Suspension.
Things have been going kind of weird lately. I'm in this like odd transition mode. I almost feel like I am just drifting... or rather I feel like I am not moving at all... suspended. In space.
I feel like I am existing. But not. I feel familiar. But foreign.
It's been too long since I've seen some friends. And its been too long since I've had a break from others.
I miss my girlies so much. But I no longer feel like I am allowed to belong. It's a weird feeling. And it doesn't make much sense. But I'm choosing my words carefully. I feel Removed.
Removed.
And I'm definitely not missed. <-- silly way to feel I know. It's a self-absorbed way to feel. But sometimes, what is self-oriented is all we know how to feel because it's all that we know. We aren't educated on anything else. It's not that I want to remain ignorant to other peoples feelings. Because I don't. Not at all... It's just that where I am in life its so hard to hold on to everything and not lose your grip.
I'm told to believe that it's my doing. Therefore, I find it hard not to blame myself.
I feel suspended because I feel like I am just out of reach, waiting.
Waiting for something to change. Waiting for something to get better. Waiting for someone to reach out and tell me its gonna be alright. That they'll be there when I come through on the other side....
But is that allowed? Is that too much to ask? Then why does it not feel wrong. Why does this all feel so unjust?
I miss having my girlfriends to go to when things get tough. I miss going out with the ladies. I miss Jessie. And I miss Tabby. And I miss Hannah.
Where do I go from here?
How do I find myself now, surrounded by so many new fair weather friends?
Friends are important. I don't care what anyone says, but they are important. Its a support group. And people who are as close to you as humanly possible without being family.
I'm tired of feeling alone. I'm tired of feeling like I've done something wrong.
I'm in such a weird part of my life. So many things are changing. Its hard to accept change when its happening so rapidly and so very different.
All the while, during the crap, there's good times too. I'm finding an appreciation for people that I've never seen or had before. I am happy and optimistic. Life is taking a turn and things WILL get better. They are getting better. And thats something to be happy about.
Life is beautiful.
Peace/Love
Andy
Travis covers this song. And I do too now. :)
Baby one more time (acoustic) - Travis
I feel like I am existing. But not. I feel familiar. But foreign.
It's been too long since I've seen some friends. And its been too long since I've had a break from others.
I miss my girlies so much. But I no longer feel like I am allowed to belong. It's a weird feeling. And it doesn't make much sense. But I'm choosing my words carefully. I feel Removed.
Removed.
And I'm definitely not missed. <-- silly way to feel I know. It's a self-absorbed way to feel. But sometimes, what is self-oriented is all we know how to feel because it's all that we know. We aren't educated on anything else. It's not that I want to remain ignorant to other peoples feelings. Because I don't. Not at all... It's just that where I am in life its so hard to hold on to everything and not lose your grip.
I'm told to believe that it's my doing. Therefore, I find it hard not to blame myself.
I feel suspended because I feel like I am just out of reach, waiting.
Waiting for something to change. Waiting for something to get better. Waiting for someone to reach out and tell me its gonna be alright. That they'll be there when I come through on the other side....
But is that allowed? Is that too much to ask? Then why does it not feel wrong. Why does this all feel so unjust?
I miss having my girlfriends to go to when things get tough. I miss going out with the ladies. I miss Jessie. And I miss Tabby. And I miss Hannah.
Where do I go from here?
How do I find myself now, surrounded by so many new fair weather friends?
Friends are important. I don't care what anyone says, but they are important. Its a support group. And people who are as close to you as humanly possible without being family.
I'm tired of feeling alone. I'm tired of feeling like I've done something wrong.
I'm in such a weird part of my life. So many things are changing. Its hard to accept change when its happening so rapidly and so very different.
All the while, during the crap, there's good times too. I'm finding an appreciation for people that I've never seen or had before. I am happy and optimistic. Life is taking a turn and things WILL get better. They are getting better. And thats something to be happy about.
Life is beautiful.
Peace/Love
Andy
Travis covers this song. And I do too now. :)
Baby one more time (acoustic) - Travis