(no subject)
So I feel like I need a little escape, and even though no one ever reads this anymore - I still find myself coming back here to write.
I'm so mixed up and stressed out right now. It's just all total craziness. I feel like everything in my life is up in the air, and with clever ease it could all fall and shatter on the ground around me. I haven't felt this unhappy in a long long time. I don't know how to fix it. Part of me wants to do something drastic and just move out of state and go start over some place new. The other part of me wants to fix things, but doesn't have the drive to do so. I've been so high strung that I've been flying off the handle with the simplest ease. One little thing and it triggers the iron hand falling down. I can think of 101 things to blame everything on, but then again - I think while places I'd place blame do deserve some - the majority of it is me caving under pressure. I just don't seem to get a break. Every time I fix something, something else goes wrong and takes it's place. I feel like I'm going crazy and losing my mind. I need a vacation - we shall see if I get it. I just need to relax and say fuck all this bullshit.
I'm so mixed up and stressed out right now. It's just all total craziness. I feel like everything in my life is up in the air, and with clever ease it could all fall and shatter on the ground around me. I haven't felt this unhappy in a long long time. I don't know how to fix it. Part of me wants to do something drastic and just move out of state and go start over some place new. The other part of me wants to fix things, but doesn't have the drive to do so. I've been so high strung that I've been flying off the handle with the simplest ease. One little thing and it triggers the iron hand falling down. I can think of 101 things to blame everything on, but then again - I think while places I'd place blame do deserve some - the majority of it is me caving under pressure. I just don't seem to get a break. Every time I fix something, something else goes wrong and takes it's place. I feel like I'm going crazy and losing my mind. I need a vacation - we shall see if I get it. I just need to relax and say fuck all this bullshit.