been doing lots of writeing.
love like a fires song, echoing threw the midngiht.
hope and missing the gone, left standing alone in fright...
mesterious ways, follow mysterious days, unexpected, surpriseing and appriciated...
flowing out from the winters bosom to signify better days...
once better ways. twice better gaze. spin me around again...
what was that... i thought i saw something... no nothing...
a fleeting glimpse into a broken promise half forgotten... who are you anyway? changeing and stireing like earth itself.
becomeing and then unbecomeing in yourself...
lost, and forgotten? or is it just what i see? why do you try to hide?
not quick enough, im judged before im tried.
and people i cant see, stare in... and people who i cant hear, laugh again...
what is unfair... maybe it dosent exist.
makeing a fuss over the things that infect all of us...
follow my heart... what? where... its back? since when...
...and iv run aground once again...
...again...
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
before the take over, the sweeping insensitivity. i felt soemthing growing in me...
before it broke free threw the surface it was destroyed...
everything is nothing and everything all at once... forget to remember, kill to live...
up is down & left is right...
i sit... im at the end of the game... and yet it starts aknew...
this drives most people crazy...
...but...
iv been here before... the feeling of my dissassociation, the feeling of attachment that i hide like a present. waiting for the right time to bring it out. i feel it dissapearing to...
no one is perfect...
but its what you realise at the end of it that matters...
lets get one thing striaght.
i had you. not the other way around. im not on a leash. i dont need you. the girl who i want to want me, is one who choses me. not choses me beacuse im there. beacuse im calling, or chaseing her. i chase who i want... but no one... NO ONE. chases forever...
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
i keep teetering... break up... fix...
the conclusion is the same... it cant work the same... especialy if its one sidded effort.
...she probably will never know how good it could have been...
my mind has become a maze of thorny bushes... and whats worse... it grows and changes as offten as my thoughts come... unable to distinguish between paranoid delusion and probabal possibility, and sure fact.
i have such a burning resentment to this... drama...
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
the weather is constantly... raining... or just wet and cloudy... on and off... but allways... down...
Why? why dosent she put out any effort to make me feel better? shes made me feel better in so many other times... for awhile id call ehr when i needed to talk to someone... and she allways helped me out... she would be supportive... and would critisize what needed to be critisized.
now its all differant... its all gone...
one day this amazeing girl whos to good to be true, next day... something else.
angery, and spiteful, and insenseitive...
the most beautiful is the most diverse in thinking... its funny how the most dangerous is the same...
nicole found everything cool. just as she allso found it fucked up.
no i didnt take her feelings of despair away... all i could do was talk to her about possitive thinking...
if i had a another chance it change the subject to something interesting...
and here i go... documenting.
its unnessescary...
my favorite memory... is sitting on a sewer top... in the dead of night... talking to this girl... feeling nervous... and haveing nothing but belife in the greatness of her.
Fin
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
...grummble... she dosent care...
hope and missing the gone, left standing alone in fright...
mesterious ways, follow mysterious days, unexpected, surpriseing and appriciated...
flowing out from the winters bosom to signify better days...
once better ways. twice better gaze. spin me around again...
what was that... i thought i saw something... no nothing...
a fleeting glimpse into a broken promise half forgotten... who are you anyway? changeing and stireing like earth itself.
becomeing and then unbecomeing in yourself...
lost, and forgotten? or is it just what i see? why do you try to hide?
not quick enough, im judged before im tried.
and people i cant see, stare in... and people who i cant hear, laugh again...
what is unfair... maybe it dosent exist.
makeing a fuss over the things that infect all of us...
follow my heart... what? where... its back? since when...
...and iv run aground once again...
...again...
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
before the take over, the sweeping insensitivity. i felt soemthing growing in me...
before it broke free threw the surface it was destroyed...
everything is nothing and everything all at once... forget to remember, kill to live...
up is down & left is right...
i sit... im at the end of the game... and yet it starts aknew...
this drives most people crazy...
...but...
iv been here before... the feeling of my dissassociation, the feeling of attachment that i hide like a present. waiting for the right time to bring it out. i feel it dissapearing to...
no one is perfect...
but its what you realise at the end of it that matters...
lets get one thing striaght.
i had you. not the other way around. im not on a leash. i dont need you. the girl who i want to want me, is one who choses me. not choses me beacuse im there. beacuse im calling, or chaseing her. i chase who i want... but no one... NO ONE. chases forever...
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
i keep teetering... break up... fix...
the conclusion is the same... it cant work the same... especialy if its one sidded effort.
...she probably will never know how good it could have been...
my mind has become a maze of thorny bushes... and whats worse... it grows and changes as offten as my thoughts come... unable to distinguish between paranoid delusion and probabal possibility, and sure fact.
i have such a burning resentment to this... drama...
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
the weather is constantly... raining... or just wet and cloudy... on and off... but allways... down...
Why? why dosent she put out any effort to make me feel better? shes made me feel better in so many other times... for awhile id call ehr when i needed to talk to someone... and she allways helped me out... she would be supportive... and would critisize what needed to be critisized.
now its all differant... its all gone...
one day this amazeing girl whos to good to be true, next day... something else.
angery, and spiteful, and insenseitive...
the most beautiful is the most diverse in thinking... its funny how the most dangerous is the same...
nicole found everything cool. just as she allso found it fucked up.
no i didnt take her feelings of despair away... all i could do was talk to her about possitive thinking...
if i had a another chance it change the subject to something interesting...
and here i go... documenting.
its unnessescary...
my favorite memory... is sitting on a sewer top... in the dead of night... talking to this girl... feeling nervous... and haveing nothing but belife in the greatness of her.
Fin
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
...grummble... she dosent care...