im trying to watch the cat in the hat....
i feel disgusting.
im fed up with my life, i really am.i dont know how i just get in these moods.
i smoked last night and im pissed about it.
but i just was soo fucking pissed and annoyed and just bitchy.
went to levitown to do the same fucking thing im stuck doing everyday.but somehow everyone else is content with it.because they are simple-minded and don*t care if they do nothing or the same thing everyday all day.
ended up staying there for literally 15 minutes before i left because everyone went skating and i dont skate and i dont enjoy playing mortal kombat for 8 hours straight.
got upset called lauren.
she wanted to smoke a blunt.
i was fed up so i gave in.
no more though im soo shot.
came home with lau and watched gothika in chris*s room til like 130.
it sucked.
chris came home cranky.
i was crankier.
he came with me to drop lauren off.
my body hurts soo bad.
i have no idea why, my right bicep and elbow is killing me.
and my chest feels like its ready to calapse.
ok so i decided i have no friends here.
it*s weird.i love that chris is best friends with my friends now.but its like.hey i wish they didnt have so much in common...things that i dont have in common with them...
like having a DICK AND BALLS.pshhhh overratted.
or skateboarding.
or grand fucking theft auto, or motal combat for hours on end.
and now weed.
i owned that one.
but not anymore.
+plus im broke cause everything i earn has to go to college money, or else i*ll never be able to afford it.
it*s funny, i absolutely hated highschool.i would get called down to the dean*s office everyday, and probably get upset cause half the time it was for cutting because i just needed to escape or go one of two houses to steal my clothing back or something, or my parents trying to put a pins petition against me/child protection services that do absolutely nothing.
the other half because at the same time all of this was happening i was getting my heart ripped out[cliche emo statement but i dont give a fuck cause its true]so i would just flip the fuck out on anyone.
but surprisingly, i really want to go to school.
i miss art the most, and feeling like i have a purpose.
ross is gone.
dave has been gone for a while.
my girls are gone.
i miss julie.shes gone
miski is gone.
jamie is always mia, and her mom has her cell phone.and is crazy.
and everyone one else either forgot about me or is always busy....justina, sams, nikki...etcc...its just not the same.
im broke so i cant go to shows anymore, +plus they aren*t even the same anymore.
in the strangest way i miss just going to a stupid local show.....seeing everyone i know there, ending up behind the merch table with sammybaby, and just being stupid.
i miss the good parts of the summer.
chris has adhd im convinced.hes always on the go, rushing his life with something...i tried to tell him the other day, you dont have to always be in a rush..enjoy your life, because you have a good one.
he doesn*t agree.but i know better.that*s just how he is.
i miss just being able to wake up at my house, and stretch out on my yoga mat. and work out til whenever i want to, and take an amazing hot shower.
i always feel rushed, into nothing.....always rushing, but to what?....the same thing that i do everyday, trivial and unimportant.
ehh fuck this.
im fed up with my life, i really am.i dont know how i just get in these moods.
i smoked last night and im pissed about it.
but i just was soo fucking pissed and annoyed and just bitchy.
went to levitown to do the same fucking thing im stuck doing everyday.but somehow everyone else is content with it.because they are simple-minded and don*t care if they do nothing or the same thing everyday all day.
ended up staying there for literally 15 minutes before i left because everyone went skating and i dont skate and i dont enjoy playing mortal kombat for 8 hours straight.
got upset called lauren.
she wanted to smoke a blunt.
i was fed up so i gave in.
no more though im soo shot.
came home with lau and watched gothika in chris*s room til like 130.
it sucked.
chris came home cranky.
i was crankier.
he came with me to drop lauren off.
my body hurts soo bad.
i have no idea why, my right bicep and elbow is killing me.
and my chest feels like its ready to calapse.
ok so i decided i have no friends here.
it*s weird.i love that chris is best friends with my friends now.but its like.hey i wish they didnt have so much in common...things that i dont have in common with them...
like having a DICK AND BALLS.pshhhh overratted.
or skateboarding.
or grand fucking theft auto, or motal combat for hours on end.
and now weed.
i owned that one.
but not anymore.
+plus im broke cause everything i earn has to go to college money, or else i*ll never be able to afford it.
it*s funny, i absolutely hated highschool.i would get called down to the dean*s office everyday, and probably get upset cause half the time it was for cutting because i just needed to escape or go one of two houses to steal my clothing back or something, or my parents trying to put a pins petition against me/child protection services that do absolutely nothing.
the other half because at the same time all of this was happening i was getting my heart ripped out[cliche emo statement but i dont give a fuck cause its true]so i would just flip the fuck out on anyone.
but surprisingly, i really want to go to school.
i miss art the most, and feeling like i have a purpose.
ross is gone.
dave has been gone for a while.
my girls are gone.
i miss julie.shes gone
miski is gone.
jamie is always mia, and her mom has her cell phone.and is crazy.
and everyone one else either forgot about me or is always busy....justina, sams, nikki...etcc...its just not the same.
im broke so i cant go to shows anymore, +plus they aren*t even the same anymore.
in the strangest way i miss just going to a stupid local show.....seeing everyone i know there, ending up behind the merch table with sammybaby, and just being stupid.
i miss the good parts of the summer.
chris has adhd im convinced.hes always on the go, rushing his life with something...i tried to tell him the other day, you dont have to always be in a rush..enjoy your life, because you have a good one.
he doesn*t agree.but i know better.that*s just how he is.
i miss just being able to wake up at my house, and stretch out on my yoga mat. and work out til whenever i want to, and take an amazing hot shower.
i always feel rushed, into nothing.....always rushing, but to what?....the same thing that i do everyday, trivial and unimportant.
ehh fuck this.