hormonal
i was watching father of the bride by myself after a long day. it was growing darker. the movie got to the scene where annie's family meets brian, her fiance, and he was saying all these sweet things about her, how he loves her, how he thinks she's so talented and how he wants to marry her and have kids with her--all in front of her parents who were total strangers to him. and i burst out crying. not happy tears, like at a wedding. but deeply painful tears, like when you're hearing someone criticize you and it pokes a deep part of you. i was just suddenly hysterically sobbing.
everyone's either getting married or in an amazing relationship. i'm in one, but there's either something fundamentally wrong with our pairing or just me, because i shouldn't be crying like this. and i love him so, so much. i'd do anything for him as long as i knew he felt the same way about me. but as the months go buy i see that i'm just not a priority to him and it breaks my heart. it breaks me. it breaks any chance of happiness i could have right now. i just want to be the most important thing in the world to someone. and i'm not to him. but i love him so much i just cannot let go.
in the movie she meets this guy, an american, in rome when she's studying abroad. i'm about to go of to spain. i'm so upset that he won't go, SO upset i can't stop thinking about it. but what if i meet someone in spain who's the one? what if i'm still dating damien when i meet him. or worse, what if damien isn't the one and i wasted my entire experience yearning for him, missing him and crying over him?
everyone's either getting married or in an amazing relationship. i'm in one, but there's either something fundamentally wrong with our pairing or just me, because i shouldn't be crying like this. and i love him so, so much. i'd do anything for him as long as i knew he felt the same way about me. but as the months go buy i see that i'm just not a priority to him and it breaks my heart. it breaks me. it breaks any chance of happiness i could have right now. i just want to be the most important thing in the world to someone. and i'm not to him. but i love him so much i just cannot let go.
in the movie she meets this guy, an american, in rome when she's studying abroad. i'm about to go of to spain. i'm so upset that he won't go, SO upset i can't stop thinking about it. but what if i meet someone in spain who's the one? what if i'm still dating damien when i meet him. or worse, what if damien isn't the one and i wasted my entire experience yearning for him, missing him and crying over him?