(no subject)
Ive been considering dating someone, but its ageinst everything I'm trying to do right now.I'm not sure I could right now. I still don't even allow myself to like anybody letalone date them. I don't want to envest too much emotion on one thing and I don't want to allow others to get close to me. I refuse to be let down by these stupid emotions I wish I didnt have and pretend I don't have. I don't want to be sad becuase of a stupid boy. I can't allow that. Love is dead and I am probably too distant a person for a relationship anyway. But I play with these silly thought because I know no boy I would consider worthy of the thought of even considering to get close to me would even like me the least. We'd break up after I never give him sex or head. I need to be dragged to the doctor to be told my doom. "You have _____" and then I can decide to get extremaly emotionally distraut about it or laugh at life and death and have a good one. Ah to fallow the rules or not. To date agein. How long has it been a year? Its possable. Also I don't want to like anyone too mich and get clingy so I'd be the oposite and everything would go wrong no one would want me for me.