(no subject)
I feel like i should write because I got upset last night but tried to not let it show for at least a solid hour. She was texting with that one ex that somehow sets a trigger off where I get uncomfortable. choked up. While we were laying in bed I decided to just say something because if I didn't I would have to sit/lay there with it spinning around in my head over and over.
I'm in love with this girl and I don't want to keep anything from her, especially if it's something that is bothersome to me. I would only hope she would do the same, right?
So I told her... "for some reason that particular ex bothers me, none of the others do.. am i being weird?"
she didn't really say much, maybe because she was tired. she asked if i wanted her to stop talking to her... no.. i really don't want to be that girlfriend and honestly i don't care if she talks to her exs because i still talk to a few of mine, and besides i mean, that stuff happened so long ago & that girl has her own girlfriend & she lives only about three thousand miles away, i don't think they weren't texting about anything serious. Maybe it's because I know they started talking while Nicki and I were still together... I think maybe that's what makes me uncomfortable.
Here's the thing. I really really feel in my heart and in my bones that Nicki and I are supposed to be together. We have this connection that I haven't felt with anyone ever before. If there is such a thing as soul mates, I have found mine. I am reminded of this every day when I look at her, when I talk to her, when we touch, when we kiss...
Why am I going to let something/someone from the past ruin what I have that is right here, right in front of me... it's not worth it.
So I guess my question is, how do i let it not bother me? how do i get past it?
I'm in love with this girl and I don't want to keep anything from her, especially if it's something that is bothersome to me. I would only hope she would do the same, right?
So I told her... "for some reason that particular ex bothers me, none of the others do.. am i being weird?"
she didn't really say much, maybe because she was tired. she asked if i wanted her to stop talking to her... no.. i really don't want to be that girlfriend and honestly i don't care if she talks to her exs because i still talk to a few of mine, and besides i mean, that stuff happened so long ago & that girl has her own girlfriend & she lives only about three thousand miles away, i don't think they weren't texting about anything serious. Maybe it's because I know they started talking while Nicki and I were still together... I think maybe that's what makes me uncomfortable.
Here's the thing. I really really feel in my heart and in my bones that Nicki and I are supposed to be together. We have this connection that I haven't felt with anyone ever before. If there is such a thing as soul mates, I have found mine. I am reminded of this every day when I look at her, when I talk to her, when we touch, when we kiss...
Why am I going to let something/someone from the past ruin what I have that is right here, right in front of me... it's not worth it.
So I guess my question is, how do i let it not bother me? how do i get past it?