domo arigato
Here's this week's installment of gloriously awful College football Haiku. It's going to be one heck of a weekend. I'm excited for this slate of games.
#1 Ohio State vs. Cincinnati
Blasé Bearcats brace
for brutal Buckeye beating
in boring battle.
#2 Notre Dame vs. #11 Michigan
Gold, Maize: Which blue wins?
Corn I say! Starch for the win!
Irish down in flames.
#3 Auburn vs. #6 LSU
Blake: Tyger, Tyger--
which feline is the brightest?
Bayou Bengals win.
#4 USC vs. #19 Nebraska
Shades of old return,
but Huskers can pass now too:
Trojans will falter.
#5 West Virginia vs. Maryland
Hill folk and Turtle:
banjo-wielding westerners
best small reptiles.
#7 Florida vs. #13 Tennessee
Spurrier hex gone--
Fulmer flogs his former foe.
Gators get drafted.
#8 Texas at Rice
Forsooth, another!
Grain, that is--but not this time--
ruminants chew cud.
#9 Florida State vs. Clemson
Surly Seminoles
slaughter sinking Clemson set:
"D" suffocating.
#10 Georgia vs. UAB
George slew a dragon--
"Not so, Georgia!" say Blazers:
the Bulldogs are hosed.
#12 Louisville vs. #17 Miami
Platoon of bird backs
runs roughshod over the 'Canes.
Two improves on one.
#14 Virginia Tech vs. Duke
Devils dukes of naught--
Hokie as that sounds: Blues lose,
stick with basketball.
#15 Oklahoma at #18 Oregon
Ducks fly overhead
of Autzen-dreading Sooners.
Quack, Quack: sound of win.
#16 Iowa vs. Iowa State
Tate returns to field,
leads Hawkeyes, snaps skid to State.
Tornado or bird?
#20 TCU vs. #24 Texas Tech
More Texans in fray:
Tech is one to carry the day--
Raiders, come what may.
#21 California vs. Portland State
Bears taste redemption,
not that it is needed now--
Portland patsies lose.
#22 Arizona State at Colorado
New State comes to town;
bad Buff year becomes still worse;
Devils decimate.
#23 Boston College vs. BYU
High-flying Eagles
again top fiesty felines;
Cougars no Clemson.
#25 Penn St. vs. Youngstown St.
JoePa bunch regroups
after Irish dismantling--
Penguins just the thing.
Last Week: 18-4
Overall: 18-4
Current Haiku badness level: Elevated.
#1 Ohio State vs. Cincinnati
Blasé Bearcats brace
for brutal Buckeye beating
in boring battle.
#2 Notre Dame vs. #11 Michigan
Gold, Maize: Which blue wins?
Corn I say! Starch for the win!
Irish down in flames.
#3 Auburn vs. #6 LSU
Blake: Tyger, Tyger--
which feline is the brightest?
Bayou Bengals win.
#4 USC vs. #19 Nebraska
Shades of old return,
but Huskers can pass now too:
Trojans will falter.
#5 West Virginia vs. Maryland
Hill folk and Turtle:
banjo-wielding westerners
best small reptiles.
#7 Florida vs. #13 Tennessee
Spurrier hex gone--
Fulmer flogs his former foe.
Gators get drafted.
#8 Texas at Rice
Forsooth, another!
Grain, that is--but not this time--
ruminants chew cud.
#9 Florida State vs. Clemson
Surly Seminoles
slaughter sinking Clemson set:
"D" suffocating.
#10 Georgia vs. UAB
George slew a dragon--
"Not so, Georgia!" say Blazers:
the Bulldogs are hosed.
#12 Louisville vs. #17 Miami
Platoon of bird backs
runs roughshod over the 'Canes.
Two improves on one.
#14 Virginia Tech vs. Duke
Devils dukes of naught--
Hokie as that sounds: Blues lose,
stick with basketball.
#15 Oklahoma at #18 Oregon
Ducks fly overhead
of Autzen-dreading Sooners.
Quack, Quack: sound of win.
#16 Iowa vs. Iowa State
Tate returns to field,
leads Hawkeyes, snaps skid to State.
Tornado or bird?
#20 TCU vs. #24 Texas Tech
More Texans in fray:
Tech is one to carry the day--
Raiders, come what may.
#21 California vs. Portland State
Bears taste redemption,
not that it is needed now--
Portland patsies lose.
#22 Arizona State at Colorado
New State comes to town;
bad Buff year becomes still worse;
Devils decimate.
#23 Boston College vs. BYU
High-flying Eagles
again top fiesty felines;
Cougars no Clemson.
#25 Penn St. vs. Youngstown St.
JoePa bunch regroups
after Irish dismantling--
Penguins just the thing.
Last Week: 18-4
Overall: 18-4
Current Haiku badness level: Elevated.