bad at being bad
Just keep bumping up against this struggle over being a beginner. It keeps me from doing all sorts of things I'd love to be able to do. I don't know if it's because I don't really believe I can learn, or I don't think I'm coordinated, or what, but I just struggle endlessly with anything physical. Give me something to read and I'll remember it forever, and I'll research it and probably come up with an original paper on it. But physical? Pfft.
At this point I can't really imagine finishing music ed, because I don't know how the hell I'll ever learn the piano. I have a friggin baby grand in my livingroom and a really good pianist in my bed, fer chrissakes, but I've never made it past lesson 1. I've never been any good at practicing. I didn't practice viola when I was 8, I don't really practice voice now, etc. It's really frustrating & not something I've ever been able to budge. So I keep thinking maybe I'll just teach history.
Meanwhile, I'm trying again to lose this extra 25 pounds. Calorie counting's going okay, but I no longer belong to a gym, so doing things to get in shape isn't so easy anymore. And I'm discovering just how too small for yoga my house is (1930 is not known for it's spacious rooms)... But so I've started hooping for at least 10 minutes every day. I figure it's manageable and I've sort of got to improve just doing it 10 minutes a day, so I figure it's a good place to learn to be bad at something. So I do, and I watch tutorials, and they make it look so easy...and then I just can't do it! Gah!
So after a solid week I can keep the hoop up at my chest for a few seconds, but I can't transition between my waist and my chest, and I can't move my arms around, and I can't do it on my shoulders at all... and I'm keeping at it because it beats the stairmaster, but It's really pushing all my "my body is broken" buttons. Other people seem to do this so naturally - what's wrong with me? Why am I so stiff and wooden?
At this point I can't really imagine finishing music ed, because I don't know how the hell I'll ever learn the piano. I have a friggin baby grand in my livingroom and a really good pianist in my bed, fer chrissakes, but I've never made it past lesson 1. I've never been any good at practicing. I didn't practice viola when I was 8, I don't really practice voice now, etc. It's really frustrating & not something I've ever been able to budge. So I keep thinking maybe I'll just teach history.
Meanwhile, I'm trying again to lose this extra 25 pounds. Calorie counting's going okay, but I no longer belong to a gym, so doing things to get in shape isn't so easy anymore. And I'm discovering just how too small for yoga my house is (1930 is not known for it's spacious rooms)... But so I've started hooping for at least 10 minutes every day. I figure it's manageable and I've sort of got to improve just doing it 10 minutes a day, so I figure it's a good place to learn to be bad at something. So I do, and I watch tutorials, and they make it look so easy...and then I just can't do it! Gah!
So after a solid week I can keep the hoop up at my chest for a few seconds, but I can't transition between my waist and my chest, and I can't move my arms around, and I can't do it on my shoulders at all... and I'm keeping at it because it beats the stairmaster, but It's really pushing all my "my body is broken" buttons. Other people seem to do this so naturally - what's wrong with me? Why am I so stiff and wooden?