass home to find his father has died and finds his mourning mother sitting in the living room watching a video of one of his porn films. "So this is what you've been doing."
Olive, of course, is very, very, very Catholic so she's disturbed by this more than most people would be. But because she's so close with Denny (so close that it's almost Oedipal), she gets over it. Then she learns that Denny has AIDS, which she didn't know before. Then comes the scheme that I'm still a little confused about. They're obviously very, very poor and after Denny gets fired, money is scarce. So in order to take care of Denny, Olive has to hatch a plan to sell her life insurance for two million dollars.. But apparently, in order to be able to do that, she needs a medical opinion that she has less than seven years to live. In order to have less than seven years to live, she has to go out and get herself AIDS. So, she gives herself a makeover, and goes to seduce this guy at Denny's AIDS group therapy.
Ready for that oft-heard about "graphic sex scene"?
They go to a strip club. And while I must say, watching Stockard at a strip club makes me want her to guest star on The Sopranos. But anyway. She and this guy go to some little not-really-secluded corner of the strip club and start making out. He says they have to use a condom and she says no and he says "Are you crazy?" And she's like oh fine. But then she purposely breaks the condom first.That was actually kind of amusing. Her face when she broke the condom. *giggles* Then...they have sex. Anal sex. Completely clothed anal sex. The camera was just on her the entire time and really, her facial expressions were incredible. I mean, here is this uber-Catholic woman whose husband of 30+ years just died who is having disgusting anal sex with a random guy in a strip club in order to give herself AIDS so she can take care of her son. Her expressions during the sex scene alone are worth an Oscar. Then it cuts to her in the bathtub, just completely shell-shocked and feeling disgusting.
Then, the sucky thing happens. It didn't work. She didn't get AIDS. So she's like "fucking hell." And decides the only other way she can get it is to inject some of her son's blood into herself. While he's sleeping, she goes to get it from him. Then...Stockard the Vampiress licks the excess blood off of his arm and injects the rest into her own arm. That, of course, works and she now has AIDS. The doctor tells her, she's like, *sad* "I warned you about this, Olive. You were supposed to watch out for yourself. You have AIDS now." And the doctor turns away and Stockard is like *grin* lmao. She goes out, sells her life insurance for $2 million dollars, gets a makeover and buys a ferrari. Suddenly, everyone is happy. Everyone has AIDS, but everyone is happy.
Best scene in the whole movie? Stockard drives right through this HUGE ASS pile of leaves in the cemetary and gets stuck lmao. So she gets out of the car and is all covered in leaves. That was sexed up.
The segment ends with this line, from random female porn star who once worked with Denny: "You killed me for 800 dollars?!"
Okay. My extra commentary. Stockard is just as good at accents as Meryl Streep is, mmmkay. Her French accent was fucking awesome! Half the time she actually spoke French and half the time it was English with a French accent. It was so fucking good! Now I sooo want to hear her Greek accent in Red Mercury. She was so fucking gorgeous for the end of the movie. I noticed in the beginning that she had put on a little weight for the film, which was fine because it was called for. One of the problems was that Stockard and Shawn Ashmore had way too much chemistry. It's probably not a good idea to have chemistry with your son lmao. It really looked like, in a couple scenes, that they had an Oedipal relationship. I don't think they were supposed to, but it seemed that way. Um, oh yeah. One of the saddest scenes was in the beginning when Stockard was lying in bed with her dying husband and she's watching him all sad and then she kisses him through his oxygen mask. I was like crying! That was so heartbreaking. Her whole performance was heartbreaking. She was just absolutely brilliant. Stunning. I wanna love her forever. Don't think that'll be a problem though.
All in all, wasn't what any of us expected. The "graphic sex scene" had incited all this controversy and whatnot, but it really wasn't anything. It was just fully clothed anal sex, man. Highly disappointing.
But...still fucking amazing. I highly recommend this movie. It's breathtaking.
After the show, we walked around for like an hour looking for someplace to eat. We happened upon a place called the Continental, which was this totally Sex and the City-esque tofu-serving, avant-garde place. It was really cool, even though they served things like octopus and banana wontons. We got the most normal things on the menu: Shrimp scampi (Heather), BBQ Chicken Quesadillas (Amanda), and Beer-battered Shrimp & Calamari (Me). Yeah, that's right, I ate squid. What are you gonna do about it?
Ummm then we went home because it was hot, we were fucking exhausted, and the prospect of being able to go home and watch more Stockard movies was just too appealing to all of us. So we did. We made it home, after a directional mishap that set us back maybe an hour, and watched Too Wong Foo. Then Heather went to bed and me and Amanda watched Heartburn and Truth about Jane before we crashed. They left this morning, and here I am.
Amanda took a ton of pictures of us in Philly, and actually filmed Stockard's sex scene in 3 Needles. So, as soon as she hooks me up with the pictures, I'll hook you up.
We're leaving for Boston tomorrow instead of today because yesterday just didn't give me enough time to pack and stuff. That's all.
Excerpt from gay porn:
Gay Guy #1: Hmm. The phone doesn't work. Oh, no.
Gay Guy #2: That's okay. You can stay here with us for the night.
Gay Guy #1: Well, I guess that'd be okay.
Gay Guy #3: We were just jacking off. Would you like to join us?
Gay Guy #1 *pause*: Why the hell not?
*threesome ensues*
So fucking awesome. Anyway. We didn't get to sleep until around 4am and we had to wake up at 9am, so that was fun. Amanda arrived at 10 and we all got ready. We left at 11, and the first upset of the day was: the Drag Queen Graphic Sex Mix CDs that I made wouldn't work in Heather's car, no idea why. So that was fucking sucky. We ended up jamming to oldschool Alanis Morisette. We got into Philly, had a fight with the parking attendant about backing in and the possibility of a trap door, and beholded the Prince Theatre on Chesnut Street. *sigh* Also, the amount of gay people hanging around was enormous (and fantastic). We checked out the theatre, picked up our tickets, and then set off to walk around Philly. Philly happens to be one of the lamest cities on earth where there's nothing to do. First stop: Starbucks. We ended up sitting there for about a hour just chatting. Then we decided to leave, and we ended up at Cosi for lunch. Where we also sat for about an hour just chatting. Finally we left, went to Tower Records for about a freakin' hour. Then...and only then...did we go to the greatest furniture store on earth. I don't technically know what it's called, but you know what it said in the window? Tipper Gore. Inside. Now. So, naturally, we went inside now. We surmised that Tipper now has her own furniture line. There were copies of An Inconvenient Truth all over the place. It was sexy. Finally we left, when the store employees started looking at us funny.
The show! At 4pm, we went into the theatre. We got great seats in maybe the fourth or fifth row. It was a huuuuge theatre. Second disappointment: Chloe Sevigny didn't show. Fucking whore. She was supposed to be at both shows, but apparently she booked out after last night's show. I could kill her. Thanks a lot, Chloe freakin' Sevigny. Just for that, I am going to continue pronouncing your name wrong, just out of spite! Our friend bartender at the theatre, who gave me free candy, said he talked to her last night and she was "Okay. She was Hollywood." And I asked if she was snobby and he said "Yeah, kinda." Now, onto the show itself.
Well. Let's see. We supposedly saw the director's cut, though you couldn't really tell. Okay, I'll just describe the film first before I start analyzing it.
The film was split into three sections, like three separate short films. The first one was the one set in China, with Lucy Liu. It was interesting, hardly any dialogue, but the plot was severely lacking. It was very difficult to understand what was going on. Most disturbing scene: Lucy Liu delivering her own baby while crouching in a field of rice and biting the umbilical cord off herself. *shudders*
The third one was set in South Africa with Chloe Sevigny (*spits*), Sandra Oh, and Olympia Dukakis. Again, this section was a little hard to understanding, but not because the plot was lacking but because the plot needed a lot more time to fully develop. I'm gonna have nightmares for the rest of my life about Olympia Dukakis being raped. WTF?! That was seriously disturbing. Sandra Oh was amusing, she was kind of comic relief. Chloe was really good, but I'm still mad at her for stiffing us.
The second one. Ahhhhhh, the second one. *grins* Set in Montreal, Canada. Denny (Shawn Ashmore, who is SO fucking gorgeous, I want to have sex with him) is a porn star with AIDS. His father is dying, can barely move and is on Oxygen and all that. Denny steals his blood samples from his father so he can continue to work, so nobody knows he has AIDS. His awesomely sexy mother, Olive (Stockard), is a waitress who has no idea where Denny gets all his money from. The funniest/saddest part was when Denny's doctor comes onto the set of his latest porn film and says "Denny, according to your blood sample, you've been dead for about four hours." So Denny runs his ass home to find his father has died and finds his mourning mother sitting in the living room watching a video of one of his porn films. "So this is what you've been doing."
Olive, of course, is very, very, very Catholic so she's disturbed by this more than most people would be. But because she's so close with Denny (so close that it's almost Oedipal), she gets over it. Then she learns that Denny has AIDS, which she didn't know before. Then comes the scheme that I'm still a little confused about. They're obviously very, very poor and after Denny gets fired, money is scarce. So in order to take care of Denny, Olive has to hatch a plan to sell her life insurance for two million dollars.. But apparently, in order to be able to do that, she needs a medical opinion that she has less than seven years to live. In order to have less than seven years to live, she has to go out and get herself AIDS. So, she gives herself a makeover, and goes to seduce this guy at Denny's AIDS group therapy.
Ready for that oft-heard about "graphic sex scene"?
They go to a strip club. And while I must say, watching Stockard at a strip club makes me want her to guest star on The Sopranos. But anyway. She and this guy go to some little not-really-secluded corner of the strip club and start making out. He says they have to use a condom and she says no and he says "Are you crazy?" And she's like oh fine. But then she purposely breaks the condom first.That was actually kind of amusing. Her face when she broke the condom. *giggles* Then...they have sex. Anal sex. Completely clothed anal sex. The camera was just on her the entire time and really, her facial expressions were incredible. I mean, here is this uber-Catholic woman whose husband of 30+ years just died who is having disgusting anal sex with a random guy in a strip club in order to give herself AIDS so she can take care of her son. Her expressions during the sex scene alone are worth an Oscar. Then it cuts to her in the bathtub, just completely shell-shocked and feeling disgusting.
Then, the sucky thing happens. It didn't work. She didn't get AIDS. So she's like "fucking hell." And decides the only other way she can get it is to inject some of her son's blood into herself. While he's sleeping, she goes to get it from him. Then...Stockard the Vampiress licks the excess blood off of his arm and injects the rest into her own arm. That, of course, works and she now has AIDS. The doctor tells her, she's like, *sad* "I warned you about this, Olive. You were supposed to watch out for yourself. You have AIDS now." And the doctor turns away and Stockard is like *grin* lmao. She goes out, sells her life insurance for $2 million dollars, gets a makeover and buys a ferrari. Suddenly, everyone is happy. Everyone has AIDS, but everyone is happy.
Best scene in the whole movie? Stockard drives right through this HUGE ASS pile of leaves in the cemetary and gets stuck lmao. So she gets out of the car and is all covered in leaves. That was sexed up.
The segment ends with this line, from random female porn star who once worked with Denny: "You killed me for 800 dollars?!"
Okay. My extra commentary. Stockard is just as good at accents as Meryl Streep is, mmmkay. Her French accent was fucking awesome! Half the time she actually spoke French and half the time it was English with a French accent. It was so fucking good! Now I sooo want to hear her Greek accent in Red Mercury. She was so fucking gorgeous for the end of the movie. I noticed in the beginning that she had put on a little weight for the film, which was fine because it was called for. One of the problems was that Stockard and Shawn Ashmore had way too much chemistry. It's probably not a good idea to have chemistry with your son lmao. It really looked like, in a couple scenes, that they had an Oedipal relationship. I don't think they were supposed to, but it seemed that way. Um, oh yeah. One of the saddest scenes was in the beginning when Stockard was lying in bed with her dying husband and she's watching him all sad and then she kisses him through his oxygen mask. I was like crying! That was so heartbreaking. Her whole performance was heartbreaking. She was just absolutely brilliant. Stunning. I wanna love her forever. Don't think that'll be a problem though.
All in all, wasn't what any of us expected. The "graphic sex scene" had incited all this controversy and whatnot, but it really wasn't anything. It was just fully clothed anal sex, man. Highly disappointing.
But...still fucking amazing. I highly recommend this movie. It's breathtaking.
After the show, we walked around for like an hour looking for someplace to eat. We happened upon a place called the Continental, which was this totally Sex and the City-esque tofu-serving, avant-garde place. It was really cool, even though they served things like octopus and banana wontons. We got the most normal things on the menu: Shrimp scampi (Heather), BBQ Chicken Quesadillas (Amanda), and Beer-battered Shrimp & Calamari (Me). Yeah, that's right, I ate squid. What are you gonna do about it?
Ummm then we went home because it was hot, we were fucking exhausted, and the prospect of being able to go home and watch more Stockard movies was just too appealing to all of us. So we did. We made it home, after a directional mishap that set us back maybe an hour, and watched Too Wong Foo. Then Heather went to bed and me and Amanda watched Heartburn and Truth about Jane before we crashed. They left this morning, and here I am.
Amanda took a ton of pictures of us in Philly, and actually filmed Stockard's sex scene in 3 Needles. So, as soon as she hooks me up with the pictures, I'll hook you up.
We're leaving for Boston tomorrow instead of today because yesterday just didn't give me enough time to pack and stuff. That's all.