*you will always be my endless love*
hello =] so yeah, today was a new day. much better for me actually. last night ended up going pretty shitty. as i wrote, scotty mentioned that he wanted me to go to darien lake with him yesterday but he couldn't get away from the whore. so i thought it was unfair that he couldn't go just because she didn't have money. SO me, being the nice person i am, decided i would let her use my season pass, so SCOTTY could go. not for her stupid ass, for scotty's stupid ass. so i tried to get a hold of him all day, and finally did before he had to go to work. and he answered the phone with all this attitude, and told me i was annoying. so yeah, we basically argued before he hung up. he just totally ruined my night there. i was so upset... 24 hours before that i was so happy he sent me a text being so nice, but then he goes back to being a dick. so i left him some nasty texts for him to see on his midnight break, and said i was sick of his shit, and something about how i was going to date his cousin. WELL to my surprise he actually wrote me back, nothing nice. he said "Fuck u go fuck urself" exactly like that. hah. so i wrote back and asked him if that was hot it was going to be, and he said "That's rite" so there ya go. SO i went to bed all pissed off and upset, no biggie for me. at 2:10 am my phone rings and it's him. he gave me the lecture of dating his cousin that i end up hearing about 4 times a week. then he had to go cuz his girlfriend was coming out. he was being a jerk, soo i left him two really fuckin nasty messages. one was a long one, and then i left a lil "p.s". haha.
soo.. after watching some late night fresh prince of bel-air, best show ever invented, i finally fell back asleep around 3:30 or so? SO, my phone rings at 7:30 and it's him. he tells me he has until 2:30 without his girlfriend, basically asking me to hang out. so we talked for a lil bit, and then he said hold on a minute, he clicked over, his whore called.. and i waited forever for him, and finally hung up and couldn't get a hold of him. so i got pissed off.... and he called me back, and the same thing happened. well turns out that his girlfriend calls him whenever she gets home, which is just so fucking cute. i told scotty he never had me call when i got home, his reply was that he called me before work, during work, after work, and then we were together every other time. which is true but uhh. still.... SO, i got ready really quick. and he came and got me and we went to strawberry fields for breakfast.
on the way there i was telling him how nasty he looked with his hickeys. he has like 3, 2 on one side of his neck, and 1 on the other. it looks so gross. and the thing that's ridiculous is that when we were together hickeys were like forbidden, we didn't give em. his excuse for thaaat one was that he had to be around my parents, and now he don't. now he can look like white trash, what a relief.
so yeah, we're sitting there and he starts telling me he shouldn't hang out with me, it just hurts him and all this other shit. same thing he ends up telling me EVERY time we hang out. so we get to talkin about how oh so confused he is. he told me that he don't think he will be with this girl for long, that he thinks he will get sick of her. he compared his relationship with her to one he had with his ex. he said that when he was with bess, his baby girl's mom, that he left her for someone, and then realized he was in the wrong, and wanted bess back, and it was too late. and he said how he feels about this girl, is how he felt with the girl that it didn't last with. and that by the time he realizes it for sure, it will be too late.
so we had our breakfast, he tells me the same exact things he always tells me. and we take off. we're driving to darien lake, to spend like a whole two hours there. haha. and all of a sudden he was like "kiss me" or something like that while he was driving. and at first i said no, and he like grabbed my chin and we kissed fooooor ever. normally i would get scared, he always used to kiss me when he was driving. but i was like eh whatever this time. and one thing led to another and another.. and we pulled over, NO we didn't do it. but we were talking and he started crying. yet again .. yes i fell in love with a cry baby. haha. but he was sobbing to me and telling me how sorry he was, and how much he cares for me, and how confused he is, and la la la la la. he stopped crying, and started up again. i tried to explain to him the whole day that i really don't understand what his problem is. i mean... before when we dated, he left me for another girl, yeah, pathetic i put up with it. but anywho, when he left me he didn't think about me, he could have cared less. and we STILL ended up getting back together after that. and this time he cares for me now that he left me, so OBVIOUSLY we're going to end up getting back together. that's sorda wishful thinking, and sorda hard to explain. congrats if u got what i was saying. and i mean, if he has doubts already with this girl, and thinks he will get bored with her, then it's obviously not a good thing.
SO; we get to darien lake. had a good time, played some games, yada yada ya, went on some rides. THE USUAL. heh. HE ACCIDENTIALY CALLED ME BABE ! it was so cute. i was eating my taco, and i started to complain because i thought there was a tomatoe in it, although i asked for no tomatoes. and he goes "babe that's the salsa.. uh i mean kat". haha. so i kept calling him babe :D)
so after that we went home, he took me home and on the way back we had a talk.. he promised he would hang out with me one of these days, soon. which he BETTER or i will be mad. possibly thursday? who knows if he can get off his leash. i will be the happiest person ever if he leaves this girl, i mean who knows if he will or whatever? i'm NOT going to get my hopes up anymore. i am hoping quite highly though that he will make the right decision. he said he don't love her, but he still didn't have a straight up answer for me when i asked if we would get back together sometime, so BLAH, who knows. it's just so much.
i hope they get into a huge fight and he leaves her, or visa versa. oh, and plus he is getting his liscense revoked, and will only be able to fuckin drive to work and shit. so yeah, that is bullshit. and i have been on my dad's ass to go get my permit. it's getting a lil old...
so yeah, tonight went out to dinner with the family. made liz go even though she didn't want to. had a fun time. got some cute pix, they're on her phone, and she isn't on. but when she gets on i'll update them soo check back soon.
and mucho commento's por favoro. hehe
<333 you all *
soo.. after watching some late night fresh prince of bel-air, best show ever invented, i finally fell back asleep around 3:30 or so? SO, my phone rings at 7:30 and it's him. he tells me he has until 2:30 without his girlfriend, basically asking me to hang out. so we talked for a lil bit, and then he said hold on a minute, he clicked over, his whore called.. and i waited forever for him, and finally hung up and couldn't get a hold of him. so i got pissed off.... and he called me back, and the same thing happened. well turns out that his girlfriend calls him whenever she gets home, which is just so fucking cute. i told scotty he never had me call when i got home, his reply was that he called me before work, during work, after work, and then we were together every other time. which is true but uhh. still.... SO, i got ready really quick. and he came and got me and we went to strawberry fields for breakfast.
on the way there i was telling him how nasty he looked with his hickeys. he has like 3, 2 on one side of his neck, and 1 on the other. it looks so gross. and the thing that's ridiculous is that when we were together hickeys were like forbidden, we didn't give em. his excuse for thaaat one was that he had to be around my parents, and now he don't. now he can look like white trash, what a relief.
so yeah, we're sitting there and he starts telling me he shouldn't hang out with me, it just hurts him and all this other shit. same thing he ends up telling me EVERY time we hang out. so we get to talkin about how oh so confused he is. he told me that he don't think he will be with this girl for long, that he thinks he will get sick of her. he compared his relationship with her to one he had with his ex. he said that when he was with bess, his baby girl's mom, that he left her for someone, and then realized he was in the wrong, and wanted bess back, and it was too late. and he said how he feels about this girl, is how he felt with the girl that it didn't last with. and that by the time he realizes it for sure, it will be too late.
so we had our breakfast, he tells me the same exact things he always tells me. and we take off. we're driving to darien lake, to spend like a whole two hours there. haha. and all of a sudden he was like "kiss me" or something like that while he was driving. and at first i said no, and he like grabbed my chin and we kissed fooooor ever. normally i would get scared, he always used to kiss me when he was driving. but i was like eh whatever this time. and one thing led to another and another.. and we pulled over, NO we didn't do it. but we were talking and he started crying. yet again .. yes i fell in love with a cry baby. haha. but he was sobbing to me and telling me how sorry he was, and how much he cares for me, and how confused he is, and la la la la la. he stopped crying, and started up again. i tried to explain to him the whole day that i really don't understand what his problem is. i mean... before when we dated, he left me for another girl, yeah, pathetic i put up with it. but anywho, when he left me he didn't think about me, he could have cared less. and we STILL ended up getting back together after that. and this time he cares for me now that he left me, so OBVIOUSLY we're going to end up getting back together. that's sorda wishful thinking, and sorda hard to explain. congrats if u got what i was saying. and i mean, if he has doubts already with this girl, and thinks he will get bored with her, then it's obviously not a good thing.
SO; we get to darien lake. had a good time, played some games, yada yada ya, went on some rides. THE USUAL. heh. HE ACCIDENTIALY CALLED ME BABE ! it was so cute. i was eating my taco, and i started to complain because i thought there was a tomatoe in it, although i asked for no tomatoes. and he goes "babe that's the salsa.. uh i mean kat". haha. so i kept calling him babe :D)
so after that we went home, he took me home and on the way back we had a talk.. he promised he would hang out with me one of these days, soon. which he BETTER or i will be mad. possibly thursday? who knows if he can get off his leash. i will be the happiest person ever if he leaves this girl, i mean who knows if he will or whatever? i'm NOT going to get my hopes up anymore. i am hoping quite highly though that he will make the right decision. he said he don't love her, but he still didn't have a straight up answer for me when i asked if we would get back together sometime, so BLAH, who knows. it's just so much.
i hope they get into a huge fight and he leaves her, or visa versa. oh, and plus he is getting his liscense revoked, and will only be able to fuckin drive to work and shit. so yeah, that is bullshit. and i have been on my dad's ass to go get my permit. it's getting a lil old...
so yeah, tonight went out to dinner with the family. made liz go even though she didn't want to. had a fun time. got some cute pix, they're on her phone, and she isn't on. but when she gets on i'll update them soo check back soon.
and mucho commento's por favoro. hehe
<333 you all *