Mom asking questions again.
So the other day my mom bluntly asked me if i washed my hands after indulging in a urination. I just didn't respond to this one as she lectured my dad and i on how disgusting she finds unbathed hands after wrestling with the fire hose. Actually, this was a pretty tame question from mom compared past inquires. Here's a brief history:
High school - We were watching Everybody loves Raymound, i think, and the show veiled masturbation as "personal sessions," my mom, without any hesitation, asked if i ever had a "personal session." I guess by using a metaphor removes any awkwardness from asking you son about if he touches himself. I used the prompt denial and acted offended.
College - Every weekend my mom asked me if i drank, what i drank, and how much i drank. I once told her 5 drinks and she responded, "You were drunk!" Wow, i can't beleive all those drunk college nights trying to finish a six pack.
Virginity - I'll just say that this subject is ongoing.
Drugs - Another favorite question.
Something else that happened to me was spilling over a gallon of tide detergent in my parents laundry room. The giant tub of Tide was on top of the washer, and like a drunk city slicker riding a mechanical bull, the tub was thrown off the machine and splattered like ten feet. That stuff is slicker that ice and a beast to clean.
High school - We were watching Everybody loves Raymound, i think, and the show veiled masturbation as "personal sessions," my mom, without any hesitation, asked if i ever had a "personal session." I guess by using a metaphor removes any awkwardness from asking you son about if he touches himself. I used the prompt denial and acted offended.
College - Every weekend my mom asked me if i drank, what i drank, and how much i drank. I once told her 5 drinks and she responded, "You were drunk!" Wow, i can't beleive all those drunk college nights trying to finish a six pack.
Virginity - I'll just say that this subject is ongoing.
Drugs - Another favorite question.
Something else that happened to me was spilling over a gallon of tide detergent in my parents laundry room. The giant tub of Tide was on top of the washer, and like a drunk city slicker riding a mechanical bull, the tub was thrown off the machine and splattered like ten feet. That stuff is slicker that ice and a beast to clean.