[Complimentary Black: Chapter II]
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caligulasAquarium [CA] began trolling carcinoGeneticist [CG]
CA: kar ivve got a glubton a feelins right noww an i dont knoww howw to deal wwith any of them
CA: im dyin here man
CA: first fef drops me like a glubbin ton a carp from a quadrant i didnt even wwant her in in the first place
CA: an then i havve this great duel wwith sol right an im thinkin wwe got a pretty good rivvalry goin on
CA: but then not only does that lowwblooded piece a trash laugh at me
CA: noww he an fef are gettin all lovvey dovvey wwith each other
CA: and it makes me fuckin sick
CA: kar are you evven listenin
CG: WOW.
CG: THANK YOU, ERIDAN, THANK YOU VERY FUCKING MUCH FOR ENLIGHTENING ME ON THE PITIFUL CLUSTERFUCK THAT IS YOUR LIFE RIGHT NOW.
CG: BECAUSE OBVIOUSLY, I HAVE NOTHING BETTER TO DO THAN SIT HERE AND LISTEN TO YOU SPEW YOUR SENSITIVE HIGHBLOOD PROBLEMS IN MY DIRECTION.
CG: HOLD ON, LET ME SIT DOWN AND DELICATELY PROP MY HEAD UP ON MY HANDS, SWINGING MY FEET WITH BARELY CONTAINED ANTICIPATION.
CG: CAN YOU SEE ME, ERIDAN? I’M EVEN COQUETTISHLY COCKING MY HEAD TO THE SIDE SO MY RIGHT EAR CAN FULLY RECEIVE WHAT LEGENDARY NEWS YOU HAVE TO SHARE WITH ME.
CG: COME ON, ERIDAN, I AM LITERALLY SO FUCKING READY FOR THIS IT’S LIKE IT WAS MY DESTINY TO BE THE WASTE BIN FOR YOUR MALODOROUS THOUGHT-DROPPINGS.
CG: VOMIT YOUR WORDS INTO MY FULLY PREPARED HEAR DUCTS.
CA: wwoww
CA: kar youre bein spectacularly fuckin rude
CA: an also kinda fuckin gross
CA: im feelin vvery uncomfortable wwith this actually
CG: WELL I GUESS THAT CAN BE MY CUE TO REEL IT IN THEN, IF I’M OFFPUTTING TO THE MOST OFFPUTTING PIECE OF SHIT IN HERE.
CA: kar if you dont mind im not in the mood for your usual good-natured ribbin
CA: as i explained earlier
CA: im actually feelin a little sick about all a this
CG: UGH.
CG: UM, I GUESS I’M SORRY THEN.
CG: BUT WHAT EXACTLY IS IT THAT YOU WANT FROM ME?
CA: i dont fuckin knoww
CA: i guess i just wwanna talk wwith someone
CA: im feelin kinda lonely noww
CA: and like evveryone hates me
CA: wwell thats not right
CA: if sol hated me then there wwouldnt be a problem
CA: its just like im fuckin nothin
CA: its like im not evven wworth feelin anythin towwards
CA: i feel like im just a fuckin annoyin pile a wwaste that youre all just alwways tryin to avvoid steppin in
CA: oh cod kar i just made myself evven more depressed
CA: im glad at the vvery least youre here to talk
CG: HOLD ON ERIDAN, SOME OTHER FUCKASS KEEPS BOTHERING ME.
CG: I’VE GOTTA TAKE CARE OF THIS.
CA: oh my fuckin cod
CA: wwere you evven listenin to a glubbin wword i wwas sayin
CA: kar please just talk to me PLEASE
carcinoGeneticist [CG] ceased pestering caligulasAquarium [CA]
CA: oh fuck my hot nook
----
twinArmageddons [TA] began trolling carcinoGeneticist [CG]
TA: kk, you there?
TA: kk.
TA: kk.
TA: ...KK.
CG: FOR THE LOVE OF THE MOTHER GRUB’S HOLY FRESH-SCENTED NOOK, WHAT?!
TA: wow what are you two good two talk two me all of a 2udden?
CG: NO, IT’S JUST THAT SOMEONE’S ALREADY BITCHING AT ME RIGHT NOW.
CG: I SWEAR, YOU ASSHOLES ARE GONNA GIVE ME A FUCKING ANNYURISM.
CG: ALL 11 OF YOU ARE GOING TO CHARGE AT ME LIKE WILD MUSCLEBEASTS IN HEAT, WEEPING AND WHINING IN SOME SUPERNATURAL, UNHOLY UNISON. AND WHEN I HEAR THAT DAMNED DIN OF THE ACURSED WAILING SIRENS, MY THINK PAN WILL SCREAM WITH THE PAIN OF A THOUSAND DYING SUNS AS MY CRANIUM OVERFILLS WITH BLOOD.
CG: I’LL DIE FACEDOWN IN A POOL OF MY OWN FLUIDS WHILE YOU INSUFFERABLE NOOKSUCKERS HAVE AN EMTIONAL CIRCLEJERK JUBILEE OVER MY STIFFENING CORPSE.
TA: oh my god ju2t 2hut up for two 2econd2.
CG: WELL.
CG: I’M LISTENING.
CG: COME ON, NOW YOU’RE THE ONLY ONE I’M TALKING TO. I HAD TO EXIT OUT OF THAT OTHER CONVERSATION JUST SO I COULD CONCENTRATE ON ONE SHITTY INANE ISSUE AT A TIME.
TA: who were you talking two?
CG: ERIDAN.
CG: YOU TOTALLY FUCKED HIM OVER THE OTHER DAY, BY THE WAY.
CG: HE’S MORE OF A PATHETIC WRECK THAN USUAL.
TA: 2hiit, he told you? ii 2hould’ve figured ii gue22.
TA: that’2
TA: kiind of what ii wanted two talk two you about actually.
CG: YEAH?
TA: yeah.
TA: iit’2 ju2t
TA: ii’ve been thiinkiing about all that 2hiit.
TA: and you know 2ettiing a2iide the fact that ampora’2 a fuckiing 2tupiid, 2elfii2h nook2taiin wiith a creepy-a22 hatecru2h on me…
CG: OF COURSE.
TA: ii don’t know, ii’ve ju2t been thiinkiing about iit and ii
TA: kiind of feel like ii wa2 a liittle biit of an a22hole about iit.
CG: DUDE, YOU WERE A COMPLETE ASSHOLE ABOUT IT.
TA: 2hiit, you really thiink 2o?
CG: WELL, YEAH DUDE.
CG: I MEAN, I KNOW HE’S ERIDAN AND KIND OF CREEPY AND TACTLESS AND EVERYTHING, BUT HE WAS BEING SERIOUS ABOUT IT.
CG: AND YOU DID, LIKE, LAUGH AT HIM.
TA: augh, 2hiit!
TA: ii’m 2uch a fuckiing iidiiot.
TA: how can ii be the biigge2t a22hole on this entire meteor?
TA: out of our entiire fuckiing triibe of a22holes.
TA: god, iit’s all ampora’2 fault.
TA: ii can’t BELIIEVE ii let that dumba22 nook2taiin triick me iinto actiing liike 2uch an iidiiot.
CG: UH, I’M NOT SURE HE ACTUALLY TRICKED YOU INTO DOING ANYTHING.
CG: I THINK YOU KIND OF DID THAT ON YOUR OWN.
TA: god, ii acted liike 2uch an uncool piiece of 2hiit.
TA: and fi2hbreath fuckiing 2aw iit.
TA: FUCK, how ii2 thii2 nook2niiffer makiing me feel liike the hiigh exalted emperor of all the nook2niiffers.
TA: AUGH, II JU2T FUCKIING HATE THAT A22HOLE SO FUCKIING MUCH, WHY DOE2 THII2 EVEN HAVE TWO BE HAPPENIING.
CG: WOAH, CALM THE FUCK DOWN, SOLLUX.
CG: WHAT THE EVERLOVING HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?
TA: ugh, ii don’t glubbiing know.
TA: ii’m ju2t fru2trated and ii’m 2tartiing two get a headache.
CG: GOD, YOU DON’T KNOW HOW FUCKING ANNOYING IT IS THAT FEFERI’S FISH PUNS ARE RUBBING OFF ON YOU.
CG: BUT ANYWAY.
CG: SHIT, IF IT’S SERIOUSLY BUGGING YOU THAT MUCH
CG: UH, I GUESS I CAN TALK TO ERIDAN MORE ABOUT IT OR SOMETHING?
CG: EVEN THOUGH THIS WHOLE SITUATION IS SO RETARDED I CAN’T EVEN SEE STRAIGHT.
TA: no
TA: ju2t no.
TA: ii thiink ii need to ju2t work thii2 out on my own.
TA: gaiin some of my glubbiing diigniity back, you know?
CG: WHATEVER, DUDE.
TA: 2hiit, ii gotta go, my head ii2 kiilliing me.
TA: ii’ll talk two you later.
CG: LATER, ASSHOLE.
twinArmageddons [TA] ceased trolling carcinoGeneticist [CG]
----
Sollux groaned loudly as he pushed himself away from his computer, bringing a hand up to his temple to attempt to rub out the throbbing pain he was experiencing. The troll sitting beside him immediately took notice to his condition. She turned to him, her eyes flickering with worry and her gills twitching slightly.
“Are you okay, Sollux?” Feferi asked.
Sollux turned to look at her as well, hand still to his head. He saw the worried expression on her face and almost smiled, but tried to keep it in for the sake of looking cool. He may not have done a good job at that. “Nah, I’m cool, FF.” He answered evenly. “There’th jutht been… a lot of thit going on lately, you know?”
Sollux hadn’t mentioned any of that whole Eridan fiasco to Feferi. It was difficult, considering she had been right next to him as the dreaded conversation had been happening, but luckily her eyes never wandered from her own screen (or from Sollux himself, he remembered a little smugly). He had been talking to her almost nonstop since they had entered the Veil, always managing to muster up a little more patience in between fixing computers for her, but he just didn’t want to tell her this. He didn’t want to risk her feeling awkward about the whole thing, despite the fact that she seemed absolutely enthralled to not have the weight of her moirail on her shoulders anymore. Well, maybe it wasn’t so much about her feeling awkward, as it was Sollux. He didn’t even know what he thought about the whole thing, honestly. The whole situation just felt incredibly weird to him, and he didn’t really feel like dragging Feferi into that whole weirdness. Especially not since he had turned down Eridan’s advances; there was no need for her to be dragged into this.
Then Sollux thought about Eridan again, and he almost grimaced, but tried to keep it in for the sake of looking cool. He didn’t think he did a very good job at that, either.
Especially not since Feferi could read him like a book. She frowned, blinking a few times before speaking very deliberately and carefully. “Are you sure there’s not something you’re not telling me? Not anything FISHY going on?” She always rose her voice whenever she dropped a fish pun, as if she wanted to make sure that as many trolls as possible could hear it and be aware that, yes, Feferi Peixes was still doing the whole nautical themed thing. Sollux always acted like it annoyed him, which most of the time it honestly did, but he had grudgingly come to find it endearing, even moreso since it had begun to rub off on him.
Sollux shook his head, trying to seem convincing despite the fact that he was almost cringing from the pain in his head. “It’th fine, it’th fine,” he chanted a little impatiently. He quickly tried to think of an excuse to leave. “I think I jutht need to find thomeplathe to thleep or thomething. Thomeplathe that’th not a thitty pile of hornth.”
Feferi blinked, her face a mask of worry, but after a second of thought she clicked her tongue and hesitantly replied, “Okaaaaaay… If you say so, Sollux.”
Sollux was annoyed beyond belief with himself for feeling so bad for lying to her, but he shook it off long enough to give Feferi one last reassuring “I’m fine,” before getting out of there.
Sollux almost went straight for Eridan’s room, figuring that since he hadn’t seen him out with the others in a while he was probably off sulking by himself somewhere. At first he hadn’t considered that Eridan had any place to go other than his own lodgings. But then Sollux found himself stopping short of the transportalizer, remembering something. He scoffed to himself as he thought of it, and turned on his heel to the door on the other side of the room.
As it slid open, he thought about how utterly stupid was to have a “secret room” that everyone knew about. He also wondered why the fuck so many of these trolls had inexplicable infatuations with piles of things. Regardless, as he entered the room, he found his hunch had been correct. There in the corner was the big, useless pile of shit that Sollux had been looking for. And underneath Eridan was an even bigger pile of the seadweller’s shitty wands.
Eridan was sitting on the pile facing slightly away from Sollux, staring blankly towards the other corner of the room. (Because of this, Eridan had not yet noticed the yellow-blood.) The highblood had curled up into a pitiful ball, hugging his knees to his chest. He had his own cape wrapped around himself as if it were a blanket, and somehow had managed to tuck his chin into the black and blue scarf around his neck.
Just seeing the prissy little cretin desperately retreating inward was enough to make Sollux’s blood boil. He suddenly remembered exactly how much Eridan managed to annoy the ever loving shit out of him and began to wonder why he even wanted to apologize in the first place. He was nearly tempted to just leave the poor bastard alone again, since he hadn’t even noticed him yet anyway, and just leave him to stew in his own misery.
But no. Despite the fact that it was Eridan, Sollux still miraculously felt like an asshole about the whole thing. Possibly because, as Karkat had stated, he actually had acted like a asshole. Sollux couldn’t deny that sometimes (dare he say, about half the time) he would get testy and completely flip his shit at things. He knew when he was acting completely out of turn, but he could very rarely stop it as it happened, and always felt like a dick about it after the mood left him. Sollux hated himself when he got like that, and the irony was that when he flipped the switch to full-out bitch mode, he actually reminded himself of Eridan. That prissy, fishy wretch was the one who constantly undermined people, the one who had to tear apart and laugh at others’ insecurities to feel better about his own. The truth was that, and this was the most frustrating part of it all, Eridan probably deserved a little taste of his own medicine.
But Sollux just couldn’t leave it at that. No matter how flip-ways you turned it, he knew he’d always feel bad about the outburst in the end. And the reason he felt bad was because he knew he was better than that. He was better than Eridan. He knew that. And because he knew that so well, he was going to be the one to take the high road: he would apologize to the whiny, pompous seadweller who couldn’t take what he dished out to others. And he would only do this because of just how much he fucking hated Eridan. He would apologize hoping Eridan would know Sollux was doing this despite how much he hated him, and despite the fact that he had every right not to apologize. Then maybe, knowing that, Eridan would be able to see how much better a “stupid little gutter-blood” could be than a shitty seadwelling “Prince of Hope.” Maybe he would finally realize what a gargantuan fuckass he truly was.
It did occur very briefly to Sollux that his main motivation for apologizing was hoping that Eridan would end up feeling even worse about himself. But only briefly.
Sollux cleared his throat then, realizing that he had just been staring at Eridan for at least three minutes in the hopes that he would notice him on his own. So much for that.
Eridan jumped at the sudden intrusion of sound echoing through the small room and whipped his head towards Sollux, eyes wide. The seadweller had removed his glasses and set them aside, so Sollux immediately saw the puffy, purple bags underneath his eyes. Fuck.
Eridan had looked almost hopeful as he flipped around to look at his intruder, but as soon as his gaze fell on Sollux the hope was quickly replaced with scorn, and he immediately looked away with a scowl on his face. “Go away,” Eridan spat. The venom his voice carried was slightly undercut by the weak sniff that followed.
Sollux grit his teeth, fighting the urge to acquiesce with the seadweller’s ever-so-polite request, and simply walked toward him. “Look, fithhtick, I jutht wanted to talk.”
“Well, I don’t.” Eridan snapped back. He was trying to look and sound fierce, but Sollux could hear his voice getting shakier with every word and his hateful sneer slowly faltering to a quivery pout. The psionic had stopped directly in front of Eridan, but the highblood refused to look up at him, casting his gaze downward and to the side. “I don’t wanna talk about what a insufferable douchefuck you are, an’ I don’t wanna talk about how fuckin’ great it is bein’ able to be with Fef and… and fucking laughin’ at me! I… I don’t wanna hear anything comin’ outta your shitty lispy face!” Sollux could feel his patience already running on empty and he just wanted to get this over with, but Eridan was babbling now, not allowing him to get a word in edgewise. “I don’t wanna talk to anyone right now; if they don’t wanna talk to me, I sure as hell don’t wanna talk to any a’ them either. I just wanna sit here by myself on this fuckin’ shitty pile of wands that keep fuckin’ pokin’ me in the ass, ‘cause I just wanna sit here an’ be miserable for awhile without some grubfisting gutterblood comin’ in here to tell me-”
“Holy thit, I’m thorry!” Sollux had finally lost all of his patience, and the way he suddenly all but screamed at Eridan to be heard over the noise hardly sounded apologetic. But it was enough to garner Eridan’s attention.
The seadweller’s eyes immediately widened and he suddenly looked up at the yellow-blooded troll, confused. Sollux could see a watery purple glaze forming over his eyes, and tears threatened to well up at the corners. Dumbfounded, all Eridan could manage to say was a choked, “Wh… what?”
Sollux grimaced at how pitiful the seadweller looked just then, and clenched his fists in frustration, relaxing them with an exhale to prepare himself to speak again. He thought he might puke if he had to look Eridan in the eye as he said this, so he directed his gaze awkwardly to the side before going on. “It’th jutht what I thaid, nookthtain. I’m thorry. I… thouldn’t have laughed at you like that the other day, I guethh. I thtill don’t wanna be your kithmethith and I thtill think you’re weird ath grubfithting hell, but I guethh I wath… kind of being a jerk.” Sollux took a pause and briefly looked back down to Eridan, and upon seeing the woeful look still plastered to his face quickly added, “And don’t you dare fucking cry. If you cry right now, I’m fucking leaving and you can go fitht yourthelf for all I care. I ain’t your fucking luthuth.”
At this, Eridan managed to blink away his stupor and quickly looked away. A bright purple blush began to reach his face as he sniffed and wiped at his eyes. “I’m not gonna fuckin’ cry, you asshole.” He mumbled. After a moment of thought, he also quickly added, “And I don’t need your glubbin’ apology.”
Sollux didn’t even feel the need to argue with Eridan at that point, seeing as how obvious it was that the highblood was just talking out his ass now. But Sollux did it anyway, crossing his arms and fighting the smirk that threatened to curl up the corner of his mouth. “Uh, I think you kind of do, theeing ath you jutht about broke down weeping at my feet after you heard it.”
“I didn’t-” Eridan whipped his head back towards Sollux, and just as he was about to protest, he cut himself off with a thoughtful look on his face. Sollux met his gaze hesitantly, noticing the anger that slowly began to surface in response to whatever he had just thought about. His eyes bore right through Sollux, and his brows furrowed tightly as he glared at the yellow-blood. Sollux briefly wondered how that nooksniffer could have the audacity to look at him like that right after he had come and apologized, and he met Eridan’s glare with his own, his eyes beginning to glow with the urge to just blast the seadweller straight through the wall.
For a while they both just stood there glaring at each other, and Sollux wasn’t sure how long it had been by the time Eridan startled him by breaking the silence.
“Did you…” Eridan started, his voiced already trailing off as if he couldn’t pick his words out right. “You…. Did… you show that to Fef?”
His voice got quieter at the last part, and Sollux wasn’t sure he had heard him correctly. “What?”
“Did. You. Show it. To Fef.” This time he spoke louder, more deliberate.
“Thow her what?”
“The… the log.”
Sollux let the words and their meaning sink in, and then all he could do was let out a disbelieving scoff. “Did I…? Holy glubbing hell, no! How big of a fucking athhhole do you think I am?” Disbelief unexpectedly turned to anger, and Sollux felt his eyes begin to spark. “No, you dumbathh. That was a private converthathon, and I treated ath thuch becauthe I’m not a complete nookthniffing fuckathh like you are. I came to apologithe becauthe I knew I had to be the bigger troll here, tho I would really fucking apprethiate it if you didn’t drag me down tho I’m at your level, becauthe I’m fucking not.”
Eridan’s blush deepened, but the angry glare remained on his face as he stood up abruptly, getting face to face with Sollux. “Well excuse me,” he snapped back, his voice rising. “Excuse me for thinkin’ that a insufferable mustardblood like you could be insufferable! You had already had a good ol’ laugh at my expense, why wouldn’t I think you’d have a grand time draggin’ in your new glubbin’ girlfriend to join in with you? You know what they say about misery lovin’ company!”
Sollux could feel his eyes throbbing at this point, throbbing with the need to blast some well deserved seadwelling assbag into the next century, and now at this point all he could do was yell uncoolly at the highblood. “You know what, Eridan? Fuck you. Jutht fuck you. Cod forbid I feel like an athhhole for being an athhhole and try to come find your thorry carcath to try to apologithe. Of glubbin’ COURTHE you have to blow it all to hell. WELL THAT’TH THE LATHT CODDAMN TIME I’LL FEEL BAD FOR HURTING YOUR FEELINGTH, FITHBREATH.”
“Yeah? Well thanks a glubbin’ lot for decidin’ to be a condescendin’ dirtscraper, an’ for fuckin’ once in your life decidin’ to be a decent gentletroll when I’m thinkin’ terrible things about you. You’re just the fuckin’ MASTER at doin’ that double reacharound shit just to make me feel like even MORE of a shithead, AREN’T YOU?”
“JETHUTH, I GUETHH I’M THORRY FOR TRYING TO BE FUCKING NITHE.”
“WELL, IT WAS NICE. THAT’S WHY I FUCKIN’ HATE YOU SO MUCH.”
“I WATH JUTHT HOPING THAT IF I APOLOGITHED YOU’D THTOP MOPING AROUND LIKE A MITHERABLE LITTLE GRUB, RUINING EVERYONE’TH DAY WITH YOUR THTUPID, DEPRETHHING FATHE.”
“WELL MAYBE I WILL, SINCE I FEEL BETTER KNOWIN’ THAT YOU’RE THE ONLY ASSHOLE ON THIS METEOR I HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT NOW.”
“GOOD.”
“GREAT.”
“FUCKING FANTATHTIC.”
“IT REALLY IS.”
“WELL THEN, I GUETHH I’LL LEAVE NOW.”
“FINE.”
“OKAY.”
“BYE.”
“THEE YOU LATER, FUCKATHH.” At that, Sollux closed his eyes to keep from blowing up everything in the small space and quickly huffed out of the room.
It was only until he was laying down in his own room, nursing the headache that had unsurprisingly gotten worse, that he would feel like kicking himself up his own ass for how goddamn ridiculous that entire exchange was.
The worst part of it was the excited pounding in his chest that came from the triumph of being able to get in the last word.
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