heartsick
i missed portugal this weekend. alex and i were supposed to meet our group at the train, which left at 4:30 a.m. on saturday morning. friday night, i took cough medicine and passed out with my bag packed at midnight. he was still drinking at 4. i woke up at 5 in a panic, knocked on his door. it was locked and he didn´t answer so i thought he left without me, but it turns out he slept through it, too.
damien and i got back together and immediately i felt so much better about life in general. but he still never calls, never answers my calls, never answers my e-mails and yet...has time to add random girls as his on facebook. my heart is literally splitting into several pieces as i write this. i just don´t know what the hell is going on any more. i feel so fucking isolated.
yesterday we, the americans, went to a movie--madiglani or something. it was all in spanish and i understood most of it.
this weekend i sat in the park with some americans and ate brownies and started at the sun shining through leaves. then i ate a whole pack of chorizo and threw up. i went out until 6 a.m. on sunday morning and ate the best hamburger of my life. it was made by this little spanish man who jumped over his counter and started chasing some jovenes who were walking away with his chair. one of the guys was twice the little man´s size, but the little man threatened to kill him. i watched erin make out with a guy for about an hour.
i just feel physically sick when i think of damien and what he might be doing but probably isn´t and i keep trying to find reasons for why he never seems to have time to contact me but has plenty of time to make friends with random girls.
i´m also getting cut off my health insurance in january which means i´m screwed.
things...aren´t going well. krysten went to get her hair cut here and got a mullet. i think it´s cute, she hates it. i sort of want a mullet to help me deal with the whole damien situation, although i don´t know how that will help.
today krysten and i (and hundreds of others) went to watch this guy climb the tower of the new cathedral. oct. 31 is the anniversary of this earthquake that happened 250 years ago and almost knocked down the tower. so every year a man climbs the tower and plays the flute, sings, releases a bird, plays the drums and thanks god for letting the cathedral stand. krysten said she and her classmates were drinking in class and the teacher just let them go.
i love spain but i hate this feeling.
damien and i got back together and immediately i felt so much better about life in general. but he still never calls, never answers my calls, never answers my e-mails and yet...has time to add random girls as his on facebook. my heart is literally splitting into several pieces as i write this. i just don´t know what the hell is going on any more. i feel so fucking isolated.
yesterday we, the americans, went to a movie--madiglani or something. it was all in spanish and i understood most of it.
this weekend i sat in the park with some americans and ate brownies and started at the sun shining through leaves. then i ate a whole pack of chorizo and threw up. i went out until 6 a.m. on sunday morning and ate the best hamburger of my life. it was made by this little spanish man who jumped over his counter and started chasing some jovenes who were walking away with his chair. one of the guys was twice the little man´s size, but the little man threatened to kill him. i watched erin make out with a guy for about an hour.
i just feel physically sick when i think of damien and what he might be doing but probably isn´t and i keep trying to find reasons for why he never seems to have time to contact me but has plenty of time to make friends with random girls.
i´m also getting cut off my health insurance in january which means i´m screwed.
things...aren´t going well. krysten went to get her hair cut here and got a mullet. i think it´s cute, she hates it. i sort of want a mullet to help me deal with the whole damien situation, although i don´t know how that will help.
today krysten and i (and hundreds of others) went to watch this guy climb the tower of the new cathedral. oct. 31 is the anniversary of this earthquake that happened 250 years ago and almost knocked down the tower. so every year a man climbs the tower and plays the flute, sings, releases a bird, plays the drums and thanks god for letting the cathedral stand. krysten said she and her classmates were drinking in class and the teacher just let them go.
i love spain but i hate this feeling.