i don't even know what to feel right now.
i feel like i have the flu, but really my heart is broken in so many ways right now.
i decided to go out all night for my last night in salamanca. you can't help but fall in love with the night life here. it almost literally is where everybody knows your name. you go from bar to bar and run into some of the same people. you don't necessarily know their names, but you know each other. you all like the same music, the same drinks.
i held erin as she cried when she said goodbye to me outside of paniagua. i almost broke down at paniagua. the bartender with the long hair that i always see blew me a kiss.
if there was a heaven, i'd want it to be like paniagua. black and white computer paper photo printouts haphazardly pasted onto the wall of drunk people having a good time. amazing music (it's the only bar i've ever been to that consistently plays radiohead). there would be beautiful calimoxo and old movies playing on a small tv hidden away in a corner.
yesterday was nochevieja for students. we packed the plaza mayor and did the uvas and the champagne and sang strange spanish songs. two american boys stripped down completely naked behind me at midnight.
edu and yaiza left me drawings that they'd done and a note that says "sonia don't go, edu, yaiza and sonia FOREVER."
we hopped around bars for a while, but all bars lead to paniagua and potenke (or however the hell you spell it.) it wasn't the same without alex. some guy who's from dallas kept trying to get with me all night. alex never would have done that.
we air guitared and danced all night, and i realized that i will always bring a pen with me to bars to use as a microphone while lipsynching.
i fell asleep on my bed with my boots on and my ass crack hanging out while everyone was in my room. mikey the sort of creepy drunk guy from dallas literally watched me sleep and played with my hair and kept talking to me. i wanted to cry.
there are shards of glass on our floor. i woke up at 11. i hadn't started packing and i have to get to madrid, drop off my bags and get to barcelona all before 1 p.m. tomorrow.
i started packing while nicole and justin laid in bed, talking. i was packing away my things when i realized that every little piece of paper, ever thing i had meant so much to me at that moment. it all would remind me of salamanca. the sad energy was just too much to handle, i wanted to call someone to cry to, to tell them how beautiful and yet painful this moment was.
i wanted to call damien. but i can't. i've lost my only friend. i've lost a lover and i've lost my goddamn best friend. he's the only person who really knows me right now. the only person. alex knows the spanish me. jen and lauren know another me. but damien knew a little bit of both.
this is too much. i can't go through this without having him to talk to.
i decided to go out all night for my last night in salamanca. you can't help but fall in love with the night life here. it almost literally is where everybody knows your name. you go from bar to bar and run into some of the same people. you don't necessarily know their names, but you know each other. you all like the same music, the same drinks.
i held erin as she cried when she said goodbye to me outside of paniagua. i almost broke down at paniagua. the bartender with the long hair that i always see blew me a kiss.
if there was a heaven, i'd want it to be like paniagua. black and white computer paper photo printouts haphazardly pasted onto the wall of drunk people having a good time. amazing music (it's the only bar i've ever been to that consistently plays radiohead). there would be beautiful calimoxo and old movies playing on a small tv hidden away in a corner.
yesterday was nochevieja for students. we packed the plaza mayor and did the uvas and the champagne and sang strange spanish songs. two american boys stripped down completely naked behind me at midnight.
edu and yaiza left me drawings that they'd done and a note that says "sonia don't go, edu, yaiza and sonia FOREVER."
we hopped around bars for a while, but all bars lead to paniagua and potenke (or however the hell you spell it.) it wasn't the same without alex. some guy who's from dallas kept trying to get with me all night. alex never would have done that.
we air guitared and danced all night, and i realized that i will always bring a pen with me to bars to use as a microphone while lipsynching.
i fell asleep on my bed with my boots on and my ass crack hanging out while everyone was in my room. mikey the sort of creepy drunk guy from dallas literally watched me sleep and played with my hair and kept talking to me. i wanted to cry.
there are shards of glass on our floor. i woke up at 11. i hadn't started packing and i have to get to madrid, drop off my bags and get to barcelona all before 1 p.m. tomorrow.
i started packing while nicole and justin laid in bed, talking. i was packing away my things when i realized that every little piece of paper, ever thing i had meant so much to me at that moment. it all would remind me of salamanca. the sad energy was just too much to handle, i wanted to call someone to cry to, to tell them how beautiful and yet painful this moment was.
i wanted to call damien. but i can't. i've lost my only friend. i've lost a lover and i've lost my goddamn best friend. he's the only person who really knows me right now. the only person. alex knows the spanish me. jen and lauren know another me. but damien knew a little bit of both.
this is too much. i can't go through this without having him to talk to.