Fandom Muses App -
Home.
Yeah, he didn’t have one of those anymore and the small room in the back of a bar didn’t even come close to being home, but it was something for him. It was a space that was his where he didn’t have to remember anything that had happened for the last three years. To him, those three years are gone as if it never happened. The once open and cozy pool house was now just a distant memory of something that he knew he’d never have again and he was fine with that. It didn’t matter.
Now he spends his days working at the bar, serving up drinks to the town drunks that roamed in and out of the building, but when the sun fell, he was looking for a fight. Because yeah, during the day, he’d forget about what happened, he was busy, but at night when he was alone with his thoughts, that was it. All he could see was her and then he’d feel the pain in his chest and the lump in his throat and he just wanted to bash someone’s head in.
Night after night, he’d fight and either walk away from it all feeling relieved or he’d be laying in the street, still relieved that it was a different kind of pain that he was feeling, even for the moment. A home isn’t just a house, a home is somewhere where you belong and for the moment, for the now, blood, pain and tears was all the home that he needed.
Muse: Ryan Atwood
Fandom: The OC
Words: 258
So yeah, my name is Ryan and I’m eighteen years old and I’m pretty much on the run from myself mostly. I grew up in Chino, California, but have been living in Newport Beach with my friend Seth and his parents up until recently. I had gotten into trouble in Chino and my mother kicked me out, so I left and well, Seth’s father was my lawyer and he came and got me and eventually, I moved in. If it wasn’t for them, I wouldn’t know where I’d be right now, probably dead, but at this point, I would pretty much welcome it.
For the last three years, I’ve been through so much and I had finally had enough. When Marissa died, I just left and I never want to look back. Now I’m working at a bar and living in a small apartment. At night, I cage fight. Yeah, seems crazy, I guess but yeah, no, there’s a point to all of it and even if most don’t understand, I understand it all too well. I’m just waiting for the night that some guy is going to knock me out and I’ll never wake up again because feeling the pain from Marissa’s death, not being able to help her after the last three years of doing nothing but … it’s devastating.
I wasn’t able to save her.
Now, I really don’t care what happens to me to be honest and I know that Seth has been coming by. I don’t know how he know’s I’m here, but everytime he comes by, I leave. I just can’t deal with him or them right now. I need to do what’s right for me and being back in Newport Beach, surrounded by people who are going to feel sorry for me … it’s not what I need. I need to forget. Forget or well, die but whichever one will come first, I don’t mind. Just as long as it’s all over.
Muse: Ryan Atwood
Fandom: The OC
Words: 329