Unmei: That painful feeling (intro)
Ever wonder why you just can't let someone go? No matter how hard you try no matter how much distance you put between them? The moment you see them it's like the first time you meet that you know 'this' may be the one? Girly and illogical I know. I suppose in writing this I should just start from the beginning.
My name is Unmei Sol'fiore, I was born in Fairbreeze village where I lead a rather comfortable life studying the arcana, and just reading in general. I suppose I am a book nerd or someone who's just obsessed with study all the time. Seeking knowledge is a true gem especially when you can apply that knowledge to something useful. Like magics.
But some how that all changed when I met my first childhood sweetheart. He was such a boy often getting into scrapes over his diminutive height, or climbing something he shouldn't and falling from the tree. I remember he was an orphan adopted in to the sect of priests within the main city. I can't say we really hated each other but we fancied each other at least. Eventually he became a Farstrider and I was proud of him, then plopped my nose into another book to read.
I wonder if he resented me for being such a typical student and always studying. Maybe I didn't pay him enough attention, I don't know I'm deviating from the points. Eventually he just seemed to grow more remorseful and upset after his Captain was shot. It just felt like he completely changed on me. Or maybe that's when I finally pulled out of that book I was reading and realized that maybe this 'new Durdanios' is just the old one that I never saw because I wasn't looking. I got scared I avoided him more, dedicated myself to more studies. Eventually I realized to myself that I must have been hindering him in what could make him happy.
So I left the moment Keal'thas returned to Silvermoon asking for all willing Arcanists to come with him to this place called Outlands. To aid in curing our thirst for Magics. I was ..so hungry all the time. I kept trying to study but it was so hard being so weak and hungry all the time. Sampling fel for the first time was, like drinking a bit of fine white wine during a good adult fiction novel. The with-drawls from it where terrible. I felt that even just a small bit wasn't good enough. Something was terrible wrong, and so I plowed myself into my studies hoping to make sense of it all.
It wasn't till the lead Arcanist in charge of our work in Tempest Keep called to us and told us to prepare to march against Shattrath. I did reluctantly but he insisted. He said follow my lead and do as I do and we will be victorious. I felt like such a sheep doing so, but understood why in the end. We had just betrayed the Prince. We became exiles against our own people and renamed ourselves Scryers. The tombs of knowledge there where like no other. I didn't feel as thirsty as I did though I still craved it. But still as people came and went, as the Prince's madness became all too clear I continued to do my part and avoid, practice and manipulate the arcana for the betterment of the Scryers.
I did my part to aid the Shattered Sun Offensive. I helped read the arcane cubes collected from Bash'irs landing, I assisted translating tomes and categorizing them. Or so I thought. I missed Quel'thalas deep down I knew it. I didn't want to think about it the more and more I stayed there. Which I suppose lead me up to today. I went back at long last arriving in Silvermoon City to see a great deal of it rebuilt. Long gone where the gentle hue's of blue I once remembered. Now the color of red decorated my vision. I wandered the streets just getting lost in how much I remembered and what I was missing before hand.
It was then I found myself standing in front of the Farstrider recruitment place or .... what ever they called it. It was rather empty. Dead looking so I poked my head inside and saw no one really was there. I didn't bother staying. I had no choice, hell I didn't even know why I looked in the first place. Regardless I continued on taking a brief reprieve from being on my feet while simply enjoying the sounds of the city. From there I decided it was in my best interest to stop seeing familiar faces and leave.
Of course fate was never good to me as I found myself face to face with -him- again. It was like time just stood still for a brief moment. I hesitated at first but called out his name regardless. He looked up and blinked, same face I remember, just a bit older, somewhat scruffier then I remember, still short like I remembered. But he was upset, I dont' blame him I was gone for over ten years or so from his life.
And of course we argued. I could feel my chest constrict as we did it was never a good feeling. I tried to pass it off as a joke that we would still argue after all this time. But on the inside I wanted to cry a little. Did I really deserve this from him? His anger for leaving. Was I really doing what was best for him at the time? I doubted myself so much just talking. I felt weak, weaker then when I had been thirsting for Fel energy, weaker then when the Sunwell was robbed from us.
I told him why I came back, I tried to I paused in the middle of what I was thinking of saying in place from the Truth. Eventually I just told him, I came back because I missed him. Deep down I knew that was the true choice. I attempted to cover it by adding that they closed the library in Shattrath for renovations. Such a bold face lie but I felt ashamed to admit that I did. I felt a spark of hope when he said he did as well. But then he added the dreaded 'but'. My heart literally dropped into the pit of my stomach. He moved on.
I can't really blame him. I left him when he probably needed me. I didn't stay in contact with him for over ten years. I felt so stupid, I laughed it off, gave him a shy smile and quickly tried to leave. I don't know why I told him where I'd be, if he wanted to see me. I doubt he will he has no reason to. I don't know why I told him I thought he looked good in that Blood Knight regalia.
Light I feel like an idiot. I lost my chance with him, why was I just making things worse. Why couldn't I just use the teleport spell to go back to Shattrath hide myself in a book or in my studies. Why..... why....
Instead I found myself sitting out near the ocean and crying. Crying over how foolishly blind I've been over leaving him, over everything. He wouldn't want to start anything again with me I know it.
Durdanios I'm sorry. I'm sorry for have leaving you.
I'm so sorry.
My name is Unmei Sol'fiore, I was born in Fairbreeze village where I lead a rather comfortable life studying the arcana, and just reading in general. I suppose I am a book nerd or someone who's just obsessed with study all the time. Seeking knowledge is a true gem especially when you can apply that knowledge to something useful. Like magics.
But some how that all changed when I met my first childhood sweetheart. He was such a boy often getting into scrapes over his diminutive height, or climbing something he shouldn't and falling from the tree. I remember he was an orphan adopted in to the sect of priests within the main city. I can't say we really hated each other but we fancied each other at least. Eventually he became a Farstrider and I was proud of him, then plopped my nose into another book to read.
I wonder if he resented me for being such a typical student and always studying. Maybe I didn't pay him enough attention, I don't know I'm deviating from the points. Eventually he just seemed to grow more remorseful and upset after his Captain was shot. It just felt like he completely changed on me. Or maybe that's when I finally pulled out of that book I was reading and realized that maybe this 'new Durdanios' is just the old one that I never saw because I wasn't looking. I got scared I avoided him more, dedicated myself to more studies. Eventually I realized to myself that I must have been hindering him in what could make him happy.
So I left the moment Keal'thas returned to Silvermoon asking for all willing Arcanists to come with him to this place called Outlands. To aid in curing our thirst for Magics. I was ..so hungry all the time. I kept trying to study but it was so hard being so weak and hungry all the time. Sampling fel for the first time was, like drinking a bit of fine white wine during a good adult fiction novel. The with-drawls from it where terrible. I felt that even just a small bit wasn't good enough. Something was terrible wrong, and so I plowed myself into my studies hoping to make sense of it all.
It wasn't till the lead Arcanist in charge of our work in Tempest Keep called to us and told us to prepare to march against Shattrath. I did reluctantly but he insisted. He said follow my lead and do as I do and we will be victorious. I felt like such a sheep doing so, but understood why in the end. We had just betrayed the Prince. We became exiles against our own people and renamed ourselves Scryers. The tombs of knowledge there where like no other. I didn't feel as thirsty as I did though I still craved it. But still as people came and went, as the Prince's madness became all too clear I continued to do my part and avoid, practice and manipulate the arcana for the betterment of the Scryers.
I did my part to aid the Shattered Sun Offensive. I helped read the arcane cubes collected from Bash'irs landing, I assisted translating tomes and categorizing them. Or so I thought. I missed Quel'thalas deep down I knew it. I didn't want to think about it the more and more I stayed there. Which I suppose lead me up to today. I went back at long last arriving in Silvermoon City to see a great deal of it rebuilt. Long gone where the gentle hue's of blue I once remembered. Now the color of red decorated my vision. I wandered the streets just getting lost in how much I remembered and what I was missing before hand.
It was then I found myself standing in front of the Farstrider recruitment place or .... what ever they called it. It was rather empty. Dead looking so I poked my head inside and saw no one really was there. I didn't bother staying. I had no choice, hell I didn't even know why I looked in the first place. Regardless I continued on taking a brief reprieve from being on my feet while simply enjoying the sounds of the city. From there I decided it was in my best interest to stop seeing familiar faces and leave.
Of course fate was never good to me as I found myself face to face with -him- again. It was like time just stood still for a brief moment. I hesitated at first but called out his name regardless. He looked up and blinked, same face I remember, just a bit older, somewhat scruffier then I remember, still short like I remembered. But he was upset, I dont' blame him I was gone for over ten years or so from his life.
And of course we argued. I could feel my chest constrict as we did it was never a good feeling. I tried to pass it off as a joke that we would still argue after all this time. But on the inside I wanted to cry a little. Did I really deserve this from him? His anger for leaving. Was I really doing what was best for him at the time? I doubted myself so much just talking. I felt weak, weaker then when I had been thirsting for Fel energy, weaker then when the Sunwell was robbed from us.
I told him why I came back, I tried to I paused in the middle of what I was thinking of saying in place from the Truth. Eventually I just told him, I came back because I missed him. Deep down I knew that was the true choice. I attempted to cover it by adding that they closed the library in Shattrath for renovations. Such a bold face lie but I felt ashamed to admit that I did. I felt a spark of hope when he said he did as well. But then he added the dreaded 'but'. My heart literally dropped into the pit of my stomach. He moved on.
I can't really blame him. I left him when he probably needed me. I didn't stay in contact with him for over ten years. I felt so stupid, I laughed it off, gave him a shy smile and quickly tried to leave. I don't know why I told him where I'd be, if he wanted to see me. I doubt he will he has no reason to. I don't know why I told him I thought he looked good in that Blood Knight regalia.
Light I feel like an idiot. I lost my chance with him, why was I just making things worse. Why couldn't I just use the teleport spell to go back to Shattrath hide myself in a book or in my studies. Why..... why....
Instead I found myself sitting out near the ocean and crying. Crying over how foolishly blind I've been over leaving him, over everything. He wouldn't want to start anything again with me I know it.
Durdanios I'm sorry. I'm sorry for have leaving you.
I'm so sorry.