after all, what's wrong with second best?

[ill_die_alone]

me, Kirk, Autumn, & Jack are going to Kirk's house in upstate NY today.
it's 2 hours away.
i'm making a mixtape for the ride.

it's gonna be freezing there.
supposedly there's snow already.
hopefully i'll be able to take some good pictures.

i've never been to the house before.
and he's been dying to go.
so, yeah.
now we're finally going.

next, me & Autumn have to actually take our roadtrip to Philly.
i still want to find an art school :\

last night sucked. a lot.
i felt like shit, mentally & physically.
i ended up walking out of my math class.
and going home.
putting Sufjan Stevens' "to be alone with you"
and Pedro the Lion's "second best" on repeat.
and just..laid on my bed in the dark.
for hours.
that seems to be something i'm doing quite often lately.
emo much? or maybe just depressive.
whatever.

today is better.
we're watching a film in German called "nobody loves me."
and there's this hawt guy that dances to tribal music on the roof of his apartment building.
and today we found out he was gay.
it excited me a little too much...hah.

uhm.

i'm fine, i'm fine.
these words are all i have to hide behind.