(no subject)
I feel great. i feel like the old me... affter i suffered a long long long sleepless 5-6 days and slept for 20 stright hours or so i feel great... today i acted, talked, adn expressed myself in what iv grown to knwo as the younger loveable me. sweet, nice, etc. i dance to my music. and i feel content in the world. when i feel this good in myself steph cant touch me. not with the sadness anyways. its true while i dance im aware im dancieng to the music she introduced me to But i dont care. its good music. and i too love it. I wish she was here to dance aswell. But its her choice to lose such fun.
its amazeing how many mroe people like the positive me... i Dont know why that side of me is so hard to reach usualy... i want to reach him... But alas iv had problems, and the reasons for those problems still baffle me.
all i know once i have that boy in my grasp. the only thing that can kill him is really really bad luck. and i see non on the horizon. YES!
if i spend enough time in this side of me i might actually snap back into him... and with him my aura. my crisp light blue dazzleing aura. who could hate it?
i watched requim for a dream today... err last ngiht lol.(i ahev yet to sleep) it was such a good movie. the angles, the soundtrack, the acting, the frames, everything about it ate breathed and shat poetry to me. unfortunetly the relationship simularity between me and the steph/harry and marian sucks. it made me cry really bad. but you know... befor this whole mess of a steph i didnt cry. i used to wish i could cry. and now i can. so im happy about that.
my other ex is being a blah blah But i wont discuss stupidnes dureing my great mood. Im off to dance more people... with a beer bottle i filled with chocholate milk! YES! ...i allways do such weird things... But hey... I can spin around with a bottle of milk ;)
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Omg! just as i updated my journal, a friggan sikh knocked on my door wanting to use my water! lol he had a little curved knife and a red turban and all that, and he had an accent... i was so shocked i jsut nodded constantly and said yep anything to get away from that lol. ...now i dont fel like dancieng anymore... i goingt o go watchi him untangle my hose for fun, and all teh while ill be muttering things in his accent....
----some time later----
that sikh dude may not speak enlgish super good but he sure knows how to demolish my neighbors house! that was fuckign cool. i gues im not sleeping... so i was really tempted to jump inot his backhoe and use it on the house... he left the hoe for awhile to go get some hose... when he came back hes like "waat is it dat you arr dooing?" and im like "i jsut wanted to get closer" and hes like "it coud be dangers here." actaully i was trying to get the balls to drive that sucker. he left it oepn and running and everything!... IT WAS CALLING TO ME!
so now im wondering if i want to go get some destructive weapon and beat the crap out of one of the other houses im sure she going to demonish. anyways im goingt o go enjoy this and eat insta pizzas.
its amazeing how many mroe people like the positive me... i Dont know why that side of me is so hard to reach usualy... i want to reach him... But alas iv had problems, and the reasons for those problems still baffle me.
all i know once i have that boy in my grasp. the only thing that can kill him is really really bad luck. and i see non on the horizon. YES!
if i spend enough time in this side of me i might actually snap back into him... and with him my aura. my crisp light blue dazzleing aura. who could hate it?
i watched requim for a dream today... err last ngiht lol.(i ahev yet to sleep) it was such a good movie. the angles, the soundtrack, the acting, the frames, everything about it ate breathed and shat poetry to me. unfortunetly the relationship simularity between me and the steph/harry and marian sucks. it made me cry really bad. but you know... befor this whole mess of a steph i didnt cry. i used to wish i could cry. and now i can. so im happy about that.
my other ex is being a blah blah But i wont discuss stupidnes dureing my great mood. Im off to dance more people... with a beer bottle i filled with chocholate milk! YES! ...i allways do such weird things... But hey... I can spin around with a bottle of milk ;)
------------
Omg! just as i updated my journal, a friggan sikh knocked on my door wanting to use my water! lol he had a little curved knife and a red turban and all that, and he had an accent... i was so shocked i jsut nodded constantly and said yep anything to get away from that lol. ...now i dont fel like dancieng anymore... i goingt o go watchi him untangle my hose for fun, and all teh while ill be muttering things in his accent....
----some time later----
that sikh dude may not speak enlgish super good but he sure knows how to demolish my neighbors house! that was fuckign cool. i gues im not sleeping... so i was really tempted to jump inot his backhoe and use it on the house... he left the hoe for awhile to go get some hose... when he came back hes like "waat is it dat you arr dooing?" and im like "i jsut wanted to get closer" and hes like "it coud be dangers here." actaully i was trying to get the balls to drive that sucker. he left it oepn and running and everything!... IT WAS CALLING TO ME!
so now im wondering if i want to go get some destructive weapon and beat the crap out of one of the other houses im sure she going to demonish. anyways im goingt o go enjoy this and eat insta pizzas.