(no subject)
I must say I am a first class idiot. I SWORE this wouldn't happen! Dang it. I hates meself. Well, not really. But I do hate what I'm feeling right now. Freakin' A.
I've been EXTREMELY busy with the play the past few weeks. But it's been unbelievably fun. It's the hardest I've ever worked on a show. I love it. I love the cast and crew too...they're pretty awesome.
So. I feel like a phase of my life is ending. But, I don't know what's going to come next. I mean, what happens when I leave? Do I go back to the same old thing? Or do I strike out on my own. The thought of that is just so scary. Not just b/c I'm moving out of Lincoln...well that's part of it...but there's another thing that is directly related to this.
Moving on is a scary thing. It's so much easier to stay behind where you're safe.
Grr. I hate problems. They complicate life so much. I also hate decisions.
I guess I have to keep telling myself, "You are leaving in two weeks. DON'T do this! Don't get involved. Don't get attached." But it's so hard to listen to my own advice. Oh well. I guess I just have to keep trying.
Dang it. I just don't know if I'm ready to make this decision. My whole life, the thing I've wanted most...is out of here. Cut all my ties to this town, except for my family, and never look back. But now I'm not so sure...and I hate that one stupid little thing can make me rethink everything I've ever wanted.
Sorry this is so vague...i spose if you really want to know...ask. If not, eh...
Love.
Tracy
I've been EXTREMELY busy with the play the past few weeks. But it's been unbelievably fun. It's the hardest I've ever worked on a show. I love it. I love the cast and crew too...they're pretty awesome.
So. I feel like a phase of my life is ending. But, I don't know what's going to come next. I mean, what happens when I leave? Do I go back to the same old thing? Or do I strike out on my own. The thought of that is just so scary. Not just b/c I'm moving out of Lincoln...well that's part of it...but there's another thing that is directly related to this.
Moving on is a scary thing. It's so much easier to stay behind where you're safe.
Grr. I hate problems. They complicate life so much. I also hate decisions.
I guess I have to keep telling myself, "You are leaving in two weeks. DON'T do this! Don't get involved. Don't get attached." But it's so hard to listen to my own advice. Oh well. I guess I just have to keep trying.
Dang it. I just don't know if I'm ready to make this decision. My whole life, the thing I've wanted most...is out of here. Cut all my ties to this town, except for my family, and never look back. But now I'm not so sure...and I hate that one stupid little thing can make me rethink everything I've ever wanted.
Sorry this is so vague...i spose if you really want to know...ask. If not, eh...
Love.
Tracy