The Harbour...Chapter 31: Apologies and strange cookies
She smiled gently. “Joey...no matter what happens, you are my ba...my son, and I will always love you.”
Suddenly his arms were wrapped tightly around her.
“I’m so sorry Mommy,” he mumbled into her hair.
“I know sweetie, and I’m sorry too,” she said, gently holding him away and looking into his tear-filled eyes.
“No, no! You mustn’t be sorry, Mom. I...it’s...it’s...I shouldn’t have left...I shouldn’t have...”
“Scared me half to death,” she said with little smile, finishing his sentence.
“I’m so so sorry,” he said, his face twisted.
She reached to stroke his hair. “Don’t ever do that to me again,” she said softly.
He shook his head vigourously.
She looked over at Brandon, who was standing silently watching them.
He smiled.
“Thank you,” she said, reaching to embrace him.
“I told Joel he can come and stay with me anytime if he has your permission,” he said with a smile when they pulled away.
Joel’s eyes dropped to the gravel at their feet.
“Brandon...” she said, looking at him with a slight frown. “About...”
“You tell Kyle, when you are ready,” he said, reading her mind. “Perhaps when he gets back is best, yes?”
“Yes,” she said, exhaling with relief. “Yes. Thank you. Thank you.”
It was nearly two o’clock and Carolyn and Joel sat at the kitchen table, sharing a plate of rather strange-tasting cookies that Caitlin had made.
Neither of them felt like sleeping, though they were both exhausted, and so they sat and talked.
They both apologized: him for scaring her by running away and her for announcing all at the same time, that she was in love and getting married. They also spoke about school, and his friends, and the guitar that he really wanted. She was amused. She knew he was using the situation to try to get the guitar he had been begging for before his birthday as he had been promised.
Taking a deep breath she told him she loved him, but running away was not acceptable. He had caused a lot of anxiety and fear. He would have to be grounded as punishment.
He nodded sadly. “How long?” He asked.
She thought three weeks was reasonable. He politely negotiated the terms. She agreed that he could walk to and from school with the others, but he would have half an hour after school ended to get home. There would be no after school activities except karate, as he was preparing for his brown belt exam.
He smiled wanly, and she reached over and touched his hand.
“I love you Joel.”
He smiled again, and rolled his eyes in mock horror. “I know Mom.”
He nibbled at one of the cookies, and put in back on the plate wrinkling his nose.
The sky had changed from black to purple. Dawn was approaching. She knew there was something else they needed to talk about. She was stalling.
Joel glanced out the window, and then looking back at her he took a deep breath and looked her straight in the eyes.
“Did Dad cheat on you? Were there really lots of other women?”
She was caught of guard. This was the second time in less than 24 hours that Joel had brought the subject up. When she had kicked Kyle out two years ago after finding him in bed with a friend’s wife, they had simply told the children that they had decided they couldn’t be together anymore. That people sometimes grew apart to the point where their lives were going in different directions.
She knew the children couldn’t avoid the tabloids and gossip TV. They had friends whose parents were in the industry, and everyone talked about everyone else. They were smart kids, and she was sure they knew that their father was a ‘ladies man.’ But she had, she thought, skillfully managed to avoid talking to them about the details of her breakup with Kyle. Until now.
Joel was still looking at her, waiting for her to respond.
She cleared her throat. “I think...” she paused for a moment.
“I think you should ask your father that question.”
His eyelids fluttered, and he looked away.
He looked almost disappointed.
“Oh Carolyn. Stop protecting him,” she thought to herself.
Joel looked back at her. His eyes glistened. “Alright. I will,” he said softly, but determinedly.
She smiled weakly. Kicking herself mentally for being a coward. “But am I being a coward, or am I protecting my children?” she said continuing her internal conversation.
“Don’t smother him,” she heard her father’s voice say.
She opened her mouth to say something. He looked at her expectantly. She closed her mouth again.
“Not today,” she said to herself.
“Joel. There is nothing that you can say or do that will ever make me stop loving you.”
“I love you too Mom. It’s been a really weird 24 hours.”
She laughed softly. “That is has,” she said. “You want some breakfast?”
“After those cookies, I’m not even sure if I ever can eat again,” he said making a face.
They both chuckled.
By time the un-nibbled cookies were back in the fridge, and the cups washed up the sky’s edges were turning amber. She told him she’d call the school and say he wouldn’t be in today, she figured he’d sleep for most of it. She sure felt as though she could.
Carolyn crawled onto her bed, not even bothering to remove the comforter and fell asleep immediately.
In what felt like only five minutes had passed when her alarm went off. She groaned. She always woke for up at 6:45 to make breakfast for the kids and see them off to school.
She rolled off the bed with a grunt, and shuffled into the bathroom. She felt 100 years old. Brushing her teeth and splashing water on her face, she heading for the stairs to check on the girls. After the rough night they had all had last night, she had already decided that if they wanted to sleep in, she would let them. Maybe gently suggest they went in after lunch, but she wasn’t going to force the point.
As she stepped onto the upstairs landing she saw Caitlin heading towards her. Dressed in uniform, with her book bag on her shoulder.
“Morning mom!” She chirped.
“You look very bright this morning,” she said, smiling at her younger daughter.
“Yup. I heard grandpa’s car and I looked out and saw that Joel came home, so I went to sleep and I slept real good.” She was beaming.
“He’s going to be fine,” Carolyn said. “But he’s sleeping in this morning. I’ll be down in a bit to sort out breakfast.”
“That’s okay Mom. You look kinda raggedy she said,” matter-of-factly. “I’ll do the cereal and toast thing.”
“Great.” Carolyn said, patting the top of her head, as she glided past her towards the stairwell.
Standing outside Maya’s room, she tapped gently on the door.
“Maya? Maya honey?”
She heard a movement in the bedroom, but there was no response.
Carolyn, put her hand on the doorknob, and then hesitated. She didn’t want to invade her children’s privacy.
““Maya?”