WHARRGARBL
Regardless of what circumstances are shaping my daily life, I remain overwhelmingly Buddhist, at least philosophically...
In my past life, I must have been an extremely callous, ruthless, uncaring, ultimately self-centered person. I stepped on people without regards to their feelings, used people without remorse or hesitation to further my own ends, and probably loved or cared about nobody but myself. It's the only explanation for how things are in THIS life.
Every time I reach out to people, I get bitten squarely on the hand. Everytime I try to do the right thing, I get kicked squarely in the nuts. And it's the only way I know how to be. I can't change who I am. I know. I've tried. So, I'm pretty sure I'm destined to go through life getting buffeted around by people who are more aggressive, uncaring, and ruthless than me. And getting punished for helping other people. And not being able to leave well enough alone.
Such is my karma...
...
Did I do the right thing? I hope I did. I'm not so sure anymore. And frankly, I'm scared of the consequences, even though I knew exactly what would happen when I picked up that phone...