And So It Begins
I'll try to keep this as short as possible.
I picked C up from school on Friday and she vented to me in the car about her art teacher, who she feels singles her out for behavior that others in the class are also doing. I explained that she can only take responsibility for her own behavior, and make strategies regarding who to sit with in order to keep herself from being continually moved to isolated seating. It went...well, I don't really know how it went. Who's to say how much a 10 year old actually listens.
I talked to C's dad on Saturday and he told mer her teacher had called him on Friday. I told him we'd already talked about it, but he didn't know what I was talking about, because it wasn't the art teacher who called, but her classroom teacher, complaining about how she's had attitude problems for a few weeks now, and did something happen?
So I sat her down to talk about it and got (no surprise) a great wall of denial and victimization. After many agonizing hours of household tension, we finally worked it out (more or less) and I got her to identify one consistent feeling (great success!): frustration. She's agreed to start seeing frustration as a red flag that it's time to stop and take a deep breath and make a conscious choice about what comes next, so that that frustration doesn't come through in her voice. It sounds to me like she's often asking for clarification or understanding in some way, but she does it in that "you idiot" tone that is so common to pre-teen girls, and of course it doesn't go over well.
I'll be checking in with her lots over the next few weeks to see how that's going, and with her teacher, to hear about it from her perspective. Her dad and I will be talking about it a lot, too. It's so minor, except that it's not, you know?
Ugh, I'm so unprepared for this. No wonder my mom chose the doomed but easier hands-off route.
That said, she raked the hell out of the yard yesterday, which I was very proud of. A neighbor girl came over to see if she could play and ended up helping. It was good to see. I remember we used to have fun doing chores like that when I was young. It seemed good for her mood, at any rate.
aerialbear reminded me that with 2 parents with depression history, the fact that it's winter may have some part in what's going on with her. I may start her on omegas just to be on the safe side.
Ok, that wasn't short. But on goes the angst potato. Don't pick it up.
I picked C up from school on Friday and she vented to me in the car about her art teacher, who she feels singles her out for behavior that others in the class are also doing. I explained that she can only take responsibility for her own behavior, and make strategies regarding who to sit with in order to keep herself from being continually moved to isolated seating. It went...well, I don't really know how it went. Who's to say how much a 10 year old actually listens.
I talked to C's dad on Saturday and he told mer her teacher had called him on Friday. I told him we'd already talked about it, but he didn't know what I was talking about, because it wasn't the art teacher who called, but her classroom teacher, complaining about how she's had attitude problems for a few weeks now, and did something happen?
So I sat her down to talk about it and got (no surprise) a great wall of denial and victimization. After many agonizing hours of household tension, we finally worked it out (more or less) and I got her to identify one consistent feeling (great success!): frustration. She's agreed to start seeing frustration as a red flag that it's time to stop and take a deep breath and make a conscious choice about what comes next, so that that frustration doesn't come through in her voice. It sounds to me like she's often asking for clarification or understanding in some way, but she does it in that "you idiot" tone that is so common to pre-teen girls, and of course it doesn't go over well.
I'll be checking in with her lots over the next few weeks to see how that's going, and with her teacher, to hear about it from her perspective. Her dad and I will be talking about it a lot, too. It's so minor, except that it's not, you know?
Ugh, I'm so unprepared for this. No wonder my mom chose the doomed but easier hands-off route.
That said, she raked the hell out of the yard yesterday, which I was very proud of. A neighbor girl came over to see if she could play and ended up helping. It was good to see. I remember we used to have fun doing chores like that when I was young. It seemed good for her mood, at any rate.
aerialbear reminded me that with 2 parents with depression history, the fact that it's winter may have some part in what's going on with her. I may start her on omegas just to be on the safe side.
Ok, that wasn't short. But on goes the angst potato. Don't pick it up.