ahh what a horrible weekend
oh my fucking god what a miserable weekend. On friday no snowboarding becasue it was too damn cold, that made me sad, its the only thing that is making me happy nowdays. So insead me krissy, andrea, and nick all went to go see my buddy dan's play. And this was at his school, for some reason i got the feeling that it was almost a cult, and because we didnt go to his school we should be shot. I just am like that becasue the whole night like nobody talked to us, and i know some people that were there, and they just would look over at us and talk about us. It was so obvious that they were talking about us. They were all huddled in their little circle, and every now and then two or three of them would look over then they would whisper to their little group, it sucked, i was just like fuckers, hi to you too. Fucking fuck, i dont like those kind of fucking cults. You know what bothers me is when people are like mahh all preps are fuckers because they are so cliquey, well you know what i know a bunch of fucking kids "on the other side of the stairs" who are just like that, the only diffrence is that they dress diffrent........its all just fucking bullshit, and i hate it. Then the next day of this magical weekend i had to stress out all fucking day and work on my perpich application. I started at like 12 and wrote all day until 730. After that all i wanted to do was go somewhere because i was so fucking pissed, but of course my plans fell through because of my fucking parents. fuckers. So i just started drinking, i know this was stupid becasue 1. i was drinking by myself, and 2. you should drink when your mad, becasue you never stop. well then i thought i was a heavy-weight, and so did bonnie and stuff, so i was starting to get a little buzzed after like 2 shots of mexicana(yeah obviously a light-weight)then i still just needed to leave the house, and bonnie was getting super pissed at me, and i was just fucking swearing at her like nothing else because shes like leyla stop faking, i wasnt even pretending to be drunk, and like i just started swearing and yelling at her for everything i had been pissed at her at for the last like 3 months. Then dan came and picked us up and i took a stumble outside my house and cut my hand open, so i had to go to dans and clean up. After that i went to this party at this kids house( and these were the kids that were in that cult the night before) and i showed up and i was still feeling a little bit of a buzz, but i didnt want to feel mad again so i drank more, a lot more (for me at least) I made such an ass of myself to thesse people i didnt even know,i wasnt even drunk yet. Then we went to dans, and then i really started to feel it all i remember is laughing a lot and looking out at these tennis corts and just remembering it as it being the funniest thing ever. I also remember then that bonnie was fucking bitching at me becuase she thought i was faking all night, that was really getting to me, i wanted to hit her, i would have if i could have stood up. After about an hour it started to wear away, so we went to another party, and i drank more. This was another party filled with people that didnt know me so their first impression of me was horrible. There i had a lot to drink, much to much, the only thing i remember is dan coming over and being like leyla lets stop the drunken behavior. god damn i dont ever want to know what i was doing. Im too embarssed to talk to dan and some of the people at that party, fuck i can only imagine what i was doing. by the end i was starting to feel sober, but she wasnt. She fell over, when we were driving home she started screaming, it was kind of scary, but since i was still buzzed i think i was laughing, it was horrible. Me and dan had to carry her up into the bed, but she fell out, and my little sister was crying. I think thats what was the most horrible about it all. Well my little sister got really scared when my friend fell out of the top bunk and started throwing up,and at 3 am she woke up my parents. I just remember my mom rushing downstairs and asking me all these questions. Im glad they caught us, i had been lying way too much to my parents, it was just time for my bad karma to catch up with me i guess. Well ive just been waiting for them to come up with a punishment for me because they were so shocked, i think my moms sending me to therapy or something....i dont konw whatever they decide to do its going to suck, i just know that whenever i go somewhere from now on they are going to call parents and double check whats going on.....god damn this was a horrible weekend....OH well at least it snowed today and i got to go boarding, that took my mind off life for a while. wow this is this is the most fucking personal thing i have ever said on here oh well i needed to get out of my head so i could actually start concentrating again.