another entry of cheesiness (don't you guys miss these SO much?? heh.)
I'm really bored. I haven't been this bored for a long time, actually. I still have a lot I need to read in my book, but... meh. There's plenty of people online, but they're pretty much all away. I could pack but that's not terribly exciting. Time seems a lot shorter than it should be.
This is definitely the end of summer. Hell, yesterday was the first day I noticed yellow-brown leaves on the ground. And on Thursday, we had our "final big dinner" at Rainforest Cafe for us college people going bye bye. (Even though all of us hung out the next day watching the bandos perform, splurging at Target, going to Noodles&Co, and then going to Catherine's, I guess it really wasn't final as we made it to be, haha. We're too awesome to really end things!)
Yesterday, I realized that I really felt grateful for the friends I have right now. They are the most loyal friends I have ever had. The connections we have with eachother work out just right because we can be ourselves. So... thanks, you guys.
I learned a lot about myself in the last several months. I have a better idea of who I am. But.. I still have choices left to make. The world is vastly populated with different choices, but I just can't decide. At least I have somewhere to start, though. Also in this time span, there were a couple things that happened that really upset me. But I learned from it, so that's all that really matters. The reprocussions of the events affected me for a while, but after I let myself be sad and after I let myself move on after there was no point in being upset anymore, the latest situation is not a major part of my life anymore. Now, I really need to attend to myself, especially with this new environment I have to get used to.
And also... I don't really like to say this, but I feel like I have to. What I'm going through... I don't think people my age really understand. I don't even think some adults understand. That's why I haven't been really been talking about what I've been going through lately with most of my friends. And plus with my circle of friends I normally hang out with, we mainly focus on having fun with eachother, which is what I actually perfer. It would drag us down to talk about depressing stuff all the time. Maybe you think it's bad I've closed up about my issues over the past couple years, but I actually perfer it this way. I know how to cope with my problems much better now. But... I will try to do more public entries, just not many of those entries will be about my super personal issues, that's all. Sometimes though, I do need someone to talk to; sometimes I will open up when I even least expect myself to. Most of the time though, I am fine with expressing myself... to myself.
Just thought it would be fair to let you guys know that I have changed a lot throughout 2006, and the year is not even over. I bet I'll be even more different by the time we turn over to 2007.
Why I am so scared of change when it's doing me so much good? I don't really know. I guess it's just easier to be around what is familiar. When things aren't so familiar anymore... I don't know what to do. I hate not knowing what to do. But as I was told once, "You have to be confused in a situation before you really figure out what really happened."
I chose to be aware of life, and to live it to its fullest. That was the best choice I ever made.
This is definitely the end of summer. Hell, yesterday was the first day I noticed yellow-brown leaves on the ground. And on Thursday, we had our "final big dinner" at Rainforest Cafe for us college people going bye bye. (Even though all of us hung out the next day watching the bandos perform, splurging at Target, going to Noodles&Co, and then going to Catherine's, I guess it really wasn't final as we made it to be, haha. We're too awesome to really end things!)
Yesterday, I realized that I really felt grateful for the friends I have right now. They are the most loyal friends I have ever had. The connections we have with eachother work out just right because we can be ourselves. So... thanks, you guys.
I learned a lot about myself in the last several months. I have a better idea of who I am. But.. I still have choices left to make. The world is vastly populated with different choices, but I just can't decide. At least I have somewhere to start, though. Also in this time span, there were a couple things that happened that really upset me. But I learned from it, so that's all that really matters. The reprocussions of the events affected me for a while, but after I let myself be sad and after I let myself move on after there was no point in being upset anymore, the latest situation is not a major part of my life anymore. Now, I really need to attend to myself, especially with this new environment I have to get used to.
And also... I don't really like to say this, but I feel like I have to. What I'm going through... I don't think people my age really understand. I don't even think some adults understand. That's why I haven't been really been talking about what I've been going through lately with most of my friends. And plus with my circle of friends I normally hang out with, we mainly focus on having fun with eachother, which is what I actually perfer. It would drag us down to talk about depressing stuff all the time. Maybe you think it's bad I've closed up about my issues over the past couple years, but I actually perfer it this way. I know how to cope with my problems much better now. But... I will try to do more public entries, just not many of those entries will be about my super personal issues, that's all. Sometimes though, I do need someone to talk to; sometimes I will open up when I even least expect myself to. Most of the time though, I am fine with expressing myself... to myself.
Just thought it would be fair to let you guys know that I have changed a lot throughout 2006, and the year is not even over. I bet I'll be even more different by the time we turn over to 2007.
Why I am so scared of change when it's doing me so much good? I don't really know. I guess it's just easier to be around what is familiar. When things aren't so familiar anymore... I don't know what to do. I hate not knowing what to do. But as I was told once, "You have to be confused in a situation before you really figure out what really happened."
I chose to be aware of life, and to live it to its fullest. That was the best choice I ever made.