Tidal Wave
So, I just saw photos of a friend's new niece on facebook. She's a premie - like really premie (much more than Luca was) and it's totally got me freaking out. Heart racing and hyperventilating. The wires taped on, the oxygen, the teeny body that's not meant to be out of the womb yet. Everytime I see a baby in trouble, it's like all the trauma that I turned a blind eye to with Luca, comes rushing in on me and overwhelms me. Luca is fine. I know he's doing great. And when we were in the hospital - in typical ilkee-nature - I focused on getting through each moment and didn't really let myself freak out (with the exception of one very bad night when things were going south). But I can't even look at pictures of Luca from the first day anymore. That first video - when all I could think at the time was how cute he was, even with his little lamb cry - now makes my stomach turn.
On that note, today I was walking round with Luca, holding him with an around his butt, when he suddenly flung backwards, arching his back. He cried that horrble cry where your face is all screwed up but no sound is coming out. He cried. I cried. It was terrible. He's fine but he obviously hurt his little back and got scared.
At this very moment, he is laying over my typing arm with his head tipped back letting all the blood rush to his head - and grinning like a loon.
The picture doesn't really do it justice, but at least explains what's going on.
On that note, today I was walking round with Luca, holding him with an around his butt, when he suddenly flung backwards, arching his back. He cried that horrble cry where your face is all screwed up but no sound is coming out. He cried. I cried. It was terrible. He's fine but he obviously hurt his little back and got scared.
At this very moment, he is laying over my typing arm with his head tipped back letting all the blood rush to his head - and grinning like a loon.
The picture doesn't really do it justice, but at least explains what's going on.