So confused and out of my mind
Oh well, what to say? Seems like i run here to write when my emotions run out of place, so here i am!!!
Finally things are getting complicated between JC and I.... i guess things can never be perfect, and the problem is that i dont feel like working out the problems anymore... i have realized that since i always blame eveything on myself, he has gotten used to it and now he doesnt see when he screws up. I guess the break up is approaching, cause we have both lost it for teh relationship and its really sad cause a week ago everything was perfect...but now * shrugs*
Oh well, i am out of words, its one of those moments when i want to speak so much but seems like i have a barrier that stops the words from comming out, like i cant really explain all that i feel deep inside.
I want to cry, but the tears wont come out, its like i wanna feel strong when i am crushed inside ... so much pain that i dont feel it anymore, its such a confusion sensation.
I have to confess yesterday all i ate was a piece of cheese cake in the morning with milk and a glass of orange juie and nothing more.... and i ate that so my stomach wouldnt get messy with me... stress plus HCl in the stomach = Pain! adn well, today the same....just a glass of milk and a glass of orange juice, and yet...i am not hungry...
And while i am writting this i am talking with JC, arguing with him actually and i feel like shit... physicaly... i mean i feel my sight is kinda blurry but geez... i am so out of my mind.... i wish i could turn back time... or i could have someone to tell me whats wrong between me and JC...!!!! Everything seemed ok, he said everything was ok yesterday... and today * shakes head* I think it would be better if we said goodbye....
Finally things are getting complicated between JC and I.... i guess things can never be perfect, and the problem is that i dont feel like working out the problems anymore... i have realized that since i always blame eveything on myself, he has gotten used to it and now he doesnt see when he screws up. I guess the break up is approaching, cause we have both lost it for teh relationship and its really sad cause a week ago everything was perfect...but now * shrugs*
Oh well, i am out of words, its one of those moments when i want to speak so much but seems like i have a barrier that stops the words from comming out, like i cant really explain all that i feel deep inside.
I want to cry, but the tears wont come out, its like i wanna feel strong when i am crushed inside ... so much pain that i dont feel it anymore, its such a confusion sensation.
I have to confess yesterday all i ate was a piece of cheese cake in the morning with milk and a glass of orange juie and nothing more.... and i ate that so my stomach wouldnt get messy with me... stress plus HCl in the stomach = Pain! adn well, today the same....just a glass of milk and a glass of orange juice, and yet...i am not hungry...
And while i am writting this i am talking with JC, arguing with him actually and i feel like shit... physicaly... i mean i feel my sight is kinda blurry but geez... i am so out of my mind.... i wish i could turn back time... or i could have someone to tell me whats wrong between me and JC...!!!! Everything seemed ok, he said everything was ok yesterday... and today * shakes head* I think it would be better if we said goodbye....