Black Widow Feels

[illezabeth]

Because I have many Natasha feels of late, I have a drabble in which I have no idea where, when or what.

Russian Lullaby

Every night you hear her croon
a Russian lullaby.
Just a little plaintive tune
when baby starts to cry.

The girl’s sobs had quietened, her small body too tired to make any more tears, but Natalia didn’t stop stroking her hand over

Comments

Nitpickings

[alex_rydal]

Simple. Evocative. Yay for Red Room feels.

There are several small things that I will list after this, but overall it works well. It's not overly detailed, but it doesn't need to be really, I think it adds to it. My only issue with it, really, is: If the tune is meant to be hummed, why does it have lyrics? Were the Lyrics added later? Or were they passed on quietly, but never sung out loud?

Right, onto the nitpicky bits - most of it is just commas where (IMO) Full stops would work better.

1st Paragraph:
-2nd comma could be a full stop, remove the but afterwards.
-The 'her's get confusing, its easy to mix up whose hand it is, and whose hair it is. Would consider tweaking it a bit to make it clearer.

2nd Paragraph:
-Full stop instead of comma before " for all they knew"
-Full stop instead of comma after "shaking in her bed"

3rd Paragraph:
-Full stop before "But, like the small..."

4th Paragraph:
-I know what the intention is, but the sentence itself doesn't actually make that much sense. I like the image of the girl going still under her hands, giving up under too much pressure. I think this sentence just needs to be rewritten.