Doomed
I think my marriage might be doomed. It seems like for a long time now, everything is wrong. I don't know how to make it better. It might be character flaws in both of us that will never change. Can we keep holding on? Can we keep fighting? How many dumb fights that blow out of proportion before we both give up at the same time? How many days of coming home, wondering what I'm walking into? How many excuses for being jerks, thinly veiled as apologies?
From his side, I think he's so far down that he can't see a way out, and therefore everything is garbage. From my side, I have to keep being this amazing perfect thing that is the only good thing in his life. I can't have a moment where I'm not happy, I can't express concerns, I can't let on that my side of life isn't always sunshine and rainbows. And if I do, it sends him spiraling downward. Thats a lot of responsibility. Is that marriage, or is it a hostage situation?
I feel like a failure as a wife because I'm not perfect. The reaction to my imperfections is so large and extreme that they seem bigger than they are. It consumes me.
From his side, I think he's so far down that he can't see a way out, and therefore everything is garbage. From my side, I have to keep being this amazing perfect thing that is the only good thing in his life. I can't have a moment where I'm not happy, I can't express concerns, I can't let on that my side of life isn't always sunshine and rainbows. And if I do, it sends him spiraling downward. Thats a lot of responsibility. Is that marriage, or is it a hostage situation?
I feel like a failure as a wife because I'm not perfect. The reaction to my imperfections is so large and extreme that they seem bigger than they are. It consumes me.