this is what happens when abi reads shakespeare too fucking much
HELENA: O teach me how you look, and with what art
You sway the motion of Demetrius' heart.
HERMIA: I frown upon him, yet he loves me still.
HELENA: O that your frowns would teach my smiles skill!
HERMIA: I give him curses, yet he gives me love.
HELENA: O that my prayers could such affection move!
HERMIA: The more I hate, the more he follows me.
HELENA: The more I love, the more he hateth me.
HERMIA: His folly, Helena, is no fault of mine.
HELENA: None but your beauty; would that fault were mine!
HERMIA: Take comfort: he no more shall see my face;
Lysander and myself will flee this place.
Before the time I did my O levels see,
Seemed Shakespeare as a paradise to me:
O, then, what graces in my love do dwell,
That it hath turned my heaven unto hell!
LYSANDER: Helena, I see you were mistook
For this exam is not open book.
Tis' ridiculous and pointless still,
Brute-force memory's not a literary skill.
Alas, through this piece of shit you must suffer,
Memorizing 451 is going to be tougher.
You really need this goddamn grade
So surely some effort's an even trade.
HERMIA: Truth, a truth, I do confess it's true.
LYSANDER: Then you will try?
HERMIA: Hell no! Fuck you.
LYSANDER: I will, my Hermia.
HERMIA: ...
[ Exit HERMIA ]
LYSANDER: Helena, such luck:
That this syllabus just fucking sucks.
[ Exit LYSANDER ]
i don't care if i just butchered the bard and i don't care if not all the syllable counts work. if i have to read this fucking play one more time i will motherfucking choke a bitch
sadly i already know i have to there are just no bitches around for me to choke
EDIT:
DAMNIT TWITTER UNFREEZE ALREADY
You sway the motion of Demetrius' heart.
HERMIA: I frown upon him, yet he loves me still.
HELENA: O that your frowns would teach my smiles skill!
HERMIA: I give him curses, yet he gives me love.
HELENA: O that my prayers could such affection move!
HERMIA: The more I hate, the more he follows me.
HELENA: The more I love, the more he hateth me.
HERMIA: His folly, Helena, is no fault of mine.
HELENA: None but your beauty; would that fault were mine!
HERMIA: Take comfort: he no more shall see my face;
Lysander and myself will flee this place.
Before the time I did my O levels see,
Seemed Shakespeare as a paradise to me:
O, then, what graces in my love do dwell,
That it hath turned my heaven unto hell!
LYSANDER: Helena, I see you were mistook
For this exam is not open book.
Tis' ridiculous and pointless still,
Brute-force memory's not a literary skill.
Alas, through this piece of shit you must suffer,
Memorizing 451 is going to be tougher.
You really need this goddamn grade
So surely some effort's an even trade.
HERMIA: Truth, a truth, I do confess it's true.
LYSANDER: Then you will try?
HERMIA: Hell no! Fuck you.
LYSANDER: I will, my Hermia.
HERMIA: ...
[ Exit HERMIA ]
LYSANDER: Helena, such luck:
That this syllabus just fucking sucks.
[ Exit LYSANDER ]
i don't care if i just butchered the bard and i don't care if not all the syllable counts work. if i have to read this fucking play one more time i will motherfucking choke a bitch
sadly i already know i have to there are just no bitches around for me to choke
EDIT:
DAMNIT TWITTER UNFREEZE ALREADY