(no subject)
Recently, I was speaking to a friend about being GGG.*
Now, let me preface this that I believe the idea of being adventurous, being willing to try new things and experimenting with your partner is absolutely great. Flexibility is an absolute must when it comes to a healthy, happy, kinky relationship.
That being said, I can't think of much worse than a lover who was just indulging me in my kinks. The idea of someone doing something they find sexually neutral or uninteresting (or worse, unpleasant) out of a sense of love and devotion to me is one of the least sexy things I can imagine.
I have some fetishes, some specific acts that turn me on, but they are only erotic to me in the context of play that is stimulating to me and to my partner. I have certain interests (blood play, for example) that are a hard no for many people. I feel almost no sense of loss at the idea of not being able to indulge in that fetish with a partner. A person is arousing to me, a person turns me on, if a person isn't attractive to me, no amount of kink is going to turn me on, and if a person isn't attractive to me, the other stuff can be set aside. Granted, there's a certain need for chemistry, but that has nothing to do with a shared kink.
Of course, while I describe my tastes as "fetishes", in the classical sense they're not. I may enjoy a hand around my throat, or having my hair pulled, or being tied up, but I still have great sex without those things. I've had relationships that were more or less vanilla, and while I certainly noticed the lack of kink, I don't feel like the relationship fell short as a result. I might feel differently if I was one of those people who needs some kink in their sex.
As it stands though, experiment with me, explore, adventure, discover, wander, play, and try new things with me, but for the love of all things, do not indulge me.
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*GGG - A term coined by Dan Savage, meaning "Good, Giving, and Game". It describes people who aren't exactly kinky themselves, but are willing to try something new to keep their lovers happy. Basically, someone who knows what puts that curl in your toe and indulges your kinky ass anyway. If you find someone GGG, I suggest you appreciate what you've got and make it worth her while.
Now, let me preface this that I believe the idea of being adventurous, being willing to try new things and experimenting with your partner is absolutely great. Flexibility is an absolute must when it comes to a healthy, happy, kinky relationship.
That being said, I can't think of much worse than a lover who was just indulging me in my kinks. The idea of someone doing something they find sexually neutral or uninteresting (or worse, unpleasant) out of a sense of love and devotion to me is one of the least sexy things I can imagine.
I have some fetishes, some specific acts that turn me on, but they are only erotic to me in the context of play that is stimulating to me and to my partner. I have certain interests (blood play, for example) that are a hard no for many people. I feel almost no sense of loss at the idea of not being able to indulge in that fetish with a partner. A person is arousing to me, a person turns me on, if a person isn't attractive to me, no amount of kink is going to turn me on, and if a person isn't attractive to me, the other stuff can be set aside. Granted, there's a certain need for chemistry, but that has nothing to do with a shared kink.
Of course, while I describe my tastes as "fetishes", in the classical sense they're not. I may enjoy a hand around my throat, or having my hair pulled, or being tied up, but I still have great sex without those things. I've had relationships that were more or less vanilla, and while I certainly noticed the lack of kink, I don't feel like the relationship fell short as a result. I might feel differently if I was one of those people who needs some kink in their sex.
As it stands though, experiment with me, explore, adventure, discover, wander, play, and try new things with me, but for the love of all things, do not indulge me.
--------------------------
*GGG - A term coined by Dan Savage, meaning "Good, Giving, and Game". It describes people who aren't exactly kinky themselves, but are willing to try something new to keep their lovers happy. Basically, someone who knows what puts that curl in your toe and indulges your kinky ass anyway. If you find someone GGG, I suggest you appreciate what you've got and make it worth her while.