things that happen.
I was terrified of the sea when I was small, do you know? Maybe there was something in what they say about the boats; more likely it was common sense manifesting early. It isn't to take lightly, after all, especially when it has you surrounded. I grew out of it, you learn to stand up to things, but then...
I remember-- I might have been five. We were down by the shore, nurse had her hands full with the baby -- obstreperous little bugger, even then. And Gawain -- I can see him still, not so different, really, at what? four years old? with that set to his shoulders, that absolute confidence: you won't hurt me -- Gawain was knee-deep in the water before anyone noticed.
I don't remember hesitating. I was all of five, scared out of my mind, but I didn't hesitate, because my brother was out there-- and I went in after him, maybe to drag him back, maybe just that if he was going to drown then by God I meant to drown too. I went after him, and it was almighty cold and the tide was strong for a child to stand up to; but I took him by the hand and he looked round.
And-- that's all, really. I assume we caught hell for it, we weren't to go near the water, down there where it got treacherous; and probably neither of us thought more about it at the time.
But I remember at that moment I wasn't afraid. I'd been terrified the second before, absolutely sure we were both going to slip under and die; but not then.
Gawain's never thought much of his own courage. God knows he's most of mine.
I remember-- I might have been five. We were down by the shore, nurse had her hands full with the baby -- obstreperous little bugger, even then. And Gawain -- I can see him still, not so different, really, at what? four years old? with that set to his shoulders, that absolute confidence: you won't hurt me -- Gawain was knee-deep in the water before anyone noticed.
I don't remember hesitating. I was all of five, scared out of my mind, but I didn't hesitate, because my brother was out there-- and I went in after him, maybe to drag him back, maybe just that if he was going to drown then by God I meant to drown too. I went after him, and it was almighty cold and the tide was strong for a child to stand up to; but I took him by the hand and he looked round.
And-- that's all, really. I assume we caught hell for it, we weren't to go near the water, down there where it got treacherous; and probably neither of us thought more about it at the time.
But I remember at that moment I wasn't afraid. I'd been terrified the second before, absolutely sure we were both going to slip under and die; but not then.
Gawain's never thought much of his own courage. God knows he's most of mine.