i just want to be good at something.
i dont think i was meant to be a music major...they say music picks us, but i think music made a mistake. people tell me that everyone has problems, but they just don't show it. then why do i? is it because i repress enough shit down that this music is just one more thing that i cannot push in there?
i think im trying to suppress too much. and music, being what it is, won't let me.
yes, this is another rant on livejournal.
::sigh::
it makes me so sad because i can't live without making music. and the fact that another thing i love is breaking my heart. but if you think about it, its just me breaking my own heart and driving me mad while i look happy on the outside.
[i have to develop my confidence level] where has my self-esteem gone to?
whatever little bit i had before is gone i think. i can't even answer a question in class without my heart racing and getting all hot and nervous.
im gone. i just want my fucking brownie.
(i hope i was meant to be a music major)
on a better note, i had a great dinner. and to think, i didn't think i'd get to have dinner tonight. so that is always a plus.
another addition: i'm just frustrated. happens. i'll get over it and all will be well again.
i think im trying to suppress too much. and music, being what it is, won't let me.
yes, this is another rant on livejournal.
::sigh::
it makes me so sad because i can't live without making music. and the fact that another thing i love is breaking my heart. but if you think about it, its just me breaking my own heart and driving me mad while i look happy on the outside.
[i have to develop my confidence level] where has my self-esteem gone to?
whatever little bit i had before is gone i think. i can't even answer a question in class without my heart racing and getting all hot and nervous.
im gone. i just want my fucking brownie.
(i hope i was meant to be a music major)
on a better note, i had a great dinner. and to think, i didn't think i'd get to have dinner tonight. so that is always a plus.
another addition: i'm just frustrated. happens. i'll get over it and all will be well again.